Jason managed to cover her hands with his before she could press it.
He could barely get the words out “There is no more baby, Vicky.”
“Don’t…don’t say that! Just call the doctor. They can fix this!”
Jason held her tighter. “Not this time. They can’t fix this…I can’t fix this. Our son fought hard but he didn’t make it.”
Vicky’s scream didn’t sound human. It was deep and guttural. Jason understood it because he felt the pain too. All he could do was just rock her back and forth as she let the pain flow from her body.
Chapter 19
The flowers in the garden always seemed to give Vicky a small sense of peace. She sat in the middle of it on a swing surrounded by all the colorful blooms. Being out in the sunshine surrounded by such beauty sometimes worked to dull the ache in her heart. However, some days she wasn’t even sure how she managed to get out of bed.
It had been a little over a month since they’d lost her little boy, Jason Kincaid Rutherford, Jr. The loss had been hard on everybody, especially, Jason.
The emergency custody hearing had to be postponed because of it. It was rescheduled for the next three weeks. The prying eyes of strangers trying to pull back the curtain of her life during this time was just too much.
Vicky was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t hear Sandy when she approached and sat down next to her.
“I can’t get over how beautiful this garden is.”
“Mmm…yes it is. When did you get in?”
“My plane got in a couple of hours ago. But, I’ve been here for about an hour. Your mother in law and aunt were talking my ear off. You know they’re worried about you…and Jason.”
Vicky signed, “I know. I really appreciate their concern. But, it would be nice if Jason and I could have some time alone.”
“Silence can be a great gift. But, sometimes it can be too loud. We just want to make sure whatever you need we’re here for you. Where is he anyway?”
Vicky understood the concern but she still wished everyone didn’t look at her with such pity. “He flew out to CkR Int’l a couple of days ago.”
“He’s keeping himself busy?”
“Too busy; I’m not sure he’s giving himself any real time to grieve and if he’s not consulting with the lawyers about Angel then he’s working. And, the worst part is no one can understand the pain he feels like I do. I want to share it with him but he’s shutting me out.”
“How do you mean?”
“He’ll fly out to CkR at a moment’s notice. Whereas, before he’d try to work via conference calls or Skype. Now, he’s barely here. When he is home, he makes sure to be gone when I wake up in the morning or he waits until I’m asleep before he comes to bed at night. And, if I do get a chance to see him throughout the day it’s mostly him making sure I don’t need anything. He’s avoiding me. ”
“Come on Vicky don’t be ridiculous. He’s hurting too. Men grieve differently than we do. I mean why would he be avoiding you? He adores you.”
Vicky wiped away a single tear that managed to escape. “I think maybe…he blames me for losing the baby.”
“What? That’s crazy talk. See, this is what I mean about silence being too loud. Sometimes it gives you too much time to think about things that don’t exist.”
Vicky shook her head, “You’re wrong Sandy. He won’t look me in the eye. He won’t even let me touch him. On the rare chance we get to lie in bed together, if I try to rub his arm or lay close to him, somehow he manages to break the contact.”
“Maybe you’re right but only about the needing to talk part.”
Vicky gave her a shaky smile then closed her eyes and thought back to a happier time in her life. She was nine, the sun was warm on her face, and shining brightly just like today. She could hear her mother’s laugh as she pushed Vicky on the swings. It was if she were standing right there next to her. Vicky began to sway on the swings just as she did on that day
He could barely get the words out “There is no more baby, Vicky.”
“Don’t…don’t say that! Just call the doctor. They can fix this!”
Jason held her tighter. “Not this time. They can’t fix this…I can’t fix this. Our son fought hard but he didn’t make it.”
Vicky’s scream didn’t sound human. It was deep and guttural. Jason understood it because he felt the pain too. All he could do was just rock her back and forth as she let the pain flow from her body.
Chapter 19
The flowers in the garden always seemed to give Vicky a small sense of peace. She sat in the middle of it on a swing surrounded by all the colorful blooms. Being out in the sunshine surrounded by such beauty sometimes worked to dull the ache in her heart. However, some days she wasn’t even sure how she managed to get out of bed.
It had been a little over a month since they’d lost her little boy, Jason Kincaid Rutherford, Jr. The loss had been hard on everybody, especially, Jason.
The emergency custody hearing had to be postponed because of it. It was rescheduled for the next three weeks. The prying eyes of strangers trying to pull back the curtain of her life during this time was just too much.
Vicky was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t hear Sandy when she approached and sat down next to her.
“I can’t get over how beautiful this garden is.”
“Mmm…yes it is. When did you get in?”
“My plane got in a couple of hours ago. But, I’ve been here for about an hour. Your mother in law and aunt were talking my ear off. You know they’re worried about you…and Jason.”
Vicky signed, “I know. I really appreciate their concern. But, it would be nice if Jason and I could have some time alone.”
“Silence can be a great gift. But, sometimes it can be too loud. We just want to make sure whatever you need we’re here for you. Where is he anyway?”
Vicky understood the concern but she still wished everyone didn’t look at her with such pity. “He flew out to CkR Int’l a couple of days ago.”
“He’s keeping himself busy?”
“Too busy; I’m not sure he’s giving himself any real time to grieve and if he’s not consulting with the lawyers about Angel then he’s working. And, the worst part is no one can understand the pain he feels like I do. I want to share it with him but he’s shutting me out.”
“How do you mean?”
“He’ll fly out to CkR at a moment’s notice. Whereas, before he’d try to work via conference calls or Skype. Now, he’s barely here. When he is home, he makes sure to be gone when I wake up in the morning or he waits until I’m asleep before he comes to bed at night. And, if I do get a chance to see him throughout the day it’s mostly him making sure I don’t need anything. He’s avoiding me. ”
“Come on Vicky don’t be ridiculous. He’s hurting too. Men grieve differently than we do. I mean why would he be avoiding you? He adores you.”
Vicky wiped away a single tear that managed to escape. “I think maybe…he blames me for losing the baby.”
“What? That’s crazy talk. See, this is what I mean about silence being too loud. Sometimes it gives you too much time to think about things that don’t exist.”
Vicky shook her head, “You’re wrong Sandy. He won’t look me in the eye. He won’t even let me touch him. On the rare chance we get to lie in bed together, if I try to rub his arm or lay close to him, somehow he manages to break the contact.”
“Maybe you’re right but only about the needing to talk part.”
Vicky gave her a shaky smile then closed her eyes and thought back to a happier time in her life. She was nine, the sun was warm on her face, and shining brightly just like today. She could hear her mother’s laugh as she pushed Vicky on the swings. It was if she were standing right there next to her. Vicky began to sway on the swings just as she did on that day
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