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Janmohamed; Shelina Zahra,
Muslim women - Conduct of life,
Mate selection - Religious aspects - Islam,
Arranged marriage - Great Britain,
Muslim women - Great Britain
at this.
“Aren’t the stars beautiful?” I asked. “Thousands of them, twinkling so far from us, yet so near. Who knows what it’s like out in the universe where they are! What an incredible creation! I can’t breathe when I look at them. I bet somewhere out there we could understand what life is really about and find a bit more meaning to bring into this world.”
I was lost in awe. There was a long silence and I forgot he was there.
A few minutes later I spoke again. “They make me feel like there is something bigger than me. I feel like they hold so many secrets, so much to be explored and found. I feel a sense of divine, whether that is with a small d or a capital D .”
I looked at him, wondering if he understood what I was asking, what I was revealing about my quest for the sublime. Would he have provisions for the journey?
I was looking at him framed by the mystical crystal sky. The night was clear. The moon was bright. He paused and I smiled in anticipation. I waited for his charismatic description of the layers and veils of the universe and the unknowable yet tangible beauty of the stars and planets that shone mysteriously above us. I wanted to hear about his quest into his own soul, his fascination with the complexity, the enormity, the simplicity of it all. I wanted to know.
I asked finally, “What do you think when you see the stars?”
He looked at the mysterious sky and said: “I imagine joining the dots.”
Groundhog Day
C hez Shelina the ritual of the suitor’s visit gradually reached a crescendo of perfection. Over weeks and months we worked our way slowly and methodically through a line of potential princes. I was able to be patient and give each man his due time and consideration. We had perfected the process: our family, his family, me, and him; some tea, sweets, and conversation. The morning-after call always came—from the matchmaker of course. Sometimes there would be a second meeting. More often than not it was a case of being philosophical and moving onto the next one. He must be out there. He must be. I told myself to make sure he was the right one. Finding the right man was important.
The suitor hot seat was filled week by week with an unexpected range of princely bottoms.
He was nicely built and good-looking. The son of a friend of a friend, called Samir. I was immediately worried when I heard that he hadn’t completed his university education, but I kept an open mind. Chemistry could sparkle in the most surprising places and between the most unlikely people. A variation in education was a minor point, perhaps even of no significance. Tick-box matchmaking on the basis of paper compatibility had its merits, and often worked, but it was the magic of the unexpected that produced the most interesting relationships in my view.
Samir had dropped out of school to set up his own business and was now an entrepreneurial meteor. Full of confidence, he strode in and installed himself in my father’s comfy chair.
He didn’t bother to make conversation, responding curtly to questions posed directly toward him. Otherwise he stared uninterestedly out of the window at my father’s beautifully tended garden. My father exchanged pleasantries with Samir’s uncle, spending a mandatory ten minutes establishing their family connections. Eventually they found a second cousin on one side married to a great aunt on the other.
Slightly nervous as always, I made my entrance, smiling and nodding my head and saying salam to everyone present. I sat in an empty armchair opposite the boy, my hands clasped, my breathing a little uneven. This time the vase was filled with scented crimson roses. He turned to stare disdainfully at me, and then turned back to stare disdainfully at the wall.
After a few minutes of polite conversation, I got up to make the tea. It was a welcome relief to have something to do. I returned with the correct distribution of teas and coffees, as well as the essential must-have