about her chats with the girls late at night when they came home from their dates. Well, the second she snapped on the light she’d grab her cigarettes and light one up. She also didn’t exercise or pay attention to what she ate, so she was a little overweight. I wished I could have made her do the things that would have helped her stay healthy.
My mother gave wonderful advice to her daughters about men, but I used to say to her, “I wish you could give yourself the same advice!” She was divorced three times, and she dated again, but nothing ever worked out in the long run. As much as my mother loved being a mom and was happy in her life, I really think she always wanted to find somebody to love and build a lasting relationship with. And yet whenever there was a man around, well, she wasn’t exactly the most adoring wife! I’m not going to lie! Ha-ha!
My mother actually decided to get married for the fourth time while she was battling breast cancer. I found it so funny. I said to her, “Mom, why are you getting married if (a) you’re sick and (b) you don’t even like being married?”
We had the wedding at Kim’s house, and when the priest said, “Do you take this man … ,” Mom looked at me and rolled her eyes and said, “Ugh … yes.”
I started laughing. “Mom, you can’t do that! You’re getting married!” She was just one of the funniest women you’d ever want to meet. Right to the very end, even though she was terrified of dying and hadn’t accepted it at all. She fought it all the way, and it was very painful for us to watch, but she never lost her sense of humor.
We had insisted on taking her from the hospice so she could spend her last days with us. After a ridiculous amount of red tape, we finally brought her to Kim’s house where we set up a hospital bed for her. One day we were trying to bathe her and she started to fall off the bed. Kim shouted, “Kyle! Kyle!” and we struggled, and it was kind of hilarious. My mom couldn’t even move, but she started laughing so hard! I said, “Kim! Kim! Get the leg!” Here we were, all of us laughing, with my mom just days away from dying!
Mom’s best friend, Diane, joined us in those last days. The two of them loved to eat and always teased each other about it. But at this point my mom wasn’t eating anything and wasn’t really able to talk anymore either. Finally the doctors told us to stop giving her Ensure or even water, because we were prolonging her passing. God, when you’re told to cut your mom off from water, that is so, so difficult.
We did have some swabs that we would soak in water and then put in her mouth to ease the dryness. One day we gave her a swab and she just clamped on to it, gripping it with all her might. Diane said, “Darling, relax. It’s not a chicken bone!”
My mom immediately burst out laughing, and the two of them laughed so hard and so long that even Diane couldn’t talk! That was Mom’s last amazing laugh. And maybe her last living lesson to me—a reminder that attitude counts for so much. Even in the most painful times, you can laugh, and you should, because it can lighten your heart and maybe even give you a bit of extra strength.
Then at the very end, she communicated loud and clear without using words.
I had been laying by mom’s side the night before she died, but the hospice nurse said, “Honey, your mom’s not going to let go if you’re there right beside her.” I didn’t want to miss her final moments, but the nurse said she would come and get me.
At about 5:00 in the morning, Kim woke me up and said, “It’s time.”
We had put on a CD with sounds of the ocean to make everything as peaceful as possible for her, and we were soothing her, telling her, “It’s okay, Mom, you can go.”
Suddenly we heard loud clattering sounds in the kitchen. I figured it was Mauricio, and I thought, If he knows my mom’s dying, why doesn’t he come in here? And what is he doing with the silverware
My mother gave wonderful advice to her daughters about men, but I used to say to her, “I wish you could give yourself the same advice!” She was divorced three times, and she dated again, but nothing ever worked out in the long run. As much as my mother loved being a mom and was happy in her life, I really think she always wanted to find somebody to love and build a lasting relationship with. And yet whenever there was a man around, well, she wasn’t exactly the most adoring wife! I’m not going to lie! Ha-ha!
My mother actually decided to get married for the fourth time while she was battling breast cancer. I found it so funny. I said to her, “Mom, why are you getting married if (a) you’re sick and (b) you don’t even like being married?”
We had the wedding at Kim’s house, and when the priest said, “Do you take this man … ,” Mom looked at me and rolled her eyes and said, “Ugh … yes.”
I started laughing. “Mom, you can’t do that! You’re getting married!” She was just one of the funniest women you’d ever want to meet. Right to the very end, even though she was terrified of dying and hadn’t accepted it at all. She fought it all the way, and it was very painful for us to watch, but she never lost her sense of humor.
We had insisted on taking her from the hospice so she could spend her last days with us. After a ridiculous amount of red tape, we finally brought her to Kim’s house where we set up a hospital bed for her. One day we were trying to bathe her and she started to fall off the bed. Kim shouted, “Kyle! Kyle!” and we struggled, and it was kind of hilarious. My mom couldn’t even move, but she started laughing so hard! I said, “Kim! Kim! Get the leg!” Here we were, all of us laughing, with my mom just days away from dying!
Mom’s best friend, Diane, joined us in those last days. The two of them loved to eat and always teased each other about it. But at this point my mom wasn’t eating anything and wasn’t really able to talk anymore either. Finally the doctors told us to stop giving her Ensure or even water, because we were prolonging her passing. God, when you’re told to cut your mom off from water, that is so, so difficult.
We did have some swabs that we would soak in water and then put in her mouth to ease the dryness. One day we gave her a swab and she just clamped on to it, gripping it with all her might. Diane said, “Darling, relax. It’s not a chicken bone!”
My mom immediately burst out laughing, and the two of them laughed so hard and so long that even Diane couldn’t talk! That was Mom’s last amazing laugh. And maybe her last living lesson to me—a reminder that attitude counts for so much. Even in the most painful times, you can laugh, and you should, because it can lighten your heart and maybe even give you a bit of extra strength.
Then at the very end, she communicated loud and clear without using words.
I had been laying by mom’s side the night before she died, but the hospice nurse said, “Honey, your mom’s not going to let go if you’re there right beside her.” I didn’t want to miss her final moments, but the nurse said she would come and get me.
At about 5:00 in the morning, Kim woke me up and said, “It’s time.”
We had put on a CD with sounds of the ocean to make everything as peaceful as possible for her, and we were soothing her, telling her, “It’s okay, Mom, you can go.”
Suddenly we heard loud clattering sounds in the kitchen. I figured it was Mauricio, and I thought, If he knows my mom’s dying, why doesn’t he come in here? And what is he doing with the silverware
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