Lilia's Secret by Erina Reddan

and they’ve invited you to lunch on Sunday. You must come – the ranch is beautiful.’
    I already knew about his ranch. He sounded like he was doing a sales pitch.
    He shook my hand. ‘Where have you gone? Come back.’
    I stopped staring at the carpet of night lights out the window. I looked at his lips.
    â€˜I can’t,’ I said.
    â€˜You said he was putting too much pressure on you. I won’t put that kind of pressure on you.’ He moved across the bed and held my chin. ‘Look at me. I’m serious …’
    It didn’t seem strange to me at all. I knew I’d been projecting the same impression until now. ‘Sorry,’ I said. I scrunched up my face, trying to convey empathy, but also that there was nothing to be done about it.
    â€˜Sorry? Just like that?’ He shook his head. ‘You’ve got to be kidding, Madeline.’ His hands came down on mine, imprisoning them again. I snatched mine away, cold inside. ‘I have to go.’ I moved the blankets about looking for my bag. He smiled nastily and shrugged his shoulders.
    â€˜Try not to waste your whole life pretending to fall in love with men you don’t know.’
    I stumbled against the door as I backed away. He wasn’t Andrés. His mouth was cruel; how could I have kissed it?
    When I got out of the hotel there was a kid dozing against the wall. She was standing next to a beggar asleep under a bundle of clothes, still passively petitioning. The kid roused herself when she heard me coming and thrust a box of chewing gum at me. I never eat it but I bought the whole lot, then left the box at the corner for her to pick up when I’d disappeared. I couldn’t meet her dead, round eyes.
    The next day I wanted to ring Matías to say sorry. But if I rang him, I’d open up the possibility of seeing him again, and I knew I might dive right back in. The terror was still inside me, you see.
    Instead, I finally called Andrés’ sisters, who lived on the other side of Mexico City. I knew their voices from short telephone conversations in which we’d shouted at each other down the line.
    â€˜What a joy to hear your voice,’ Gabriela would say.
    â€˜It warms my heart that Andrés has found you,’ Lupita would add.
    I couldn’t match their exuberant affection, but I’d done my best. Andrés had told me how fiercely they loved him, the baby of the family, and how they thought that no woman would be good enough for him. Now that I was to meet Gabriela and Lupita in the flesh, I was worried he was right. More than that, I was worried they’d notice I was a mess.

    â€˜How was your trip to Taxco?’ Gabriela asked, sitting across the table with hairsprayed bouffant hair and red lips.
    I regretted telling Andrés that was why I hadn’t contacted his sisters straight away. ‘Great,’ I coughed through the haze of smoke they were creating. ‘I didn’t see much though, just the inside of the hotel where the conference was.’
    Gabriela exchanged glances with Lupita. ‘Sister, Andrés didn’t mention any conference.’
    â€˜It was work,’ I said quickly.
    Lupita was a red-haired version of Gabriela. They both wore beaded cardigans straining over their capacious busts and soft waists. Andrés was so passionate about them that I hadn’t expected them to be so ordinary. I liked them though. I liked their easy way of laughing and interrupting each other. I liked that they asked me questions and didn’t wait to be entertained. They wanted to know all the fine details of Andrés’ life in Sydney with me – how many bedrooms in the apartment? What colour were the walls? What kind of food did we cook? They were very pleased to find that Andrés and I both cooked.
    It was easy being with them. We talked about theirteenaged children, two each. Lupita had boys and Gabriela had girls. I asked them