Live to Tell by G. L. Watt

was watching me.
    “Don’t you like the soup? You don’t seem to be enjoying it. It is Heinz you know. I thought you liked tomato.”
    “Yeah, it’s fine, really.”
    When he eventually finished it, I picked up my bowl and moved around the table to get his. Standing next to him, I leaned over for the dish but he caught hold of me, around the waist.
    “Are you still hungry,” he asked. I hesitated. “It’s just that it feels like I’ve waited most of my life for you, ever since I first saw you in Italy. I can’t wait any longer.”
    Pulling me onto his knee, he pressed me to him. With a crash I dropped the bowls onto the floor. One of them bounced, but from the noise, I guessed the other one had broken. I didn’t care. I was always having to listen to the girls in my course talking about men. The consensus seemed to be that young, healthy, fit men were full of testosterone, and that if it wasn’t channelled correctly, there was a risk that they would stray. Danny was the fittest, healthiest, most testosterone-filled person that I, and probably they, would ever meet, and it was a source of continuing concern to me that he would get tired of waiting. The glamorous young woman at the night club door also featured large in my worries.
    Pushing back his chair, he lifted me up and carried me along the passage kissing me as we went.
    “Which one is your room,” he asked, and I pointed to it.
    He pushed open the door and kissed me again before setting me down on the side of the bed. Then I remembered the candles. Oh, no, I couldn’t risk a fire.
    “Stop. We must blow out the candles. It’s dangerous to leave them burning. It might make the apartment’s insurance…”
    Ignoring my warning completely, he kissed me again. “There’s something I want to ask you.”
    “Oh, if it’s about the apartment? Well don’t worry Aidan is a… .”
    “No, not about the apartment. Look, I know this is none of my business, and if you tell me to fuck off, I’ll understand, but I have to ask. It’s been really bugging me. When you were with Olly did you… well… er, you know, did you do anything?”
    I knew that my entire future happiness probably rested on those few words and the reply that I gave.
    “Oh, you silly boy. What could I do? I only met him the day before I met you. And Aunt Jess was with us all the time. She and I came home a few days later.”
    “Yes, of course,” he said, “and he went to Cape Town as soon as he got back.”
    “As you say. I hardly knew him. I told you. I even thought his name was Joe.”
    He gave a sigh. “It’s just that, the way he talked about you, I thought you were the love of his life.” He hesitated, his voice faltering, “And that you two were a real item.”
    I stroked the side of his face. “You’re the only item I want,” I said, kissing him. “You are the love of my life.”
    He kissed me again, and then stood up to sort out the fire risk. I thought about Joe. He seemed decent and kind, and I was sure he wasn’t the type to say anything cruel, just to score points. I thought that if ever we did see him again, he could be trusted. If not, I thought, I’ll just have to brazen it out and deny everything!
    Danny carried the candle display, in situ, and still alight into my room and carefully placed it on top of my dressing table. Its flickering reflection illuminated the room. He then took off his clothes in a completely unselfconscious way in front of me. In my entire life even in my life class at college, I had never seen such a beautiful body. He knelt on the floor and took hold of my hands.
    Because of the things that had happened in the last year, I was no longer the irresponsible, carefree girl who had gone with Joe to the Edwardian house for a night of passion, and my self confidence now was at an all time low. Despite the new lingerie, I felt anxious at the thought of Danny undressing me and was terrified that after all his expectation, he would find me a