Lilian's Story by Kate Grenville Page B

yelled into the playground, No, I am not scared , but I did not even convince myself. I just have not had time yet. But Ursula did not care what reason I might think of. And I would rather her think I was scared than for her to guess that I did not want to steal any more of Miss Gash’s tiles, and did not want to hear about her being a witch. I had enjoyed Miss Gash’s postage stamps, and could still feel the taste of that interesting water. Next time I will , I shouted unhappily. I will get you the best tile there is. Ursula stared from her cool blank eyes. She had eaten all her date slices herself today, and had rejected pumpkin scones. Behind her, almost hidden by a tree, I could see Gwen watching me. She had seen me offer my scones to Ursula, had watched Ursula refuse them. Now I knew that she was watching as Ursula left me and joined Anne and Judith at skipping. I moved away too, although I had never got the knack of skipping, and came down so hard my fat shuddered. But Gwen followed me and was by my side before I could get away. She said nothing, but watched my face as closely as if I was speaking, and at last the silence was too much, and I had to speak. You have the ringworm , I told her, but then I could not believe I had said the words aloud. Gwen showed no sign of having heard, but stood tossing a pebble in her hand. When she dropped it at last and bent to pick it up, I saw the hair part at the back of her neck and expose the pale secret tendon there, and said it again, louder, You have the ringworm, and you smell. This time there could not be any doubts that I had spoken aloud. I did not watch Gwen’s back as she walked away, but counted the revolutions of the skipping rope in the sun, until I was dazed by the numbers.
    A Vanquished One
    Gwen, you are very green , Miss Vine said, and everyone turned to look, Gwen’s pale lips opened, but she said nothing. Gwen, go at once to Matron if you are feeling sick , Miss Vine ordered, but Gwen had never stood up in front of the whole class and would not start now. By the time the lesson was over, the afternoon blowflies buzzing against the window, Gwen could not move from her desk, but sat shivering and twitching with a face that was grey and puffy. One finger was swollen to three times its normal size and the hand itself was swollen tightly like a sock full of sand.
    Gwen never returned to school, although we were told she did not die. The girls’ lavatory was boarded up and Mr. Pinnock warned us again about venomous fauna. When Ursula, in between two bounces of her ball, said, You made her do it , I let . out a terrible trumpeting that made everyone in the playground turn and stare.
    Lazarus
    When Father recovered, everyone was surprised and no one was pleased. It is a miracle , Mother said, and ripped the lace of the handkerchief she was twisting in joy. Her mouth shook and she smoothed her dress as if it was a bed. We must give thuds , she said, but I knew she meant thanks.
    In this crisis, John spoke to me. Are you pleased he is better? he asked me, and I thought of all the things I could say: Yes , or No , or, I don’t know. He stared at my silence and said loudly: I am not. He sniffed. Tell them if you like. We sat under the plumbago in silence for a long time. It was cramped in there now, for John was getting taller each day. By Jove but you are filling out , jovial shopkeepers exclaimed. As if telling the time, John said, I wish he would die , and tears began to roll down his face so that he had to put his glasses on the ground and smear his face with his sleeve.
    I did not hold a grudge, and brought him hands and feet later for his collection. He sat on his bed staring at a blank piece of his bedcover. These are Raleigh’s feet , I tried to cajole him. He discovered potatoes. And here is King Henry’s finger, pointing at a wife. John had gifts for me, too, and we did not mention Joan, or Miss Gash, or even Rick or Ursula. Here, Lil