health and safety is at stake, and all that’s required of me to help fix it is a repeat visit and a single phone call? Wouldn’t you?’
‘When you put it like that, I guess I should. But under normal circumstances, honestly? I wouldn’t even have noticed the menu said anything about MSG, and even if I did happen to notice, I don’t think it would ever occur to me that I could or should do anything about it.’
‘Are you seriously suggesting I should drop it?’ Thankfully, there was no indignation in her tone, just confusion and maybe a little hurt. We were sitting in some waiting chairs, her hand on the arm-rest beside me. I picked it up and entwined our fingers.
‘I’m not saying that at all.Firstly, I wouldn’t dare to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.’ I feigned fear and she gave me a look that left no doubt in my mind that she was not in the mood for jokes. ‘I don’t know. Where do you draw the line? We need more bike lanes in Manly and although I barely drive, I’ve nearly hit two cyclists in the last year or so. I think someone should address it, does that mean I have an obligation to lobby the local council? What about when I see those ads for starving children on television? I’m aware of the problem and apparently all I have to do is give my money over, but where do I stop? Is the right thing to do to keep giving until I bankrupt myself? You can’t fight all of the world’s battles.’
‘But Callum, you have to fight some . Not for the world, but for you. When you find something that stirs a passion inside you, some injustice or some beauty or… or… something— you have to go after it, regardless of how big or small it is, because that’s all there is in this life. There is nothing else worth wasting your time on.’
I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t even know what to think about it. We fell into silence, and even after we’d picked up our meals and quietly agreed to eat at my place, and Lilah seemed to recover from all of the fury of the evening and resumed an animated chatter about the week that had been, I still felt distracted. This woman, who apparently stood for everything that stirred a feeling within her, was the only thing that had stirred a passion in me in years.
‘I should go home,’ she said after she’d finished eating. She rose and I rose too, but instead of walking her out, I took her hand and pulled her silently towards me.
Even after just a week of knowing Lilah, there was so much change happening inside me that I felt I was being enlarged. I wanted to tell her so, but I knew my words would be clumsy and that she’d run like a frightened kitten, so instead I let my kiss and my embrace tell the story.
‘Stay,’ I whispered.
‘But…’ Her voice was weak, but her protest even more so because her eyes pleaded with me to convince her.
‘Stay, Lilah. Please.’
She swallowed. I saw the flickering emotions in her gaze, the internal battle between whatever it was within her that held her back from me, and the opposing force, the bond between us that pulled her to stay. I even saw the moment I won, when the tension in her face relaxed and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
----
S he roused me at the crack of dawn, and before I had even fully woken, we had been past her house for casual clothing and a backpack she filled with food. Then we were on the earliest fast ferry, headed back to Sydney to catch a train.
Lilah had plotted a trek for us, starting at a lookout in Katoomba, looping around something with the ominous name of the Giant Stairway, through some rainforest and back.
When we arrived at Echo Point Lookout, the sun was still low, and there were only a handful of tourists around. It was freezing, but Lilah had told me that even by nine a.m. the area would be teaming with people and tour groups, so the best way to enjoy the area was to get there before they arrived. She stood right at the safety rail and surveyed the
‘When you put it like that, I guess I should. But under normal circumstances, honestly? I wouldn’t even have noticed the menu said anything about MSG, and even if I did happen to notice, I don’t think it would ever occur to me that I could or should do anything about it.’
‘Are you seriously suggesting I should drop it?’ Thankfully, there was no indignation in her tone, just confusion and maybe a little hurt. We were sitting in some waiting chairs, her hand on the arm-rest beside me. I picked it up and entwined our fingers.
‘I’m not saying that at all.Firstly, I wouldn’t dare to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.’ I feigned fear and she gave me a look that left no doubt in my mind that she was not in the mood for jokes. ‘I don’t know. Where do you draw the line? We need more bike lanes in Manly and although I barely drive, I’ve nearly hit two cyclists in the last year or so. I think someone should address it, does that mean I have an obligation to lobby the local council? What about when I see those ads for starving children on television? I’m aware of the problem and apparently all I have to do is give my money over, but where do I stop? Is the right thing to do to keep giving until I bankrupt myself? You can’t fight all of the world’s battles.’
‘But Callum, you have to fight some . Not for the world, but for you. When you find something that stirs a passion inside you, some injustice or some beauty or… or… something— you have to go after it, regardless of how big or small it is, because that’s all there is in this life. There is nothing else worth wasting your time on.’
I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t even know what to think about it. We fell into silence, and even after we’d picked up our meals and quietly agreed to eat at my place, and Lilah seemed to recover from all of the fury of the evening and resumed an animated chatter about the week that had been, I still felt distracted. This woman, who apparently stood for everything that stirred a feeling within her, was the only thing that had stirred a passion in me in years.
‘I should go home,’ she said after she’d finished eating. She rose and I rose too, but instead of walking her out, I took her hand and pulled her silently towards me.
Even after just a week of knowing Lilah, there was so much change happening inside me that I felt I was being enlarged. I wanted to tell her so, but I knew my words would be clumsy and that she’d run like a frightened kitten, so instead I let my kiss and my embrace tell the story.
‘Stay,’ I whispered.
‘But…’ Her voice was weak, but her protest even more so because her eyes pleaded with me to convince her.
‘Stay, Lilah. Please.’
She swallowed. I saw the flickering emotions in her gaze, the internal battle between whatever it was within her that held her back from me, and the opposing force, the bond between us that pulled her to stay. I even saw the moment I won, when the tension in her face relaxed and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
----
S he roused me at the crack of dawn, and before I had even fully woken, we had been past her house for casual clothing and a backpack she filled with food. Then we were on the earliest fast ferry, headed back to Sydney to catch a train.
Lilah had plotted a trek for us, starting at a lookout in Katoomba, looping around something with the ominous name of the Giant Stairway, through some rainforest and back.
When we arrived at Echo Point Lookout, the sun was still low, and there were only a handful of tourists around. It was freezing, but Lilah had told me that even by nine a.m. the area would be teaming with people and tour groups, so the best way to enjoy the area was to get there before they arrived. She stood right at the safety rail and surveyed the
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