âDoes that mean not at all?â
I couldnât tell a lie. âYes.â
Mrs. Stockton seemed to be sighing, but not in an impatient way. In a sad, hopeless way. âWould it be fair to say youâre clutching at straws because youâre so sad about having to leave?â she asked.
My mouth felt suddenly dry as I repeated that phrase, clutching at straws , silently to myself. Yes, I could easily work out what it meant. I tried to swallow but my throat was hurting.
I couldnât answer so I nodded and looked down and then felt Mrs. Stocktonâs hand holding mine.
âI think you need to start by having a frank conversation with your parents about languages. If you truly think you might want to follow this kind of a career when you finish your education, then of course, youâre right, it is important to be bi- or tri-lingual, and certainly English is the language youâd need most.â
I nodded, wondering when I would possibly be able to have this conversation with Papà , and just as though Mrs. Stockton had read my mind, she asked me when I was next seeing my dad.
âEr, heâs coming to the Forest Ash Italian evening tomorrow. Heâs doing the cooking.â
âWell, I think the sooner you talk to him, the better. But I hope you understand Iâm stepping out of my role as your teacher here, Antonia, and just giving you the kind of advice that I think anyone would give you.â
âYes, I understandâ¦â I said quietly, as I wondered to myself whether or not I might be able to see Papà after school today instead of waiting till he came to do the cooking. Then something else jumped into my mind. âWould you be able to come to our Italian evening, Mrs. Stockton?â I asked impulsively. âI mean, then you might be able to speak to my dad, if Iâve already talked to him a bit about languages and wanting to be an interpreter and everything?â
Mrs. Stockton leaned back in her chair and gave me a sorrowful look. âIâm sorry, Antonia, but Iâm away this weekend. Iâve got a christeningâ¦â
My throat felt even tighter then, because my last hope had just died. âWell, thank you anyway,â I managed to mumble as I got up.
âHereâ¦let meâ¦â Mrs. Stocktonâs chair made a loud scraping noise then toppled backwards, because sheâd got up so quickly to get me my crutches. âIâm sorry I havenât been much help.â
âItâs okay, Iâll talk to Papà about languages andâ¦everything.â
âYes, do that. Itâs a good point. I hope he gives itâ¦consideration.â
I was at the door by then. âThank you,â I said again.
Mrs. Stockton smiled, but still with the sorrowful look on her face so it wasnât really a proper smile, and patted me on the back. âAll the best, Antonia.â
And I realized as I went outside to join the others that this was her way of saying goodbye.
So then those tears that Iâd been holding back filled my eyes and started to roll down my cheeks.
Chapter Nine
âEeet ees a â come si dice, cara? Si , eet ees a transformation!â
Mamma was using her English and it was so funny to hear it when Iâd only ever heard her talking in Italian before. She was in the chair by my bed in Emerald dorm, admiring Emilyâs hair. Nicole and I were actually sitting on my bed, all dressed up and ready for the evening to start, and the others were still rushing around doing their hair and adding the final touches to their outfits.
All my packing, except for last-minute things, was done. Mamma had done most of it, because I couldnât do it very well with one leg and one hand out of action. My friends had stood round watching in a trembling silence, passing things occasionally, but mainly just staring. At one point I saw Sasha put her arm round Nicole and I deliberately didnât look, but I think
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