Losing It by Alan Cumyn Page A

was terrible! They found out from the little paper. The whatsit.”
    “The whatsit?”
    “Yes,” she said. His brains had been softened. That’s why he couldn’t make a martini. “Well,” she said, straightening up. “Enough of this! Say hello to everybody!” She walked off, glad to be on her way. Enough chitchat, when our boys were off. She walked to the door and opened it. But it didn’t lead outside at all, it led into a bunch of clothes.
    “Oh for heaven’s sake!” she said.
    “I think you should stay till my mom comes home,” the captain said. Nerves shot through.
    “I have never been so stupidly -” she said. She became flustered and the words wouldn’t come right. Her brain went hiccup.
    “My mom will be home pretty soon,” the captain said. “I hope. Sometimes she doesn’t get home till late, though. It depends on the buses and what’s happening at work.”
    Lenore backed out of the fake door and turned around uncertainly. She was alone with a captain in the barracks after hours. How did that happen? The dance had gone on and on but she didn’t remember getting here. Sometimes they slipped things in your drink. Betty Jane told her that. They slipped things and then you got pregnant and it wasn’t your fault but who would believe you? Alone in the barracks after hours.
    “I think I would like to go home,” she said. Men respected compost. If you lost it, they didn’t respect you at all. “Right away, please,” she said.
    “But where do you live?” he asked. Silver-tongued devil. Those were the ones to look out for. In sloppy uniforms, who lured you.
    “Home! Just take me home!” she said.
    “If you could tell me -”
    “I did tell you! For God’s sake, stop all this -”
    “Maybe your address is written in your purse,” he said. He reached for her and she backed up, nearly spat at him.
    “Don’t touch me!” she said, straightening her shoulders.
    “Okay, okay!” He backed off.
    “I believe,” Lenore said, pressing her advantage, “I asked for a martini!”
    “Well,” he said. Carefully. He’d never been alone with a woman. No wonder he was so crinkled. “I’ll see what I can do!”
    Indeed. Lenore watched him go into the other room. Then she walked quietly to the door, turned the handle, and slipped away, closing it behind her.
    Into darkness. Night already? But a thick darkness, smelly, hard to turn and see anything. No moon, no stars. Just thickness. If only she wasn’t so hot. She could put down the bags. She’d carried them all so long. And her coat. It really was too hot. Dinner could wait, Trevor was fine as long as he had his drink. Lenore took off her coat and her blouse, laid them neatly on the shore. It was hard to move, it was so dark and thick. She took off her skirt and shoes and nylons. It would be better to swim by moonlight. But sometimes there just wasn’t any. She wriggled out of her underwear. That felt better. The only way to swim, really. So free. Not … 
held up
. Girdles especially. She kneeled to try to find her way but the rocks were lumpy and uncomfortable. She could hear the water but couldn’t find it.
    The lights went on then, it was so sudden she screamed. “Trevor!” she shrieked. He did that just to embarrass her, shone the big flashlight when he knew she was skinny-dipping. You could see clear across the lake with that light.
    “Jesus!” Trevor said. But it wasn’t Trevor, it was Capt. Buzbie. Then it went dark again. Lenore felt for her clothes but it was hopeless, nothing was where she’d left it.
    “What are you doing
?” Capt. Buzbie asked. Terrified.
    “Don’t turn on the light!” Lenore commanded. The stupid man. Drugging her like this back to the barracks. “Bring back my clothes!” she said.
    “
I don’t have your clothes
!”
    Too excitable. You come back with crust in your head.
    “I will not stand for any more of this!” Lenore said. “Who is your commanding officer?”
    “My what?”
    “I am going