Love and Shenanigans (Ballybeg, Book 1) (The Ballybeg Series) by Zara Keane

want to.”
    “I can’t believe you two eejits eloped in Vegas. What the fuck were you thinking?”
    “Of our next Long Island iced tea?”
    He shuddered. “Jaysus. Those things are lethal.”
    “Alas, no. We were still alive the next day and so was Drunk Elvis.”
    Ruairí shoved Fiona’s drinks across the bar counter. “Drunk Elvis? Sure, we have one of those in Ballybeg. Do you remember John-Joe Fitzgerald? Looks like your husband is wearing one of his costumes.”
    Fiona surveyed Gavin’s ensemble. “Gawd, you’re right. Speaking of Elvis, that suit’s seen better days.”
    “I know.” Jonas groaned. “Nora Fitzgerald will kill us when she sees the state of it. I tried to get him to stay home, but after he’d lashed into a bottle of vodka, there was no stopping him. I had no choice but to go with him and try to keep him in check.”
    Fiona regarded the collection of empty glasses on their table and Gavin’s disheveled appearance. “Looks like you’re doing a fantastic job of it. I gotta ask… is the wedding-suit-eating dog the same puppy who caused my public humiliation?”
    Jonas choked with laughter.
    “You heard about me splitting my dress?” Fiona crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him defiantly.
    “Muireann might have mentioned it.”
    “To the entire population of Ballybeg, no doubt.”
    “Didja plan today as revenge?” Gavin sloshed whiskey down his formerly white suit.
    Fiona sucked in a breath. What an arsehole. Did he seriously think she’d go to such extremes to get one up on Muireann? “No,” she snapped. “I did not. Oddly enough, I have no desire to be married to you, not even to humiliate my cousin. Not to worry, Gavin. As usual, it’s all about you.”
    He squinted at her through unfocused eyes. “Whaja mean?”
    “We’ve known each other off and on for, what, twenty years?”
    He considered a moment, arithmetic clearly beyond him in his inebriated state. “Something along those lines.”
    “In all that time, you’ve treated me with nothing but condescension, even when you were pretending to be nice. Poor orphaned Fiona. Poor plain Fiona. Do you know how I felt when you abandoned me in Vegas?”
    “I didn’t abanjun… abandon you. Jush left.”
    “Exactly. You up and fucking left.” She placed her hands on her hips and stared him down. “You left me alone in a strange city. So screw you, Gavin Maguire.”
    “Steady on. I didn’t mean—”
    “You never do, do you? You’re not capable of looking beyond yourself. I’m not even sure you love Muireann.”
    “Hey, now.” He made a futile effort to straighten his slumped form. “That’s below the belt, especially given the day I’ve had.”
    “What about
my
day? What about Muireann’s? Surely, of all of us, Bridie’s had the shittiest day?” What the hell had she ever seen in this man? He was totally and utterly self-centered. It was a damn shame he couldn’t marry her witch of a cousin. They deserved each other.
    Gavin scrunched his forehead. “How’s Bridie doing?”
    “She was carted off in an ambulance, and it’s taken you this long to ask after her state of health?”
    “Stop, Fiona. Please. I’m sick of people nagging at me today. My life was fine this morning, and now it’s a fricking mess. I’ve hurt Muireann. I owe her parents their share of the wedding costs. I have a ginormous house with a ginormous mortgage. Considering I’ve just jilted and humiliated my boss’s daughter, I think it’s a safe bet to say I’m unemployed.”
    Ruairí’s stocky figure loomed. “Tone it down, Gavin. I’ve been tolerant up to now because I know you’ve had a tough day. You’ve had more than enough to drink. It’s time for you to leave.”
    “Ah, no. Come on—”
    “No arguments.” Ruairí turned to Jonas. “Are you good to get him home?”
    Jonas regarded his drunk friend dubiously. “I’ll haul him there somehow.”
    The bartender sighed. “Give me a minute. I’ll ask Marcella