closing up, and her eyes started to burn, but she
managed to finish, “I shouldn’t have tried to sneak out, since I don’t want to
leave you. I just wanted…I just want to be me , for as long as I can.”
She
hadn’t really meant to spill so much, and she felt horribly self-conscious
after she realized what she’d said. She couldn’t look Paul in the eye, but she
darted a quick glance up to his face.
He
stared at her—not intense or emotional but deeply focused.
After
a long, tense silence, he asked, “What were you planning to do tonight?”
Emily
lowered her eyes. “I was going to go Lake Collins,” she murmured, referring to
a recreational lake not far outside of the city, “To go skinny-dipping. I
figured I’d take a cab to a gas station nearby and then walk the rest of the
way, since I wouldn’t want a cab driver sitting waiting while I went for a
swim.”
Paul
was silent for longer than she expected. Then he said, “You can’t go by
yourself. I’m sorry. I know you think I’m being paranoid, but I’m absolutely
convinced my father is a danger to you, and it’s just too much of a risk. I
realize it’s not the same, but what if you and I went out there now, tonight?”
She
looked up at him in surprise. “Having all the security around might take some
of the thrill out of it, but it’s better than noth—”
“I
mean just you and me. I can drive us there.”
Her
eyes widened as she gazed up at his impassive face, catching just a tiny hint
of uncertainty in his expression. A pressure of emotion tightened in her chest.
“Really? That would be okay?”
He
nodded. There was pity in his eyes—she could see it there—but there was also
something that looked like understanding. “I think so. Would that feel enough
like you ?”
She
beamed up at him with a wobbly smile. “Yes. I think so. Thank you.”
*
* *
They took Paul’s black
Porsche, and Emily felt a silly thrill every time someone glanced over to see
who was riding in the ludicrously expensive car.
Now
that she’d resolved things with Paul and with herself, Emily's excitement about
the evening’s activities returned in full force. She pushed all heavy thoughts
out of her mind and allowed herself to enjoy it.
Once
they got out of the downtown area, Paul picked up his speed. He let her choose
their music on his sophisticated satellite radio, and she turned the volume up
loud.
She
had a really good time—speeding through the mostly empty roads at night and
singing loudly to all the songs she knew, even the cheesy ones.
Before,
she might have been self-conscious about being so uninhibited with Paul, since
he might think she was foolish or childish. She just didn’t care as much about
that now, though. Knowing you were going to die changed your perspective. Paul
smiled over at her sometimes, so she didn’t think he thought she was too silly.
He
didn’t try to make small talk or get in the way of her fun, and she was in high
spirits when they got to the lake.
The
recreation areas around the lake were officially closed, but Paul didn’t let
that stop him. Instead of trying to get through the main gates—which were
locked—Paul simply drove around the gates on the grass, maneuvering through
some picnic tables, around a swing-set, and in between various trash cans until
he could get back to the road that led down to the lake.
Emily
had been clapping at Paul’s improvisation, and it wasn’t until he parked the
car right in front of the sandy beach area that she realized she was here to go
skinny-dipping.
Paul
had turned down the volume of the music, and now he looked over at her with a
little smile. “You ready?”
She
nodded resolutely, grabbed her towel, and climbed out of the car. Paul got out
too and walked halfway down the beach with her, until she stopped and leaned
down to unbuckle her sandals. “You’re not going to watch, are you?” she asked,
her heart starting to beat a little faster.
Paul
gave a huff of
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