Lie Down With Lions by Ken Follett Page B

old enough to date, but not to go steady,” he said. He glanced at her to catch her reaction. She looked amused. Maybe they don’t talk about going steady anymore, he thought.
    When they reached the house, Bernard’s Ford was parked in the driveway. Ellis pulled the Honda in behind it and went in with Petal. Bernard was in the living room. A small man with very short hair, he was good-natured and utterly without imagination. Petal greeted him enthusiastically, hugging and kissing him. He seemed a little embarrassed. He shook Ellis’s hand firmly, saying: “Government still ticking over okay, back in Washington?”
    “Same as always,” Ellis said. They thought that he worked for the State Department and that his job was to read French newspapers and magazines and prepare a daily digest for the France Desk.
    “How about a beer?”
    Ellis did not really want one, but he accepted just to be friendly. Bernard went into the kitchen to get it. He was credit manager for a department store in New York City. Petal seemed to like and respect him, and he was gently affectionate with her. He and Gill had no other children: that fertility specialist had done him no good.
    He came back with two glasses of beer and handed one to Ellis. “Go and do your homework now,” he said to Petal. “Daddy will say good-bye before he leaves.”
    She kissed him again and ran off. When she was out of earshot he said: “She isn’t normally so affectionate. She seems to overdo it when you’re around. I don’t understand it.”
    Ellis understood it only too well, but he did not want to think about it yet. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “How’s business?”
    “Not bad. High interest rates haven’t hit us as badly as we feared they might. It seems that people are still willing to borrow money to buy things—in New York, at least.” He sat down and sipped his beer.
    Ellis always felt that Bernard was physically frightened of him. It showed in the way the man walked around, like a pet dog that is not really allowed indoors, careful to stay an inch or two out of kicking distance.
    They talked about the economy for a few minutes, and Ellis drank his beer as fast as he could, then got up to leave. He went to the foot of the staircase and called: “Bye, Petal.”
    She came to the top of the stairs. “What about having my ears pierced?”
    “Can I think about it?” he said.
    “Sure. Bye.”
    Gill came down the stairs. “I’ll drive you to the airport,” she said.
    Ellis was surprised. “Okay. Thanks.”
    When they were on the road Gill said: “She told me she didn’t want to spend a weekend with you.”
    “Right.”
    “You’re upset, aren’t you?”
    “Does it show?”
    “To me it does. I used to be married to you.” She paused. “I’m sorry, John.”
    “It’s my fault. I didn’t think it through. Before I came along, she had a mommy and a daddy and a home—all any child wants. I’m not just superfluous, though. By being around I threaten her happiness. I’m an intruder, a destabilizing factor. That’s why she hugs Bernard in front of me. She doesn’t mean to hurt me. She does it because she’s afraid of losing him. And it’s me who makes her afraid.”
    “She’ll get over it,” Gill said. “America is full of kids with two daddies.”
    “That’s no excuse. I fucked up, and I should face it.”
    She surprised him again by patting his knee. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said. “You just weren’t made for this. I knew that within a month of marrying you. You don’t want a house, a job, the suburbs, children. You’re a little weird. That’s why I fell in love with you, and that’s why I let you go so readily. I loved you because you were different, crazy, original, exciting. You would do anything. But you’re no family man.”
    He sat in silence, thinking about what she had said, while she drove. It was meant kindly, and for that he was warmly grateful; but was it true? He thought not. I