the fun memories of the early hours of the previous Sunday. “Okay, if a tiger took on a shark, who would win?” he said.
Ian and Chris, never ones to keep their opinions to themselves, also enjoyed these debates. “Well, a shark can’t live out of water, can it?” began Ian. “That immediately puts it at a disadvantage. How is it going to attack the tiger, if the tiger is on land?”
“That’s a good point,” said Sam. “But by the same token, how can the tiger attack the shark? Tigers can’t swim, can they?”
“Yeah they can,” argued Ian.
“But they can’t breathe underwater, so they can’t fight underwater. Therefore the Shark can have a go at the tiger while the tiger is trying to stay afloat.” Everyone was smiling now. It was a silly discussion but they were enjoying it.
“The shark is used to living underwater, the same way the tiger is used to living above water,” Sam went on.
“Okay, what if we take living environment out of it,” said Ian.
“Now you’re changing the rules to suit you.”
“What about a crocodile?” Ravi chimed in. “They can live in water and out, and they’re hard as nails. They’d kick the arse of a tiger and a shark, maybe both at the same time!”
“Yeah, but they carry a lot of weight. Have you seen them waddle around? They have to use a crane to move them bastards about,” Ian countered.
“Yeah, you’ve gotta consider weight. We’re talking pound-for-pound. How about a mosquito or a cockroach? They don’t weigh anything but they carry all sorts of diseases that kill you,” Ravi said after giving the matter some thought.
“Hmmmm, he’s got a point,” Ian had to concede.
“Pills and booze don’t half make you chat some bullshit, don’t they?”
“Yeah, why is that?” Sam had often pondered this very question.
“And also, why do pills make people want to dance? Why not do something else like… I dunno, go ice-skating or something?”
“You’ve lost me there, mate,” said Ian.
Sam continued. “Well, you do pills, right? They make you want to get up and dance, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And every pill does it, if it’s a good one, yeah? Well, why don’t they make you want to clean the car or something else sometimes?”
“I see what you mean,” said Ian.
“You could get one that makes you want to do the ironing or clean your room or something; but you don’t, you always want to get up and dance.”
“Yeah, it’s bizarre.”
Sam had clearly opened up another silly topic of conversation that would no doubt be continued at a later date. The thought made him smile. He surreptitiously glanced at his mobile phone. Nothing.
Ian, when drunk, could go one of two ways. He either got over-emotional, which often led him to start hugging and kissing his friends, or he could be obnoxious and aggressive. Tonight, as the booze continued to flow, it seemed to be the latter.
“ You obviously had a lot of time on your hands at university. ” Ian fixed Sam with a stare across the table, he was almost shouting, only pausing to take sizeable gulps of lager. “ Didn ’ t you do any work? ”
Here we go ,thought Sam. He had often got the impression that Ian was jealous of his time at university, as at the time Ian had worked at a string of dead-end jobs. Now Ian was a well-paid salesman and, at the moment, very successful. Occasionally Ian liked to ridicule Sam about how things had turned out. The two men both had strong, forceful personalities, and although they were usually close friends, they could occasionally clash, usually when alcohol was involved. Sam was particularly vulnerable at the moment. Ian knew about his financial difficulties and he could sense from his mood that he had other problems. Ian couldn ’ t resist a little dig, the booze in his bloodstream eroding his self-control.
“ How long is it since you left that place? ” But Ian knew the answer.
“ About eighteen months. ” Sam thought this sounded better than
Ian and Chris, never ones to keep their opinions to themselves, also enjoyed these debates. “Well, a shark can’t live out of water, can it?” began Ian. “That immediately puts it at a disadvantage. How is it going to attack the tiger, if the tiger is on land?”
“That’s a good point,” said Sam. “But by the same token, how can the tiger attack the shark? Tigers can’t swim, can they?”
“Yeah they can,” argued Ian.
“But they can’t breathe underwater, so they can’t fight underwater. Therefore the Shark can have a go at the tiger while the tiger is trying to stay afloat.” Everyone was smiling now. It was a silly discussion but they were enjoying it.
“The shark is used to living underwater, the same way the tiger is used to living above water,” Sam went on.
“Okay, what if we take living environment out of it,” said Ian.
“Now you’re changing the rules to suit you.”
“What about a crocodile?” Ravi chimed in. “They can live in water and out, and they’re hard as nails. They’d kick the arse of a tiger and a shark, maybe both at the same time!”
“Yeah, but they carry a lot of weight. Have you seen them waddle around? They have to use a crane to move them bastards about,” Ian countered.
“Yeah, you’ve gotta consider weight. We’re talking pound-for-pound. How about a mosquito or a cockroach? They don’t weigh anything but they carry all sorts of diseases that kill you,” Ravi said after giving the matter some thought.
“Hmmmm, he’s got a point,” Ian had to concede.
“Pills and booze don’t half make you chat some bullshit, don’t they?”
“Yeah, why is that?” Sam had often pondered this very question.
“And also, why do pills make people want to dance? Why not do something else like… I dunno, go ice-skating or something?”
“You’ve lost me there, mate,” said Ian.
Sam continued. “Well, you do pills, right? They make you want to get up and dance, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And every pill does it, if it’s a good one, yeah? Well, why don’t they make you want to clean the car or something else sometimes?”
“I see what you mean,” said Ian.
“You could get one that makes you want to do the ironing or clean your room or something; but you don’t, you always want to get up and dance.”
“Yeah, it’s bizarre.”
Sam had clearly opened up another silly topic of conversation that would no doubt be continued at a later date. The thought made him smile. He surreptitiously glanced at his mobile phone. Nothing.
Ian, when drunk, could go one of two ways. He either got over-emotional, which often led him to start hugging and kissing his friends, or he could be obnoxious and aggressive. Tonight, as the booze continued to flow, it seemed to be the latter.
“ You obviously had a lot of time on your hands at university. ” Ian fixed Sam with a stare across the table, he was almost shouting, only pausing to take sizeable gulps of lager. “ Didn ’ t you do any work? ”
Here we go ,thought Sam. He had often got the impression that Ian was jealous of his time at university, as at the time Ian had worked at a string of dead-end jobs. Now Ian was a well-paid salesman and, at the moment, very successful. Occasionally Ian liked to ridicule Sam about how things had turned out. The two men both had strong, forceful personalities, and although they were usually close friends, they could occasionally clash, usually when alcohol was involved. Sam was particularly vulnerable at the moment. Ian knew about his financial difficulties and he could sense from his mood that he had other problems. Ian couldn ’ t resist a little dig, the booze in his bloodstream eroding his self-control.
“ How long is it since you left that place? ” But Ian knew the answer.
“ About eighteen months. ” Sam thought this sounded better than
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