under a mass of tresses. The tightness of the bundles pinned against her scalp and the minimum of make-up that she wore made her eyes dance.
Even with the amount of pills she threw down her throat, she never looked a mess and when she smiled he knew that the receiver of that smile would become hypnotised. Sean was well aware he wouldn’t have long with her; that she didn’t really belong to him or with him. After always taking what he wanted and never really thinking about whether he had the right, the way he saw him and her was a complete opposite.
But he couldn’t bring himself to own her the way he wanted to. There was something in his head that always stopped him. She was his idea of what an angel was; pure and delicate, yet so unbelievably strong. You couldn’t keep an angel. They would die in captivity. Angels visit when you need them most and then they leave. They are loaned to you by God. That’s the way it works.
Sean wasn’t religious, despite his mother’s best efforts to drag him to Sunday school and Mass every week, for as long as he could remember, but he liked the stories; parts of them anyway. It was the sermons delivered by the tall, robed Reverend Parson’s at St George’s, with his thunderous deafening voice, which made him come to the conclusion that if there was one divinity, that had the power the bible said it did, he was doomed right from the start.
But he saw a vision of God when he first saw her and if it was all true, he wasn’t about to start fucking around with the main man himself. When he wanted his angel back, Sean would let him take her.
“Always staring!” She said, looking up from the book she was reading.
That was another thing he liked, she read. Like all the time. She read anything, newspapers, magazines, books.
There was always a book in her bag and more often than not in her hand. She was clever as well. Not in a ‘make you feel stupid’ sort of way, but she always explained and introduced him to new information.
If he was honest, he wasn’t really that interested in what she was saying but he could listen to her talk for hours and quite often did; her random facts that she would suddenly blurt out could have him in stitches.
“I could watch you all day.” Sean answered her “Even if you aren’t really here, but off somewhere in that thing.” He gestured to the book.
Rachel’s embarrassed smile sent shivers all the way down his spine.
She closed the hardback. “Sorry. Alice in Wonderland.
It’s my favourite!”
“It’s a kid’s story!”
He was mocking her but had a glint in his eyes showing he was secretly endeared by it.
“Don’t you ever have a favourite story, from when you were younger? Something your mum used to read to you?”
“No!” Sean laughed, finding the idea ludicrous.
“No, me either. My mum would be too pissed to read me a bedtime story. I was eleven when my social worker gave me this. I had never had a present before so whenever I feel anxious or threatened in some way, I read this. It reminds me that someone cared… Once .” The last word was almost whispered.
“You worried about next week; the meeting with your mum?”
Rachel looked out of the car window. They were parked in the garage block at the back of Sean’s estate. They had been smoking a joint, while he was fitting his stereo; acquired as a payment for a debt he was owed.
“A bit.” She shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“It’s a pretty big deal. You haven’t seen her for years.”
Sean said.
“I’m used to that. It’s always been that way.” She replied.
It wasn’t so much the fact that her mother had requested to see her again, it was more to do with why. “I’m more curious than worried. It’s not like they can make me go and live with her again is it. Now I have my own place.”
As much as she did love her mother, Rachel preferred her life when she was out of it. The alcohol just caused too much drama.
Sean had a colossal urge to
Even with the amount of pills she threw down her throat, she never looked a mess and when she smiled he knew that the receiver of that smile would become hypnotised. Sean was well aware he wouldn’t have long with her; that she didn’t really belong to him or with him. After always taking what he wanted and never really thinking about whether he had the right, the way he saw him and her was a complete opposite.
But he couldn’t bring himself to own her the way he wanted to. There was something in his head that always stopped him. She was his idea of what an angel was; pure and delicate, yet so unbelievably strong. You couldn’t keep an angel. They would die in captivity. Angels visit when you need them most and then they leave. They are loaned to you by God. That’s the way it works.
Sean wasn’t religious, despite his mother’s best efforts to drag him to Sunday school and Mass every week, for as long as he could remember, but he liked the stories; parts of them anyway. It was the sermons delivered by the tall, robed Reverend Parson’s at St George’s, with his thunderous deafening voice, which made him come to the conclusion that if there was one divinity, that had the power the bible said it did, he was doomed right from the start.
But he saw a vision of God when he first saw her and if it was all true, he wasn’t about to start fucking around with the main man himself. When he wanted his angel back, Sean would let him take her.
“Always staring!” She said, looking up from the book she was reading.
That was another thing he liked, she read. Like all the time. She read anything, newspapers, magazines, books.
There was always a book in her bag and more often than not in her hand. She was clever as well. Not in a ‘make you feel stupid’ sort of way, but she always explained and introduced him to new information.
If he was honest, he wasn’t really that interested in what she was saying but he could listen to her talk for hours and quite often did; her random facts that she would suddenly blurt out could have him in stitches.
“I could watch you all day.” Sean answered her “Even if you aren’t really here, but off somewhere in that thing.” He gestured to the book.
Rachel’s embarrassed smile sent shivers all the way down his spine.
She closed the hardback. “Sorry. Alice in Wonderland.
It’s my favourite!”
“It’s a kid’s story!”
He was mocking her but had a glint in his eyes showing he was secretly endeared by it.
“Don’t you ever have a favourite story, from when you were younger? Something your mum used to read to you?”
“No!” Sean laughed, finding the idea ludicrous.
“No, me either. My mum would be too pissed to read me a bedtime story. I was eleven when my social worker gave me this. I had never had a present before so whenever I feel anxious or threatened in some way, I read this. It reminds me that someone cared… Once .” The last word was almost whispered.
“You worried about next week; the meeting with your mum?”
Rachel looked out of the car window. They were parked in the garage block at the back of Sean’s estate. They had been smoking a joint, while he was fitting his stereo; acquired as a payment for a debt he was owed.
“A bit.” She shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“It’s a pretty big deal. You haven’t seen her for years.”
Sean said.
“I’m used to that. It’s always been that way.” She replied.
It wasn’t so much the fact that her mother had requested to see her again, it was more to do with why. “I’m more curious than worried. It’s not like they can make me go and live with her again is it. Now I have my own place.”
As much as she did love her mother, Rachel preferred her life when she was out of it. The alcohol just caused too much drama.
Sean had a colossal urge to
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