It wouldn’t do any good and would quite possibly arouse her mother’s suspicions. Knowing Virginia, Ellie accepted that there wasn’t anything Tom could say or do that would appease her.
“Even now I miss my mother,” Tom said, looking thoughtful. “She’s been gone ten years now. I was in my late teens when she died. Her death changed the course of my life.”
“I’m sorry.” Ellie probably didn’t appreciate her mother nearly enough, but lately that had been difficult. Virginia was much too refined to argue verbally with Ellie, but her disapproval was evident in nearly every way imaginable.
“For a long time my dad was an emotional mess. Mom died unexpectedly. One minute she was fine and the next moment, she grabbed her head and collapsed. She was gone within a few hours. We were all left in a state of shock.
“Dad blamed himself. Although there was nothing he could have done, he thinks he should have been able to help her somehow. He’s filled with regrets, and it isn’t just about what happened to Mom.”
“I never knew my dad,” Ellie whispered. She set her spoon aside as a deep sense of sadness settled over her. “He and my mother divorced before I have any memories of him.”
“You never had any contact with him following their divorce?”
“Never.”
Tom’s face tightened.
“I think the marriage was so bad that he was looking to put it all behind him.”
“By
everything
, do you mean you, too?” Tom asked this as though he found the suggestion seriously wrong.
In reality, Ellie couldn’t blame her father, but she had missed knowing him.
“Have you ever thought about reaching out to him?” Tom asked.
When she was in grade school and later as a preteen she’d wanted to write him a letter, but her mother claimed she had no idea where he lived or how to reach him. “I did want to find him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Mom claimed he didn’t want anything more to do with us. He’d moved on with his life and so had she.”
Tom shook his head as if he found that hard to believe. “You must have missed having a father.”
She lowered her gaze. It was as if Tom had read her heart. At various times in her youth, she’d yearned to know her father, dreamed of what it would be like to have him in her life. As young as she’d been when he left, she wondered if she might have been part of the reason. Perhaps she’d been a cranky baby. Her mother once told Ellie how she’d cried and cried with colic, keeping her parents awake all hours of the night.
“I think I might have been a difficult baby.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything?”
Clenching her hands together, Ellie stared down at the table and tried to smile. “I might have turned him off fatherhood.”
“To the point he’d abandon you?” Tom asked incredulously. “You’re joking, right?”
Ellie lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know what else to think.” The subject depressed her and she preferred not to discuss it. “Do you mind if we talk about something else?” she asked.
“Of course.” He seemed to regret bringing up the subject.
Soon afterward their entrées arrived, and everything was delicious. The conversation drifted easily from one subject to the next. It helped that they’d become familiar with each other through email, phone calls, and social media. These first meetings could be awkward and uncomfortable, yet Ellie felt completely at ease with Tom.
After dinner, Tom suggested a movie and Ellie agreed. Because the next showing wasn’t for more than an hour, they decided to walk along the waterfront. The night was lovely, with a slight breeze blowing off the cove. Earlier, Jo Marie had suggested Ellie bring a cardigan, and she was glad she’d taken her advice.
“Let me help,” Tom offered, taking the sweater out of her hand and holding it while she slipped her arms into the sleeves. He brought it up to her shoulders and let his hands linger there. Of her own
“Even now I miss my mother,” Tom said, looking thoughtful. “She’s been gone ten years now. I was in my late teens when she died. Her death changed the course of my life.”
“I’m sorry.” Ellie probably didn’t appreciate her mother nearly enough, but lately that had been difficult. Virginia was much too refined to argue verbally with Ellie, but her disapproval was evident in nearly every way imaginable.
“For a long time my dad was an emotional mess. Mom died unexpectedly. One minute she was fine and the next moment, she grabbed her head and collapsed. She was gone within a few hours. We were all left in a state of shock.
“Dad blamed himself. Although there was nothing he could have done, he thinks he should have been able to help her somehow. He’s filled with regrets, and it isn’t just about what happened to Mom.”
“I never knew my dad,” Ellie whispered. She set her spoon aside as a deep sense of sadness settled over her. “He and my mother divorced before I have any memories of him.”
“You never had any contact with him following their divorce?”
“Never.”
Tom’s face tightened.
“I think the marriage was so bad that he was looking to put it all behind him.”
“By
everything
, do you mean you, too?” Tom asked this as though he found the suggestion seriously wrong.
In reality, Ellie couldn’t blame her father, but she had missed knowing him.
“Have you ever thought about reaching out to him?” Tom asked.
When she was in grade school and later as a preteen she’d wanted to write him a letter, but her mother claimed she had no idea where he lived or how to reach him. “I did want to find him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Mom claimed he didn’t want anything more to do with us. He’d moved on with his life and so had she.”
Tom shook his head as if he found that hard to believe. “You must have missed having a father.”
She lowered her gaze. It was as if Tom had read her heart. At various times in her youth, she’d yearned to know her father, dreamed of what it would be like to have him in her life. As young as she’d been when he left, she wondered if she might have been part of the reason. Perhaps she’d been a cranky baby. Her mother once told Ellie how she’d cried and cried with colic, keeping her parents awake all hours of the night.
“I think I might have been a difficult baby.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything?”
Clenching her hands together, Ellie stared down at the table and tried to smile. “I might have turned him off fatherhood.”
“To the point he’d abandon you?” Tom asked incredulously. “You’re joking, right?”
Ellie lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know what else to think.” The subject depressed her and she preferred not to discuss it. “Do you mind if we talk about something else?” she asked.
“Of course.” He seemed to regret bringing up the subject.
Soon afterward their entrées arrived, and everything was delicious. The conversation drifted easily from one subject to the next. It helped that they’d become familiar with each other through email, phone calls, and social media. These first meetings could be awkward and uncomfortable, yet Ellie felt completely at ease with Tom.
After dinner, Tom suggested a movie and Ellie agreed. Because the next showing wasn’t for more than an hour, they decided to walk along the waterfront. The night was lovely, with a slight breeze blowing off the cove. Earlier, Jo Marie had suggested Ellie bring a cardigan, and she was glad she’d taken her advice.
“Let me help,” Tom offered, taking the sweater out of her hand and holding it while she slipped her arms into the sleeves. He brought it up to her shoulders and let his hands linger there. Of her own
Similar Books
