waitress over.
I raised my glass to Father Killarney, but he was too busy chugging down his pint like a frat boy in a shotgunning contest.
“Hey! Hey! Slow down, Father. I’m putting this meal on my AmEx and my credit limit isn’t that high.”
The old priest wiped off his lips with the back of his hand and set down his glass with resolute finality, “I told you I would tell you about your uncle, so it’s time you heard the truth and all of it.”
It was not exactly the turn in the conversation I had expected after telling the guy not to run up my bar tab, but shoot, whatever worked. Killian and I leaned forward in unison, a regular set of Frick and Frack.
“Your uncle and your father were two of the finest boys I’ve ever known. I knew them since they were knee high to a potato.” He ran his finger aside his nose like he was Paul Fucking Newman and this was some big secret that now made us a part of his special club, “I didn’t always live on this side of the border, you know. I baptized those boys. Oh, they were full of mischief. Exactly how two boys should be. Completely devoted to their duties and their ma, though.
“Then came the day that their gifts woke. I had always suspected, but didn’t want to say anything. Your father had more talent than Ulrich. It’s a hard thing for a first born to be outstripped by the second. Ulrich started to think if he just worked hard enough, he could make himself a match for your father on the playing field.”
Father Killarney leaned back, lost in memories, “And sure enough, he almost did. Unfortunately, rather than learning the skills from the light, someone planted a bug in your uncle’s ear about the dark magic. Told him he could have all the power he could want, it wouldn’t take much work at all. He just had to make peace with spilling a bit of blood. They started him off easy enough, killing things mercifully, but that monster grew. Pretty soon he was thinking it would be all right to kill people, and kill them in ways not fit for your worst enemy.
“Your uncle had decided humans had no more soul than a rabbit or a cow. It made the killing easier. When your father realized what he was doing, it was the end. Your father hoped that maybe someday your uncle would come back to us, but then your father fell in love with your mother. Oh, that made Ulrich angry. Your uncle felt it was akin to marrying a goat. He crossed over to wipe your mother from the face of God’s green Earth.”
Father Killarney stared into the bottom of his empty pint, “Fortunately, your uncle couldn’t make portals from this world back to the Other Side. He didn’t have the inner power. And your father had enough clout to ban Ulrich from the legal portals. So, he was trapped. Your father hoped to keep him here long enough for his head to cool, but then your uncle disappeared and there was no finding him. Your father always believed he must have traveled east, to places where they have maintained the studies of magic and mysticism.”
I pulled out the little baggie with the bracelet I lifted off of the ghoul.
“Could he have been working on this?” I asked.
Father Killarney let out a low whistle.
“Well, that’s definitely not a tool for the Lord’s work,” remarked Sister Magdalena dryly.
Father Killarney picked up the baggie with the tine of his fork, holding it out like a stinky polecat skin, “No, he was most definitely not working on this. Dear child, you’d best to be getting rid of this unholy charm as fast as humanly possible.”
“Why? What does it do?”
“It is an old magic from the Other Side,” Sister Magdalena explained, “It lets the evil undead walk in sunshine.”
“Wait, you’re telling me that if some nasty gets around to wearing this, the world’s olly- olly-oxen-free is offline?”
“I am afraid with this bracelet, there are no longer any timeouts,” said Father Killarney.
I raised my glass to Father Killarney, but he was too busy chugging down his pint like a frat boy in a shotgunning contest.
“Hey! Hey! Slow down, Father. I’m putting this meal on my AmEx and my credit limit isn’t that high.”
The old priest wiped off his lips with the back of his hand and set down his glass with resolute finality, “I told you I would tell you about your uncle, so it’s time you heard the truth and all of it.”
It was not exactly the turn in the conversation I had expected after telling the guy not to run up my bar tab, but shoot, whatever worked. Killian and I leaned forward in unison, a regular set of Frick and Frack.
“Your uncle and your father were two of the finest boys I’ve ever known. I knew them since they were knee high to a potato.” He ran his finger aside his nose like he was Paul Fucking Newman and this was some big secret that now made us a part of his special club, “I didn’t always live on this side of the border, you know. I baptized those boys. Oh, they were full of mischief. Exactly how two boys should be. Completely devoted to their duties and their ma, though.
“Then came the day that their gifts woke. I had always suspected, but didn’t want to say anything. Your father had more talent than Ulrich. It’s a hard thing for a first born to be outstripped by the second. Ulrich started to think if he just worked hard enough, he could make himself a match for your father on the playing field.”
Father Killarney leaned back, lost in memories, “And sure enough, he almost did. Unfortunately, rather than learning the skills from the light, someone planted a bug in your uncle’s ear about the dark magic. Told him he could have all the power he could want, it wouldn’t take much work at all. He just had to make peace with spilling a bit of blood. They started him off easy enough, killing things mercifully, but that monster grew. Pretty soon he was thinking it would be all right to kill people, and kill them in ways not fit for your worst enemy.
“Your uncle had decided humans had no more soul than a rabbit or a cow. It made the killing easier. When your father realized what he was doing, it was the end. Your father hoped that maybe someday your uncle would come back to us, but then your father fell in love with your mother. Oh, that made Ulrich angry. Your uncle felt it was akin to marrying a goat. He crossed over to wipe your mother from the face of God’s green Earth.”
Father Killarney stared into the bottom of his empty pint, “Fortunately, your uncle couldn’t make portals from this world back to the Other Side. He didn’t have the inner power. And your father had enough clout to ban Ulrich from the legal portals. So, he was trapped. Your father hoped to keep him here long enough for his head to cool, but then your uncle disappeared and there was no finding him. Your father always believed he must have traveled east, to places where they have maintained the studies of magic and mysticism.”
I pulled out the little baggie with the bracelet I lifted off of the ghoul.
“Could he have been working on this?” I asked.
Father Killarney let out a low whistle.
“Well, that’s definitely not a tool for the Lord’s work,” remarked Sister Magdalena dryly.
Father Killarney picked up the baggie with the tine of his fork, holding it out like a stinky polecat skin, “No, he was most definitely not working on this. Dear child, you’d best to be getting rid of this unholy charm as fast as humanly possible.”
“Why? What does it do?”
“It is an old magic from the Other Side,” Sister Magdalena explained, “It lets the evil undead walk in sunshine.”
“Wait, you’re telling me that if some nasty gets around to wearing this, the world’s olly- olly-oxen-free is offline?”
“I am afraid with this bracelet, there are no longer any timeouts,” said Father Killarney.
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