because he’s at the sink and his back is toward me, but I can tell that not even an ounce of his anger has dissipated by the way his back muscles are bulging because of how hard he’s scrubbing the already clean plate in his hands.
When the silence continues, I decide the best course of action is to busy myself while he calms down. Which is what I’m about to do when he turns around. “You’re right.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask. I’m confused by what he means by that, but the hostility in his voice doesn’t give me hopes that this conversation is going to be dropped anytime soon.
“You’re right. It wasn’t any of your business.” I flinch involuntarily at his words and the desire to run and hide grows stronger. “But now you brought it up, I guess we’ll talk about it. Yes, I had a drinking problem, but it’s fine now. It’s all under control, so you don’t have to worry about my fucked up problems tarnishing your perfect life.”
“I didn’t think that at all!” I can feel my own anger growing. Why would he even think that was a thought in my head? I’m nearly blinded with irritation. “My life has nothing to do with me bringing this up. I was only worried about you—”
“Well, thanks, but I don’t need you to worry about me. Just worry about yourself.”
I can’t decide if I want to throw something at him or just cry. Honestly, I don’t know what happened between earlier and now.
“That’s fine. I’ll worry about myself and you can worry about you,” I snap, turn on my heels, and storm out of the kitchen, heading toward the room I saw him put my bags in.
“Where are you going?”
“Home!” I yell over my shoulder.
“The hell you are! Not until I get that security system put in!”
Before I can prevent it, a bitter laugh escapes me and I turn around to face him. He stops walking and gets a, dare I say, scared look when he sees me stomp toward him.
I don’t even know what came over me. I just know that today, my library was broken into and vandalized, I was threatened twice in the matter of a few days, and now Phoenix, a man who has always been nothing but nice to me, is telling me, in so many words, to bug off!
“Listen here, bub!” I hiss and poke him in the shoulder. “You may think because you’re massive, covered in tats, and gorgeous that you can talk to me however you want. You may be used to ordering people around and seeing them scatter to please you, but that’s not going to happen with me! You ruining what you may see as my perfect life was not a thought to me, and the fact you would even suggest that quite frankly makes you an ass. I was asking because I was concerned and wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it. It’s not like I was looking for this information on you. It fell into my lap. I was trying to do the adult thing and come to you and ask you about it instead of just assuming this and that. My mistake. I now know not to do that again. Right now, I’m doing as you said and worrying about myself and my home. If or when I get a security system is my worry, not yours, so I’m grabbing my bags and my fish and leaving!”
I make my way to the bedroom.
“Just wait, please,” he pleads in a much softer voice then he was using earlier. Too bad it’s a little late. I’m still irate and now embarrassed about how I went off. All I want is to climb into my own bed and go to sleep, maybe wake up tomorrow and find all of this was just a dream.
“Please, baby. Let’s just talk about this. You know it’s not safe to go back to your house right now. I swear, just hear me out and then if you still don’t want to be anywhere near me, you can sleep in the other room and I won’t bother you again.”
“The time to talk was twenty minutes ago.”
I try to hold on to my anger because I know as long as I’m angry, I won’t be sad, but I’m holding on in vain. The sadness comes anyway. I know he can hear the tears in my voice.
When I shove the last
When the silence continues, I decide the best course of action is to busy myself while he calms down. Which is what I’m about to do when he turns around. “You’re right.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask. I’m confused by what he means by that, but the hostility in his voice doesn’t give me hopes that this conversation is going to be dropped anytime soon.
“You’re right. It wasn’t any of your business.” I flinch involuntarily at his words and the desire to run and hide grows stronger. “But now you brought it up, I guess we’ll talk about it. Yes, I had a drinking problem, but it’s fine now. It’s all under control, so you don’t have to worry about my fucked up problems tarnishing your perfect life.”
“I didn’t think that at all!” I can feel my own anger growing. Why would he even think that was a thought in my head? I’m nearly blinded with irritation. “My life has nothing to do with me bringing this up. I was only worried about you—”
“Well, thanks, but I don’t need you to worry about me. Just worry about yourself.”
I can’t decide if I want to throw something at him or just cry. Honestly, I don’t know what happened between earlier and now.
“That’s fine. I’ll worry about myself and you can worry about you,” I snap, turn on my heels, and storm out of the kitchen, heading toward the room I saw him put my bags in.
“Where are you going?”
“Home!” I yell over my shoulder.
“The hell you are! Not until I get that security system put in!”
Before I can prevent it, a bitter laugh escapes me and I turn around to face him. He stops walking and gets a, dare I say, scared look when he sees me stomp toward him.
I don’t even know what came over me. I just know that today, my library was broken into and vandalized, I was threatened twice in the matter of a few days, and now Phoenix, a man who has always been nothing but nice to me, is telling me, in so many words, to bug off!
“Listen here, bub!” I hiss and poke him in the shoulder. “You may think because you’re massive, covered in tats, and gorgeous that you can talk to me however you want. You may be used to ordering people around and seeing them scatter to please you, but that’s not going to happen with me! You ruining what you may see as my perfect life was not a thought to me, and the fact you would even suggest that quite frankly makes you an ass. I was asking because I was concerned and wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it. It’s not like I was looking for this information on you. It fell into my lap. I was trying to do the adult thing and come to you and ask you about it instead of just assuming this and that. My mistake. I now know not to do that again. Right now, I’m doing as you said and worrying about myself and my home. If or when I get a security system is my worry, not yours, so I’m grabbing my bags and my fish and leaving!”
I make my way to the bedroom.
“Just wait, please,” he pleads in a much softer voice then he was using earlier. Too bad it’s a little late. I’m still irate and now embarrassed about how I went off. All I want is to climb into my own bed and go to sleep, maybe wake up tomorrow and find all of this was just a dream.
“Please, baby. Let’s just talk about this. You know it’s not safe to go back to your house right now. I swear, just hear me out and then if you still don’t want to be anywhere near me, you can sleep in the other room and I won’t bother you again.”
“The time to talk was twenty minutes ago.”
I try to hold on to my anger because I know as long as I’m angry, I won’t be sad, but I’m holding on in vain. The sadness comes anyway. I know he can hear the tears in my voice.
When I shove the last
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