Love, Nina by Nina Stibbe

brother.
    Teacher: Carry on, “My brother…”
    C: My brother…is an English idiot?
    That got us talking about idioms and phrases and so on.
    Sam: Every cloud has a silver outline.
    Will: Lining.
    Sam: Oh yes, beg your pardon.
    Will: Anyway, I don’t believe every cloud has a silver lining.
    MK: Why?
    Will: They don’t.
    MK: But philosophically?
    Will: No, some things are 100 percent total shit.
    I kept quiet during all this because I’ve never got the hang of idioms, proverbs, phrases, adverbs, etc.
    Then we were saying how some people are friendly and some grumpy and horrible. S&W and me saying some people just are grumpy by nature, MK saying most people are OK.
    MK: People are only horrible if they’re hungry or unhappy.
    Will: That could be anyone.
    MK: Yes.
    Will: Everyone.
    MK: Yes.
    Will: At any time.
    MK: Yes.
    Sam: They just need a banana.
    MK: Exactly.
    Love, Nina
    *  *  *
    Dear Vic,
    Syllabus news: Me and Nunney have moved on to A Winter’s Tale , a comedy by W. Shakespeare. It’s ridiculous and more annoying than The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy. A bloke imagines his wife has been unfaithful with his friend so he banishes her and she apparently dies. He soon realizes he made a mistake and is miserable for sixteen years—till the wife comes back to life.
    Saw Nunney on a bench near the top of Primrose Hill all wrapped up in a big coat reading a book. I was pleased to see him until I saw he wasn’t reading A Winter’s Tale by William Shakespeare—as per the syllabus—but a book called One Hundred Years of Solitude.
    Me: ( shocked ) That’s not on the syllabus.
    Nunney: No, I know. Susan recommended it—it’s very good.
    Me: So are you not going to bother with A Winter’s Tale, then?
    N: Of course I’m going to bother, but I’m reading other things too.
    Me: Fine.
    Leaving the park (mardy) I saw Pippa. She’s looking after a dog called Charles. Pippa told me about an incontrovertible law that states this type of dog (King Charles Spaniel) is allowed the freedom of the land and can go wherever they want, even if no (other) dogs are allowed. I remarked that Amanda’s family have the same type of dog only a bit older and she has never mentioned this special spaniel law. Pippa said it’s up to the individual owner/handler to assert their rights (or not).
    Pippa: So no one can ask me to remove Charles from this park.
    Me: But dogs are allowed on Primrose Hill.
    Pippa: Yes, but even if they weren’t, Charles would be.
    Me: But they are.
    Pippa: I know.
    Me: Sounds like you want to take him where no dogs are allowed.
    Pippa: Yeah, but where?
    Told Mary-Kay about Pippa being keen to assert Charles the spaniel’s right to go wherever he wants. MK said it was understandable. MK’s very understanding of unreasonable behavior but quick to judge other types. MK told us about a bloke she knew who would leave his wallet around in cafés hoping someone would try to nick it so he could defend it. She was understanding about that too, saying sometimes people just want something to happen and that’s not always easy these days.
    Carol from C— College has written a supportive letter: “Dear A Level Student (Eng Lit).” The letter suggests that remote A level students read some poems by Thomas Hardy (to help us “understand the man behind the pen” with a view to understanding the novel on the syllabus). And says that much reading beyond the set texts (syllabus) is supportive of a student’s learning of the texts.
    I was a bit annoyed to read this. I thought it was just the syllabus, now it turns out we’ve got to read lots of other stuff connected with the five different authors as well. Fuck. I’m not going to get anything else done in life.
    Got some of Hardy’s poems out of Holborn library as per the letter. Most of them are rubbish and do not help me understand him.