freezing.
Why are you waking me up, Blacky?
Cause I donât have any clean clothes.
Well, wear dirty ones, she says.
Okay.
Wear your Planet of the Apes shirt.
I wore it yesterday, I say.
What about a sweater?
I donât know where Ma keeps em.
Hang on, she says, and gets out of bed with her sheets wrapped around her.
She digs in her bottom drawer and hands me a black sweatshirt that says BIG DICKS FOR LITTLE CHICKS.
Here, she says. Itâs the only clean thing I got.
Thanks, I say.
Just wear it inside out. You can tear off the tag if you want.
Okay.
And donât forget to brush your teeth. And scrape your tongue, you have dickbreath again.
Then Shay lights a cigarette and smokes.
Sometimes Shay will brush her teeth with Cheedleâs toothbrush. I have caught her doing this several times. Once I saw her using his toothbrush while chewing grape Bubble Yum. I tried to do this too, but it didnât work. All the gum got stuck in the bristles. These are the kinds of things Shay does better than anyone.
I just stand there for a minute.
What? she says.
Do you have my pants? I say.
Theyâre still at Bettyâs. Iâll get em tonight. Just wear your Sunday slacks.
Okay.
Then Shay blows the smoke into one of the Airwick air fresheners and sits on the floor.
In the bathroom I brush my teeth and scrape my tongue.
The water is so cold I canât even wash my hands all the way and they wind up slick and mossy.
I have this one cowlick that I have to wet to make stay down but I decide against it for fear of pneumonia and other cold-weather diseases.
After the bathroom I go into my room and make layers. I use Shayâs sweatshirt and my J.C. Penneyâs jean jacket with twice the stitching.
I wish I had a hat.
It might definitely help matters.
I think about wearing a plastic bag on my head but this would be idiotic and noisy.
But I worry about frostbite.
Once Eric Duggan told me that if you get frostbite various body parts turn black and start falling off. He said he saw it on the Science Network.
I imagine my ears rolling around on the floor.
It is so cold out it doesnât even make any sense.
At the bus stop two kids are wearing snow parkas.
Three kids walk up to the other two. These three are also wearing snow parkas.
Everyone looks like astronauts.
Mary Jane Paddington comes around the corner. She walks like she has extra time for stuff. I admire this and it makes me think of how I always feel slow and speedy at the same time.
I have never seen Mary Jane Paddington on the bus. She is wearing many layers of sweatshirts and sweaters and a windbreaker that says KOREN MOTORS on the back. She is also wearing a blue knit hat that makes her head look huge. Her hair sneaks out at the ears.
Hey, I say.
Hey, she says, and nudges my shoulder.
I try and nudge her back but I miss.
She says, Pretty cold, huh?
Her breath smells like toothpaste and cereal.
All the kids in parkas are watching us like weâre on display in a glass case.
You warm enough? she asks.
Sort of, I say, but I know she can see me shivering.
Here, she says, and unsnaps her windbreaker and hands it to me. Itâs red and says BILL on the front.
Whoâs Bill? I ask.
My dad, she says. He sells cars at Koren Motors.
Thanks, I say.
We stand there and make silver smoke. The windbreaker helps a little but I canât stop shivering.
This girl with a blue ski vest turns and stares at us for a minute. Her face is pretty and clean.
Mary Jane Paddington says, What are you lookin at, bitch? and then the girl turns away.
When the bus finally comes we get on first and go all the way to the back.
They donât let boys and girls sit together, so Mary Jane Paddington and I sit across the aisle.
Her jacket is warmer on the bus and I am surprised to find that it doesnât smell.
In Math Skills Mr. Stone is walking up and down the rows like a bad-ass. Sometimes I think he wants to headbutt me cause he
Why are you waking me up, Blacky?
Cause I donât have any clean clothes.
Well, wear dirty ones, she says.
Okay.
Wear your Planet of the Apes shirt.
I wore it yesterday, I say.
What about a sweater?
I donât know where Ma keeps em.
Hang on, she says, and gets out of bed with her sheets wrapped around her.
She digs in her bottom drawer and hands me a black sweatshirt that says BIG DICKS FOR LITTLE CHICKS.
Here, she says. Itâs the only clean thing I got.
Thanks, I say.
Just wear it inside out. You can tear off the tag if you want.
Okay.
And donât forget to brush your teeth. And scrape your tongue, you have dickbreath again.
Then Shay lights a cigarette and smokes.
Sometimes Shay will brush her teeth with Cheedleâs toothbrush. I have caught her doing this several times. Once I saw her using his toothbrush while chewing grape Bubble Yum. I tried to do this too, but it didnât work. All the gum got stuck in the bristles. These are the kinds of things Shay does better than anyone.
I just stand there for a minute.
What? she says.
Do you have my pants? I say.
Theyâre still at Bettyâs. Iâll get em tonight. Just wear your Sunday slacks.
Okay.
Then Shay blows the smoke into one of the Airwick air fresheners and sits on the floor.
In the bathroom I brush my teeth and scrape my tongue.
The water is so cold I canât even wash my hands all the way and they wind up slick and mossy.
I have this one cowlick that I have to wet to make stay down but I decide against it for fear of pneumonia and other cold-weather diseases.
After the bathroom I go into my room and make layers. I use Shayâs sweatshirt and my J.C. Penneyâs jean jacket with twice the stitching.
I wish I had a hat.
It might definitely help matters.
I think about wearing a plastic bag on my head but this would be idiotic and noisy.
But I worry about frostbite.
Once Eric Duggan told me that if you get frostbite various body parts turn black and start falling off. He said he saw it on the Science Network.
I imagine my ears rolling around on the floor.
It is so cold out it doesnât even make any sense.
At the bus stop two kids are wearing snow parkas.
Three kids walk up to the other two. These three are also wearing snow parkas.
Everyone looks like astronauts.
Mary Jane Paddington comes around the corner. She walks like she has extra time for stuff. I admire this and it makes me think of how I always feel slow and speedy at the same time.
I have never seen Mary Jane Paddington on the bus. She is wearing many layers of sweatshirts and sweaters and a windbreaker that says KOREN MOTORS on the back. She is also wearing a blue knit hat that makes her head look huge. Her hair sneaks out at the ears.
Hey, I say.
Hey, she says, and nudges my shoulder.
I try and nudge her back but I miss.
She says, Pretty cold, huh?
Her breath smells like toothpaste and cereal.
All the kids in parkas are watching us like weâre on display in a glass case.
You warm enough? she asks.
Sort of, I say, but I know she can see me shivering.
Here, she says, and unsnaps her windbreaker and hands it to me. Itâs red and says BILL on the front.
Whoâs Bill? I ask.
My dad, she says. He sells cars at Koren Motors.
Thanks, I say.
We stand there and make silver smoke. The windbreaker helps a little but I canât stop shivering.
This girl with a blue ski vest turns and stares at us for a minute. Her face is pretty and clean.
Mary Jane Paddington says, What are you lookin at, bitch? and then the girl turns away.
When the bus finally comes we get on first and go all the way to the back.
They donât let boys and girls sit together, so Mary Jane Paddington and I sit across the aisle.
Her jacket is warmer on the bus and I am surprised to find that it doesnât smell.
In Math Skills Mr. Stone is walking up and down the rows like a bad-ass. Sometimes I think he wants to headbutt me cause he
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