fucking well know it.” He snarled.
Maybe I did,
maybe I was being a bitch but there was this niggling thing in the
back of my mind that still didn’t believe whatever this was. Was it
real? Part of me expected this entire night to be a dream and where
would that leave me? What if I was imagining having him here with
me and imagining his words earlier that he loved me and I was his
sunshine or whatever? What if it really was my brain that wanted to
hear those words from him but he didn’t actually say them?
“You won’t
have it will you?” he asked after silence had settled between us,
uncomfortable, tense silence.
I continued to
stay silent, not knowing what to say. If I opened my mouth and said
yes, did I mean it? And if I kept my mouth closed, did I mean it? I
was so fucking confused and it didn’t help with the drink in my
system or Sebastian standing there with his hot body on show.
“Look.”
Sebastian grabbed his phone and began fiddling with it again.
“Listen to this and then tell me.” He threw the phone on the bed,
it landing at my side. “I’m going for a shower. Tell me afterwards
if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”
With that
parting cliff-hanger, he walked out of my room, slamming the door
after him making me wince at the sound. I watched as one of my
pound shop pictures fell from the wall, landing on the floor with a
thud.
Oh shit, what
had I done?
I went to
close my eyes and settle back against my pillows when Adele began
to sing next to me. I picked up Sebastian’s iPhone and held it up
in front of me seeing Adele’s 21 album cover and the song playing.
“One and Only”
I did close my
eyes as I held his phone to my chest and listened to Adele sing her
heart out. I listened to every word she said, every word with
meaning. A tear slid from my eye as I listened to her begging for a
chance, a simple chance just to prove herself to the man she wanted
to be with, the man she loved.
Sebastian was
trying to tell me the same thing, wasn’t he? Wasn’t he asking for a
chance? Wasn’t he begging me to take that big step, that leap of
faith and let him inside me, inside my heart because he deserved to
be there? Because he loved me?
He loved
me.
Sebastian
Blackwell loved me, me, Victoria Jennings.
Someone loved
me.
I pushed up
from the bed, ignoring the pounding of my head and raced through to
the living room where I stopped in front of the stereo and searched
frantically for my iPod lead that I knew was around somewhere.
I growled when
my hand hit a pile of old CD’s and they crashed to the floor. I
found the white lead behind them and snatched it up. I plugged it
into the bottom of his iPhone and switched on my stereo only for
the display to announce that it was detecting an unsupported
device.
“You’ve got to
be shitting me.” I slapped my forehead and groaned out loud. That
never happened before.
I wracked my
brains trying to think whether I had any Adele songs on CD. Not
really sure because Jen was always buying me CD’s as gifts, I
dropped down on my knees forgetting that I was butt naked and
searched frantically through my CD collection. CD’s went flying,
cases crashed and smashed, cracking against each other.
My heart was
beating frantically in my chest, pounding against my rib cage. I
tried to get my eyes to focus as I continued to blink at the piles
of them. Finally, I found Adele’s face on the front of an album. I
picked up the CD and quickly turned it around, scanning the back of
the case and saw the song near the bottom. I could have cried.
Hallelujah.
My hands shook
uncontrollably as I got the CD from the case only for it to drop to
the floor. I scratched at the roundness of the CD trying to pick it
up from the floor but my nails couldn’t grasp it.
“Damn it, not
now.” My nails were so getting cut down after this. I
gritted my teeth and nearly bent the thing in half as I scraped it
up from the floor and jabbed the button on the stereo
Maybe I did,
maybe I was being a bitch but there was this niggling thing in the
back of my mind that still didn’t believe whatever this was. Was it
real? Part of me expected this entire night to be a dream and where
would that leave me? What if I was imagining having him here with
me and imagining his words earlier that he loved me and I was his
sunshine or whatever? What if it really was my brain that wanted to
hear those words from him but he didn’t actually say them?
“You won’t
have it will you?” he asked after silence had settled between us,
uncomfortable, tense silence.
I continued to
stay silent, not knowing what to say. If I opened my mouth and said
yes, did I mean it? And if I kept my mouth closed, did I mean it? I
was so fucking confused and it didn’t help with the drink in my
system or Sebastian standing there with his hot body on show.
“Look.”
Sebastian grabbed his phone and began fiddling with it again.
“Listen to this and then tell me.” He threw the phone on the bed,
it landing at my side. “I’m going for a shower. Tell me afterwards
if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”
With that
parting cliff-hanger, he walked out of my room, slamming the door
after him making me wince at the sound. I watched as one of my
pound shop pictures fell from the wall, landing on the floor with a
thud.
Oh shit, what
had I done?
I went to
close my eyes and settle back against my pillows when Adele began
to sing next to me. I picked up Sebastian’s iPhone and held it up
in front of me seeing Adele’s 21 album cover and the song playing.
“One and Only”
I did close my
eyes as I held his phone to my chest and listened to Adele sing her
heart out. I listened to every word she said, every word with
meaning. A tear slid from my eye as I listened to her begging for a
chance, a simple chance just to prove herself to the man she wanted
to be with, the man she loved.
Sebastian was
trying to tell me the same thing, wasn’t he? Wasn’t he asking for a
chance? Wasn’t he begging me to take that big step, that leap of
faith and let him inside me, inside my heart because he deserved to
be there? Because he loved me?
He loved
me.
Sebastian
Blackwell loved me, me, Victoria Jennings.
Someone loved
me.
I pushed up
from the bed, ignoring the pounding of my head and raced through to
the living room where I stopped in front of the stereo and searched
frantically for my iPod lead that I knew was around somewhere.
I growled when
my hand hit a pile of old CD’s and they crashed to the floor. I
found the white lead behind them and snatched it up. I plugged it
into the bottom of his iPhone and switched on my stereo only for
the display to announce that it was detecting an unsupported
device.
“You’ve got to
be shitting me.” I slapped my forehead and groaned out loud. That
never happened before.
I wracked my
brains trying to think whether I had any Adele songs on CD. Not
really sure because Jen was always buying me CD’s as gifts, I
dropped down on my knees forgetting that I was butt naked and
searched frantically through my CD collection. CD’s went flying,
cases crashed and smashed, cracking against each other.
My heart was
beating frantically in my chest, pounding against my rib cage. I
tried to get my eyes to focus as I continued to blink at the piles
of them. Finally, I found Adele’s face on the front of an album. I
picked up the CD and quickly turned it around, scanning the back of
the case and saw the song near the bottom. I could have cried.
Hallelujah.
My hands shook
uncontrollably as I got the CD from the case only for it to drop to
the floor. I scratched at the roundness of the CD trying to pick it
up from the floor but my nails couldn’t grasp it.
“Damn it, not
now.” My nails were so getting cut down after this. I
gritted my teeth and nearly bent the thing in half as I scraped it
up from the floor and jabbed the button on the stereo
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