meeting with Hans-Hermann was dreadful. I felt really bad afterwards. After all, we had a great time together, and then suddenly we’re sitting there like enemies and talking about accounts and money.”
“Well, it wasn’t me that started it all.”
“Christine, I know that. Everything happened so badly; that wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. We were always a good team, and we could still be one too.”
I could feel myself losing the distance from him that had taken so much time and effort to build up.
He took my glass again and carried on talking.
“It’s just seems ridiculous for us to break off contact. We could always meet up when you’re working here, and I’d really love to see your place in Hamburg. But instead of that we’re letting Hans-Hermann dissect our marriage into tiny pieces.”
Our marriage. I looked at my hands. The narrow line that my wedding ring had left behind was nowhere to be seen, thanks to the Sylt sunshine. I thought about Jens.
Then I asked, “And what about Antje?”
“It’s not what you think. It’s just sex, that’s all.”
The distance came back.
“Christine! Don’t look at me so coldly. We have to be able to get past this.”
In need of air, I stood up abruptly. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Marleen was standing in the kitchen, stubbornly polishing glasses. “Who does that rat think he is?”
I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.
“Don’t get worked up. I think he’s sorry about how it all happened.”
“Who can believe that? No, either he wants money or he’s up to something else. I wanted to talk to you about him anyway. Don’t try to tell me he’s been feeling bad about it all, you just wait.”
Her rage surprised me. I took the glass and tea towel from her hand and pushed her in the direction of the front door. Before she reached it she turned around; I went back out onto the terrace. Bernd was just about to start talking again when Marleen walked up. Without a word, she put a glass by Bernd and sat down next to him.
He looked at her, confused.
She looked back. “What’s the problem? I live here, you know.”
I tried to figure out what was going on, but I knew there was something I didn’t understand.
“Marleen, we’re having a kind of peace talk. Your divorce was amicable, after all, and you still meet up with Adrian.”
She reached for my cigarettes.
“That’s because of the children, even if they are grown up now. And besides, Adrian wasn’t so dishonest.”
I felt as though she was going too far, and that I should defend Bernd.
He jumped in first. “Marleen, we’ve known each other for over twenty years now. It’s very nice that you’ve helped Christine so much, but you shouldn’t believe everything that people around here are saying about our separation.”
She slammed her glass down on the table. I flinched. Then she turned towards Bernd and looked at him, her eyes narrowed.
“Okay, I didn’t want to have to bring this up because I find it so unspeakable, but please! I ran into Inge and Frank at the bakery last week. We chatted, and I told Inge that Christine was going to be arriving today.”
I listened to her, but I had no idea what our neighbors could possibly have to do with this. They hadn’t been in touch since I left, even though I’d sent them a card with my new address. Bernd avoided making eye contact with me.
Marleen carried on, looking at me. “Inge reacted very strangely and said that she had no particular desire to see you.”
I was surprised. “But why? I didn’t do anything to them.”
Marleen looked at Bernd with a strange expression, then back at me.
“Inge was shocked that you’d had a lover in Hamburg for the last two years without anyone knowing about it. And then you just picked up and left out of the blue to be with him. Bernd was just lucky that Antje was there to help him through such a difficult time, with
“Well, it wasn’t me that started it all.”
“Christine, I know that. Everything happened so badly; that wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. We were always a good team, and we could still be one too.”
I could feel myself losing the distance from him that had taken so much time and effort to build up.
He took my glass again and carried on talking.
“It’s just seems ridiculous for us to break off contact. We could always meet up when you’re working here, and I’d really love to see your place in Hamburg. But instead of that we’re letting Hans-Hermann dissect our marriage into tiny pieces.”
Our marriage. I looked at my hands. The narrow line that my wedding ring had left behind was nowhere to be seen, thanks to the Sylt sunshine. I thought about Jens.
Then I asked, “And what about Antje?”
“It’s not what you think. It’s just sex, that’s all.”
The distance came back.
“Christine! Don’t look at me so coldly. We have to be able to get past this.”
In need of air, I stood up abruptly. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Marleen was standing in the kitchen, stubbornly polishing glasses. “Who does that rat think he is?”
I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.
“Don’t get worked up. I think he’s sorry about how it all happened.”
“Who can believe that? No, either he wants money or he’s up to something else. I wanted to talk to you about him anyway. Don’t try to tell me he’s been feeling bad about it all, you just wait.”
Her rage surprised me. I took the glass and tea towel from her hand and pushed her in the direction of the front door. Before she reached it she turned around; I went back out onto the terrace. Bernd was just about to start talking again when Marleen walked up. Without a word, she put a glass by Bernd and sat down next to him.
He looked at her, confused.
She looked back. “What’s the problem? I live here, you know.”
I tried to figure out what was going on, but I knew there was something I didn’t understand.
“Marleen, we’re having a kind of peace talk. Your divorce was amicable, after all, and you still meet up with Adrian.”
She reached for my cigarettes.
“That’s because of the children, even if they are grown up now. And besides, Adrian wasn’t so dishonest.”
I felt as though she was going too far, and that I should defend Bernd.
He jumped in first. “Marleen, we’ve known each other for over twenty years now. It’s very nice that you’ve helped Christine so much, but you shouldn’t believe everything that people around here are saying about our separation.”
She slammed her glass down on the table. I flinched. Then she turned towards Bernd and looked at him, her eyes narrowed.
“Okay, I didn’t want to have to bring this up because I find it so unspeakable, but please! I ran into Inge and Frank at the bakery last week. We chatted, and I told Inge that Christine was going to be arriving today.”
I listened to her, but I had no idea what our neighbors could possibly have to do with this. They hadn’t been in touch since I left, even though I’d sent them a card with my new address. Bernd avoided making eye contact with me.
Marleen carried on, looking at me. “Inge reacted very strangely and said that she had no particular desire to see you.”
I was surprised. “But why? I didn’t do anything to them.”
Marleen looked at Bernd with a strange expression, then back at me.
“Inge was shocked that you’d had a lover in Hamburg for the last two years without anyone knowing about it. And then you just picked up and left out of the blue to be with him. Bernd was just lucky that Antje was there to help him through such a difficult time, with
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