Lucky at Cards by Lawrence Block Page A

What’s the real reason?”
    I didn’t answer her.
    “You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “I can figure it out. You’ve had a taste of respectable life and you like the flavor. You’re a salesman for Perry Carver. Or don’t you call yourself a salesman? Maybe you prefer to think of yourself as an investment counselor.”
    “Joyce—”
    “You play cards with the upper middle-class and you don’t even cheat. You go out with a brain-dead schoolteacher—yes, I heard about your new love, honey. You go out with her and think about marriage and respectability and what a cushy little life it will be. Are you going to marry her, Wizard? Are you going to settle down in the suburbs like an All-American success story?”
    I said, “Stop it.”
    “The hell I’ll stop it! You’re such a goddamned fool, Wizard. It’s a kick now, isn’t it? It was a kick for me, too. I didn’t just marry Murray for his money. I wanted a house with a lawn and a backyard. I wanted people to look at me without wetting their lips and wondering how much it would cost. Oh, it’s fine for the first little while. It’s a brand-new way to live. But it changes. It turns sour. It gets so damned dull you could scream.
    “It doesn’t work, Wizard. It doesn’t work because it’s a lie, a stupid lie front to back. You wind up wasting your life on a bunch of fatheaded squares who don’t speak your language or think your thoughts. You shape yourself over and try to convince yourself you’ve managed to change inside, and then one day you wake up and realize you never changed at all and you’re a very round peg stuck in the squarest hole on earth. Your little schoolteacher won’t be much fun then. Your little job will be the biggest bore since Maynard the Magnificent. And if you think I’m going to let you blow a damned good chance for both of us you’ve got to be out of your mind.”
    There was more. It went on like that, and I sat there telling her she was wrong and trying to make myself believe it. Maybe the good life hadn’t worked for her. It could still work for me. I had floated into the gray world of the card mechanic pretty much by accident, and I could float out just as easily and just as accidentally. I didn’t feel that much of a commitment to dishonesty.
    But she had another argument, and it was more persuasive. She stood up and planted herself in front of me, and before she delivered it she put her hands at the sides of her breasts and ran them slowly down the length of her body. Then she grinned at me.
    “You can’t get out,” she said.
    “Why not?”
    “Because I’ll damn well ruin you. Do you think Perry Carver would keep a crook on his payroll? Do you think Sy and Murray and the others would want a card sharp in their game? And they would find out, Wizard. I’d make sure they found out. Your new friends wouldn’t have any use for you. Neither would your new little lost love. Are you laying that schoolteacher, Wizard?”
    I didn’t mean to slap her. My hand moved by itself, rising fast and landing over her left cheekbone. She reeled backward and for a moment I thought she was going to fall over. But she only smiled.
    “You can have the teacher,” Joyce said levelly. “You can keep your job. Some day you’ll wake up, but you can sleep as long as you want, if that’s the way you want it. But first you’re going to take care of Murray for me.”
    She didn’t wait for an answer. She turned on her heel and stamped out of my apartment, hopped into her car, took off fast enough to leave a rubber patch on the street outside.
    It must have been around five-thirty when Joyce left. I had a few drinks after that. I went out for a bite, ate a third of a hamburger and left the rest. It didn’t taste right. I don’t suppose there was anything wrong with the hamburger. It just didn’t taste right.
    So I went back to my place and had a few more drinks and I stared at the onionskin letters some more and looked at the