Living sober by Aa Services Aa Services, Alcoholics Anonymous Page B
Authors: Aa Services Aa Services, Alcoholics Anonymous
Tags: General, Psychology, Self-Help, Psychopathology, Alcoholism, Addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism - Treatment, Substance Abuse & Addictions, Drug Dependence
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self-absorption. We can get so stridently concerned about me-me-me that we lose touch with virtually everyone else. It's not easy to put up with anyone who acts that way, except a sick infant. So when we get into the poor-me bog, we try to hide it, particularly from ourselves. But that's no way to get out of it.
Instead, we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good, honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can start to do something about it other than drink.
Friends can be a great help if they're close enough that we can talk openly with each other. They can hear the false note in our song of sorrow and call us on it. Or we ourselves may hear it; we begin to get our true feelings sorted out by the simple means of expressing them aloud.
Another excellent weapon is humor. Some of the biggest belly laughs at AA meetings erupt when a member describes his or her own latest orgy of self-pity, and we listeners find ourselves looking into a fun-house mirror. There we are—grown men and women tangled up in the emotional diaper of an infant. It may be a shock, but the shared laughter takes a lot of the pain out of it, and the final effect is salutary.
When we catch self-pity starting, we also can take action against it with instant bookkeeping. For every entry of misery on the debit side, we find a blessing we can mark on the credit side. What health we have, what illnesses we don't have, what friends we have loved, the sunny weather, a good meal a-coming, limbs intact, kindnesses shown and received, a sober 24 hours, a good hour's work, a good book to read, and many other items can be totaled up to outbalance the debit entries that cause self-pity.
We can use the same method to combat the holiday blues, which are sung not only by alcoholics.
Christmas and New Year's, birthdays, and anniversaries throw many other people into the morass of self-pity. In AA, we can learn to recognize the old inclination to concentrate on nostalgic sadness, or to keep up a litany of who is gone, who neglects us now, and how little we can give in comparison to rich people. Instead, we add up the other side of the ledger, in gratitude for health, for loved ones who are around, and for our ability to give love, now that we live in sobriety. And again, the balance comes out on the credit side.
23 Seeking professional help
Probably every recovered alcoholic has needed and sought professional help of the sort AA does not provide. For instance, the first two
AA members, its co-founders, needed and got help from physicians, hospitals, and clergymen.
Once we have started staying sober, a lot of our problems seem to disappear. But certain matters remain, or arise, which do require expert professional attention, such as that of an obstetrician, a chi-ropodist, a lawyer, a chest expert, a dentist, a dermatologist, or a psychological counselor of some kind.
Since AA does not furnish such services, we rely on the professional community for job-getting or vocational guidance, advice on domestic relations, counseling on psychiatric problems, and many other needs. AA does not give financial assistance, food, clothing, or shelter to problem drinkers.
But there are good professional agencies and facilities particularly happy to help out an alcoholic who is sincerely trying to stay sober.
One's need for a helping hand is no sign of weakness and no cause for shame. "Pride'' that prevents one's taking an encouraging boost from a professional helper is phony. It is nothing but vanity, and an obstacle to recovery. The more mature one becomes, the more willing one is to use the best possible advice and help.
Examining "case histories" of recovered alcoholics, we can see clearly that all of us have profited, at one time or another, from the specialized services of psychiatrists and other physicians, nurses, counselors, social workers, lawyers, clergymen, or other professional people. The basic AA.
textbook,
Instead, we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good, honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can start to do something about it other than drink.
Friends can be a great help if they're close enough that we can talk openly with each other. They can hear the false note in our song of sorrow and call us on it. Or we ourselves may hear it; we begin to get our true feelings sorted out by the simple means of expressing them aloud.
Another excellent weapon is humor. Some of the biggest belly laughs at AA meetings erupt when a member describes his or her own latest orgy of self-pity, and we listeners find ourselves looking into a fun-house mirror. There we are—grown men and women tangled up in the emotional diaper of an infant. It may be a shock, but the shared laughter takes a lot of the pain out of it, and the final effect is salutary.
When we catch self-pity starting, we also can take action against it with instant bookkeeping. For every entry of misery on the debit side, we find a blessing we can mark on the credit side. What health we have, what illnesses we don't have, what friends we have loved, the sunny weather, a good meal a-coming, limbs intact, kindnesses shown and received, a sober 24 hours, a good hour's work, a good book to read, and many other items can be totaled up to outbalance the debit entries that cause self-pity.
We can use the same method to combat the holiday blues, which are sung not only by alcoholics.
Christmas and New Year's, birthdays, and anniversaries throw many other people into the morass of self-pity. In AA, we can learn to recognize the old inclination to concentrate on nostalgic sadness, or to keep up a litany of who is gone, who neglects us now, and how little we can give in comparison to rich people. Instead, we add up the other side of the ledger, in gratitude for health, for loved ones who are around, and for our ability to give love, now that we live in sobriety. And again, the balance comes out on the credit side.
23 Seeking professional help
Probably every recovered alcoholic has needed and sought professional help of the sort AA does not provide. For instance, the first two
AA members, its co-founders, needed and got help from physicians, hospitals, and clergymen.
Once we have started staying sober, a lot of our problems seem to disappear. But certain matters remain, or arise, which do require expert professional attention, such as that of an obstetrician, a chi-ropodist, a lawyer, a chest expert, a dentist, a dermatologist, or a psychological counselor of some kind.
Since AA does not furnish such services, we rely on the professional community for job-getting or vocational guidance, advice on domestic relations, counseling on psychiatric problems, and many other needs. AA does not give financial assistance, food, clothing, or shelter to problem drinkers.
But there are good professional agencies and facilities particularly happy to help out an alcoholic who is sincerely trying to stay sober.
One's need for a helping hand is no sign of weakness and no cause for shame. "Pride'' that prevents one's taking an encouraging boost from a professional helper is phony. It is nothing but vanity, and an obstacle to recovery. The more mature one becomes, the more willing one is to use the best possible advice and help.
Examining "case histories" of recovered alcoholics, we can see clearly that all of us have profited, at one time or another, from the specialized services of psychiatrists and other physicians, nurses, counselors, social workers, lawyers, clergymen, or other professional people. The basic AA.
textbook,
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