He talks about me?” I sit up straighter, eager to hear what Jay said.
“ Lily,” Ben exhales, sounding exasperated, “Do I seem like someone that wants to sit around and gossip with you?”
“ No, not really.”
He's relieved that I understand and goes back to eating.
“So, what'd he say?”
Ben drinks more of his whiskey, trying to hide a grin, “The first day I met you–the day Jay came to me for the dagger–he briefly told me about you. Said you didn't know when to keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.”
Ouch, that kind of stung (even if it's true).
Ben continues, “The whole time he told me this he was grinning, and Jay doesn't grin. That's when I had to meet you. I had to meet the woman that could make Jay Lincoln smile like a lovesick fool.”
My smile lights up my whole face.
“ I didn't think he would ever let himself find his one. I figured he would either die before he got the chance, or he and Arianna would work out some kind of partnership. She's been in love with him since the day she met him and the two of them could never keep their hands off each other, always finding ways to meet up.”
Just like that my smile vanishes. I'm not so sure I want to get personal with him anymore, “Okay, you made your point. I won't ask. I see you don't play fair.”
“You're right, I don't.” Ben stares at me for what feels like eternity. I focus on my food like it's the most fascinating thing ever created. “I'm sorry, Lily. I was being a jerk. I usually try to turn the cards against whoever I'm talking to, always bringing it back around to them.”
“ It's fine,” I mumble, taking a bite of the food that I once found delicious but now tastes like cardboard.
“ Lily,” Ben starts, scooting to the end of the couch and placing his food on the table. “Lily, look at me.”
I don't, not sure if I like this side of Ben (or I guess I should say Vault in this instance).
“Ask me your question, any question you want, and I will answer it,” Vault offers as an apology.
I look at him through my lashes, very tempted by this offer, “You sure? It's about as personal as you can get.”
“Christ,” he mutters, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and sitting back, taking a long sip, unsettled by my words. “Ask. Let's get this over with.”
“ Why don't you blame Jay for your wife's death?” It's something I have wondered numerous times as I reflect back on the things Jay has told me.
Ben looks relieved that this was my big question, “What's the point? Death's the only inevitable thing in life, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon for her.” His shrug comes across as aloof and uncaring, but I watch a mammoth lump travel down from his swallow, stopping halfway as though it got lodged inside, and then he knocks back the rest of his whiskey.
His statement depresses me and his demeanor makes me incredibly sad for him. So far I'm not seeing what's so great about living in Jay's world, especially when death is so easily brushed aside.
Ben gets up to refill his drink, continuing the conversation, his back to me while he does, “Besides, if we hadn't been arguing that night she wouldn't have needed to find a restroom far from the party for privacy. If I hadn't been my usual self-absorbed ass I would have been dancing with her, enjoying her company and infectious laugh. Instead I let her walk away, knowing she was upset and off to cry, knowing I was the reason she was crying, and that I was always the reason she cried.” He turns back around, and for a moment he lets himself show his mourning and sorrow over her loss, “That's just life. It's full of moments that have you analyzing and wondering what could have been, especially when it comes to death. I've been around enough men like Jay to learn it's not worth holding on to that kind of anger. Her death destroyed enough of me, I don't need to let it ruin me.”
What a complex enigma Benedict Cole
“ Lily,” Ben exhales, sounding exasperated, “Do I seem like someone that wants to sit around and gossip with you?”
“ No, not really.”
He's relieved that I understand and goes back to eating.
“So, what'd he say?”
Ben drinks more of his whiskey, trying to hide a grin, “The first day I met you–the day Jay came to me for the dagger–he briefly told me about you. Said you didn't know when to keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.”
Ouch, that kind of stung (even if it's true).
Ben continues, “The whole time he told me this he was grinning, and Jay doesn't grin. That's when I had to meet you. I had to meet the woman that could make Jay Lincoln smile like a lovesick fool.”
My smile lights up my whole face.
“ I didn't think he would ever let himself find his one. I figured he would either die before he got the chance, or he and Arianna would work out some kind of partnership. She's been in love with him since the day she met him and the two of them could never keep their hands off each other, always finding ways to meet up.”
Just like that my smile vanishes. I'm not so sure I want to get personal with him anymore, “Okay, you made your point. I won't ask. I see you don't play fair.”
“You're right, I don't.” Ben stares at me for what feels like eternity. I focus on my food like it's the most fascinating thing ever created. “I'm sorry, Lily. I was being a jerk. I usually try to turn the cards against whoever I'm talking to, always bringing it back around to them.”
“ It's fine,” I mumble, taking a bite of the food that I once found delicious but now tastes like cardboard.
“ Lily,” Ben starts, scooting to the end of the couch and placing his food on the table. “Lily, look at me.”
I don't, not sure if I like this side of Ben (or I guess I should say Vault in this instance).
“Ask me your question, any question you want, and I will answer it,” Vault offers as an apology.
I look at him through my lashes, very tempted by this offer, “You sure? It's about as personal as you can get.”
“Christ,” he mutters, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and sitting back, taking a long sip, unsettled by my words. “Ask. Let's get this over with.”
“ Why don't you blame Jay for your wife's death?” It's something I have wondered numerous times as I reflect back on the things Jay has told me.
Ben looks relieved that this was my big question, “What's the point? Death's the only inevitable thing in life, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon for her.” His shrug comes across as aloof and uncaring, but I watch a mammoth lump travel down from his swallow, stopping halfway as though it got lodged inside, and then he knocks back the rest of his whiskey.
His statement depresses me and his demeanor makes me incredibly sad for him. So far I'm not seeing what's so great about living in Jay's world, especially when death is so easily brushed aside.
Ben gets up to refill his drink, continuing the conversation, his back to me while he does, “Besides, if we hadn't been arguing that night she wouldn't have needed to find a restroom far from the party for privacy. If I hadn't been my usual self-absorbed ass I would have been dancing with her, enjoying her company and infectious laugh. Instead I let her walk away, knowing she was upset and off to cry, knowing I was the reason she was crying, and that I was always the reason she cried.” He turns back around, and for a moment he lets himself show his mourning and sorrow over her loss, “That's just life. It's full of moments that have you analyzing and wondering what could have been, especially when it comes to death. I've been around enough men like Jay to learn it's not worth holding on to that kind of anger. Her death destroyed enough of me, I don't need to let it ruin me.”
What a complex enigma Benedict Cole
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