stunned him—desire, hunger, need, and some other emotion he couldn't quite define. Her heady scent surrounded him, engulfing him with the desire to hold her, taste her, to love her, to spend the night... and the rest of his life with her.
The rest of his life?
Panic shot through him.
What—he wanted to love her, spend the rest of his life with her?
Jesus, he had to get a grip.
His hands shook as she reached for him and his breath suddenly caught painfully in his chest. His palms felt clammy, and his mouth went dry.
"Zack, what's wrong?" Jenna leaned back, her desire-hazed eyes suddenly darkening with concern. "You look like you're going to faint."
He shook his head, swallowing against the raging case of nerves attacking his system. He wanted her, she wanted him, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her soft body pressed against him.
But dammit, she wanted more, wanted marriage and family, and the forever- after-love that he couldn't give, didn't know how to give, didn't even believe in.
He tried to stand, but his legs wobbled and the room spun in dizzying circles.
"Zack?"
"I... I'm sorry," he said, trying to reach for her. But his damned hand trembled like he had some nervous disease.
She stood, then took a step back, hurt tightening the lines of her heart-shaped face.
"You really are scared, aren't you?" she asked in a strained voice.
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His damn vocal chords had completely shut down.
A long tense second stretched between them, then disappointment filled her eyes, and she began to gather the pizza box and their glasses as if they hadn't just been about to make love on her sofa. Then she flipped off the TV and pulled his arm, forcing him to stand. "Go home, Zack. It's what you want."
"No..." He wanted to be with her. But he couldn't will the words to come out.
A sad smile tinged her eyes. Then she brushed a lock of his hair away from his damp forehead and surprised him by standing on tiptoe and kissing his cheek. "It's okay, Zack. I understand. I guess I'll have to settle for your friendship."
Friendship?
He opened his mouth to say that he wanted more, to prove it, but snapped it shut when he remembered the alternative. It was all or nothing with Jenna.
And he had nothing to give her but his body—because his heart had been locked up long ago and wasn't available.
* * *
Jenna closed the door and leaned against the wooden frame, silent tears streaking her face. She was in love with Zack.Totally, whole-heartedly, foolishly in love with him. A man who was terrified of the mere idea of commitment.
A man who'd been shown over and over as a child that love never lasted.
If she could find his mother and father she'd take them both out to the woodshed.
Scrubbing at her tears with the backs of her hands, she locked the door and headed toward her bedroom, knowing sleep would be impossible tonight.
Was there any way she could make Zack believe in love? Or would his childhood mistrust scar him for life?
Heloise's advice echoed in her ears. You can't change a man.
No, she couldn't. But God help her, she was falling in love with the man anyway.
Weary she removed her hearing aid before stepping into the shower and realized with painful clarity that she wasn't the one with the handicap at all. It was Zack.
And she had no idea what to do about it.
* * *
Zack counted the ceiling tiles to make himself fall asleep. Finally when he passed out, he dreamed he was covered by mountains of laundry, drowning in it, then the sharp trill of the phone jerked his awake, and he was fighting his way out to reach it. But it was too late.
Mark was on the phone, telling him that Jenna was marrying someone else. But who?
Eventually the dream turned into a full-fledged nightmare. Dozens of men were chasing Jenna while he was trapped in some steel vault with women throwing darts at him.
The next minute he'd escaped, but he was racing to the church to stop Jenna's wedding.
The rest of his life?
Panic shot through him.
What—he wanted to love her, spend the rest of his life with her?
Jesus, he had to get a grip.
His hands shook as she reached for him and his breath suddenly caught painfully in his chest. His palms felt clammy, and his mouth went dry.
"Zack, what's wrong?" Jenna leaned back, her desire-hazed eyes suddenly darkening with concern. "You look like you're going to faint."
He shook his head, swallowing against the raging case of nerves attacking his system. He wanted her, she wanted him, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her soft body pressed against him.
But dammit, she wanted more, wanted marriage and family, and the forever- after-love that he couldn't give, didn't know how to give, didn't even believe in.
He tried to stand, but his legs wobbled and the room spun in dizzying circles.
"Zack?"
"I... I'm sorry," he said, trying to reach for her. But his damned hand trembled like he had some nervous disease.
She stood, then took a step back, hurt tightening the lines of her heart-shaped face.
"You really are scared, aren't you?" she asked in a strained voice.
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His damn vocal chords had completely shut down.
A long tense second stretched between them, then disappointment filled her eyes, and she began to gather the pizza box and their glasses as if they hadn't just been about to make love on her sofa. Then she flipped off the TV and pulled his arm, forcing him to stand. "Go home, Zack. It's what you want."
"No..." He wanted to be with her. But he couldn't will the words to come out.
A sad smile tinged her eyes. Then she brushed a lock of his hair away from his damp forehead and surprised him by standing on tiptoe and kissing his cheek. "It's okay, Zack. I understand. I guess I'll have to settle for your friendship."
Friendship?
He opened his mouth to say that he wanted more, to prove it, but snapped it shut when he remembered the alternative. It was all or nothing with Jenna.
And he had nothing to give her but his body—because his heart had been locked up long ago and wasn't available.
* * *
Jenna closed the door and leaned against the wooden frame, silent tears streaking her face. She was in love with Zack.Totally, whole-heartedly, foolishly in love with him. A man who was terrified of the mere idea of commitment.
A man who'd been shown over and over as a child that love never lasted.
If she could find his mother and father she'd take them both out to the woodshed.
Scrubbing at her tears with the backs of her hands, she locked the door and headed toward her bedroom, knowing sleep would be impossible tonight.
Was there any way she could make Zack believe in love? Or would his childhood mistrust scar him for life?
Heloise's advice echoed in her ears. You can't change a man.
No, she couldn't. But God help her, she was falling in love with the man anyway.
Weary she removed her hearing aid before stepping into the shower and realized with painful clarity that she wasn't the one with the handicap at all. It was Zack.
And she had no idea what to do about it.
* * *
Zack counted the ceiling tiles to make himself fall asleep. Finally when he passed out, he dreamed he was covered by mountains of laundry, drowning in it, then the sharp trill of the phone jerked his awake, and he was fighting his way out to reach it. But it was too late.
Mark was on the phone, telling him that Jenna was marrying someone else. But who?
Eventually the dream turned into a full-fledged nightmare. Dozens of men were chasing Jenna while he was trapped in some steel vault with women throwing darts at him.
The next minute he'd escaped, but he was racing to the church to stop Jenna's wedding.
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