after the interview disaster. I feel too bad about the whole thing now and I don’t seem to have any more to say.’
‘Well, this is a new time in your life, Di. I think it would really help if you wrote to Princess Di about what you’re going through now. She’d be one person, princess or not, who’d understand a lot of what you’re feeling.’
So, for the first time in weeks, I thought I might write in
The Diana Papers
again and if I did, I’d tell Princess Di about Tatania and Jock. Tatania loved this idea.
‘He’s a royal dog,’ she said, ‘so why not a royal person reading about him? Hey, maybe Princess Di would like to adopt Jock? Would you mind asking her?’ We both burst out laughing.
When we’d calmed down Tatania said she’d call Babs and ask her to bring
The Diana Papers
to the hospital right away. And before she left, she told me that lots of girls don’t face up to having anorexia. Admitting I had a problem was the first big step. She said I was wonderful because I’d admitted to it so readily and that was half the battle. She made me feel so strong, especially when she told me she admired me for this.
Admired me! Admired! I had to turn away when she said this because I don’t think anyone has said anything like that to me in a long, long time. Admired. I don’t think I’m too admirable, but Tatania made me feel I was.
I turned away because I felt I was going to cry. Tatania touched my shoulder but didn’t make a fuss; she just kept rambling on about something, probably Jock. I tried to compose myself as I pretended to be rummaging in a drawer for pen and paper, as if I was going to begin writing straightaway.
15
Dear Princess Diana,
Zoë brought me a picture of you hugging a little African boy. He looked so ill and I wanted to hug him too. And you! You didn’t look super-glamorous like you usually do, and not one bit posed. Just motherly and really loving, it shows in your eyes.
I’m in hospital right now because of my eating disorder but I’m getting better. I’m finding my own path, as my favourite nurse here, Tatania, would say.
I have a feeling you’ve forgiven me for that awful business with the fake interview—I hope so—anyway let’s not go there again.
I spend a lot of my time in hospital talking and I think I’m also starting to listen a bit more than I used to. Tatania’s told me all sorts of things about my sickness. Shesays that anorexia is not uncommon and that one in a hundred women will suffer from it at some time in their lives. That’s a lot! Especially when you think that in a school of 600 like mine, that’d be six girls at least.
Tatania reckons our society is obsessed with super thinness. Not fitness but thinness. It reminds me of my mum’s trainer, Rhonnie, who used to say, ‘Remember fitness not fatness! Concentrate on fitness,’ over and over like a mantra.
Yesterday Tatania told me that boys suffer from eating disorders too. Apparently a lot of boys are worried about looking pumped up and fit.
I can’t imagine it, especially when I think of Zoë’s boyfriend Jason and his friends pigging out at Macca’s most afternoons, but I believe Tatania because she’s so straight about everything.
I’ve never listened to this kind of thing from the doctors who’ve told me, I suppose because I just wasn’t interested. But Tatania says it’s good to know a lot about your own body and mind and to be aware of the society we live in.
‘A lot of people think that being fat goes with laziness and lack of willpower,’ Tatania said.
I had to admit that I had a bit of that attitude myself. I was shocked when Tatania said that often it’s not laziness but repeated dieting that can lead to weight gain!
‘No more eating one apple in small bits so that it lasts all day, Di! You know you have to eat sensibly. You know you’ve been feeling so weak and listless because your electrolyte balance is all out. And I know you’re having visitors now.
‘Well, this is a new time in your life, Di. I think it would really help if you wrote to Princess Di about what you’re going through now. She’d be one person, princess or not, who’d understand a lot of what you’re feeling.’
So, for the first time in weeks, I thought I might write in
The Diana Papers
again and if I did, I’d tell Princess Di about Tatania and Jock. Tatania loved this idea.
‘He’s a royal dog,’ she said, ‘so why not a royal person reading about him? Hey, maybe Princess Di would like to adopt Jock? Would you mind asking her?’ We both burst out laughing.
When we’d calmed down Tatania said she’d call Babs and ask her to bring
The Diana Papers
to the hospital right away. And before she left, she told me that lots of girls don’t face up to having anorexia. Admitting I had a problem was the first big step. She said I was wonderful because I’d admitted to it so readily and that was half the battle. She made me feel so strong, especially when she told me she admired me for this.
Admired me! Admired! I had to turn away when she said this because I don’t think anyone has said anything like that to me in a long, long time. Admired. I don’t think I’m too admirable, but Tatania made me feel I was.
I turned away because I felt I was going to cry. Tatania touched my shoulder but didn’t make a fuss; she just kept rambling on about something, probably Jock. I tried to compose myself as I pretended to be rummaging in a drawer for pen and paper, as if I was going to begin writing straightaway.
15
Dear Princess Diana,
Zoë brought me a picture of you hugging a little African boy. He looked so ill and I wanted to hug him too. And you! You didn’t look super-glamorous like you usually do, and not one bit posed. Just motherly and really loving, it shows in your eyes.
I’m in hospital right now because of my eating disorder but I’m getting better. I’m finding my own path, as my favourite nurse here, Tatania, would say.
I have a feeling you’ve forgiven me for that awful business with the fake interview—I hope so—anyway let’s not go there again.
I spend a lot of my time in hospital talking and I think I’m also starting to listen a bit more than I used to. Tatania’s told me all sorts of things about my sickness. Shesays that anorexia is not uncommon and that one in a hundred women will suffer from it at some time in their lives. That’s a lot! Especially when you think that in a school of 600 like mine, that’d be six girls at least.
Tatania reckons our society is obsessed with super thinness. Not fitness but thinness. It reminds me of my mum’s trainer, Rhonnie, who used to say, ‘Remember fitness not fatness! Concentrate on fitness,’ over and over like a mantra.
Yesterday Tatania told me that boys suffer from eating disorders too. Apparently a lot of boys are worried about looking pumped up and fit.
I can’t imagine it, especially when I think of Zoë’s boyfriend Jason and his friends pigging out at Macca’s most afternoons, but I believe Tatania because she’s so straight about everything.
I’ve never listened to this kind of thing from the doctors who’ve told me, I suppose because I just wasn’t interested. But Tatania says it’s good to know a lot about your own body and mind and to be aware of the society we live in.
‘A lot of people think that being fat goes with laziness and lack of willpower,’ Tatania said.
I had to admit that I had a bit of that attitude myself. I was shocked when Tatania said that often it’s not laziness but repeated dieting that can lead to weight gain!
‘No more eating one apple in small bits so that it lasts all day, Di! You know you have to eat sensibly. You know you’ve been feeling so weak and listless because your electrolyte balance is all out. And I know you’re having visitors now.
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