Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel Page B

it and make up your own stuff? It would be like if we were in the wilderness camp and it said make your own fire and someone used matches.”
    Oh God, I couldn’t believe we were back here again, round the sodding campfire. I said, “Anyway, he is fabby beyond the dreams of avarice. I have got all of the Horns combined for him, Particular, General and Cosmic.”
    Jas looked very disapproving. “You said Robbie was your only one and only only one and now it’s Masimo, who you have only seen for two minutes. You will end up a lonely person with a reputation for promiscuosity.”
    What is the matter with her? She is the Mother Teresa for a new generation, with a crap fringe. Iwas furious. I said, “Yes, but do you know what the good news is, Jas? I won’t end up YOU, Mrs. Slug Eater.”
    She got the megahump and we were walking along ignorez-vous ing each other when we came across Dave the Laugh AGAIN. Since he got a girlfriend I have seen him all the time; I wonder if he is stalking me. I was about to say that when he grinned and said, “Look, Georgia, stop following me around, you know I love it.”
    Damn!! By this time we had reached Jas’s gate and she went into her drive and said, as a parting shot, “Georgia thinks Masimo is really cool. She likes him, if you know what I mean.”
    I couldn’t believe it!! She had ratted on me and cheapened my love by announcing it on Radio Jas. I could feel my ears going red. As we walked on, Dave was looking at me in a looking-at-me way. Which I hate.
    â€œYou just can’t resist a lead singer, can you, Georgia? He’s flash.”
    I said, “He’s not flash, he’s Italian, that’s what they are like.”
    Dave said, “When I saw him, he was carrying a handbag.”
    â€œThat’s not a handbag, that’s a…er…wallet thing.”
    â€œIt’s a bag he carries in his hand, known as a handbag.”
    I said quickly, not necessarily bothering to involve my brain in the process, “He keeps his revolver in it.”
    Dave looked right into my eyes. He said, “Excuse me—are you officially mad?”
    I said, “No, are YOU mad?”
    And he went, “No…are YOU mad?”
    We’d got to my gate by then and we could have gone on with the “no, are YOU mad?” game forever, but as I started my bit Dave stopped me by tickling me in the ribs. It made me splutter and I got spazoid and he kept doing it. Now I was playing tickly bears with Dave the Laugh. He’d probably start talking Elfin in a minute. What is the matter with boys? I said to Dave, “What in the name of arse is the matter with boys?”
    And he looked at me and then just snogged me! How dare he!!! I tried to tell him off but I couldn’t speak for the snogging. I don’t like to admit this under the circumstances, but he really is a cool snogger and I forgot everything in the puckerosityof the moment. When we stopped for breath he said, “Phwoar—excellent snogging, Georgia.”
    I said, “Why did you do that? You’re going out with someone else.”
    Dave said, “So?”
    I said, “Well, it’s not right.”
    â€œWhat isn’t?”
    â€œYou enticing me and snogging me when you’re going out with someone else.”
    â€œGeorgia, you are repeating yourself, and anyway, there is an explanation.”
    Oh here we go, he’ll tell me that it is really me he likes and that it is moi he wants but I will have to say, “I’m sorry, Dave, but I am putting you aside with a firm hand—I am in love with another.”
    I looked at him sympathetically. “What is the explanation, Dave?”
    â€œI like snogging you and I have got the General Horn.”
    â€œBut…”
    â€œIt’s my age. I’ll grow out of it when I am about forty-five.”
    â€œBut I…”
    â€œDon’t you like snogging