Letters Home by Rebecca Brooke Page B

but lying next to him made everything real. Part of me had prayed that they were wrong and he was going to show up on our doorstep and everything would be fine. I turned so that I was facing him. “Good-night, Nate. I love you.”
    And I buried my face in my hands and cried myself to sleep.
    Hands shook me awake. I opened my eyes to find Marissa looking down at me, her eyebrows drawn together over clouded eyes, yet she said nothing about my appearance, which was surely a sight after all of yesterday’s crying.
    “Come on, let’s go get you ready.”
    She helped me up and led me to a place to get ready. Before I wanted to, we were back at the chapel, all evidence that I’d spent the night there gone. In the cot’s place were baskets of flowers, a large of picture of Nate, his boots, and his rifle. Just seeing the picture had me walking forward on shaking legs. Marissa led me to the front where Nate’s parents joined me as we waited for the stream of people to begin. The procession of visitors seemed to take forever. So many coming to give me their condolences and thank our family for my husband’s service. At one point, I bit my tongue so hard to keep from yelling at them, I tasted blood. My mom must have noticed my agitation because a few seconds later she was by my side, suggesting a quick break to clear my head.
    “Let’s get a breath of fresh air, shall we?”
    She looped her arm through mine and led the way to the doors. The warmth of the sun hitting my face seemed exactly what I needed to survive the next few hours.
    “I’m so proud of you.”
    The soft sound of my mother’s voice as she spoke was my undoing. My lip began to quiver. She opened her arms to me and I walked right into them, taking the comfort they’d offered me as a child in the same as I was now. To need my mother’s embrace should have made me feel weak. Instead it gave me a strength I didn’t know I had.
    “Nancy? Danielle?” I turned at my father’s voice. “It’s time to start.”
    Mom cupped my face with her hands and looked me in the eye. “You can do this.” Little did she know what I had planned. She might not have been so confident then. Taking a deep breath, I took my first step to the head of the chapel. The memories that flooded me with that step were like a lead weight placed on my chest. I didn’t bother to wipe away the tears as I pushed forward to take my seat with the Lewises. Chaplain Hayes looked at me, the unspoken question in his eyes. Was I sure I wanted to do this? Giving him a slight nod, I waited through his sermon for my chance to speak, my eyes focused on Nate’s picture.
    “We’ve had a request from Sgt. Lewis’ wife, who has something she wants to say,” Chaplain Hayes said to the room.
    I rose slowly from my seat to walk to the podium, but before I could take a step Liam placed a restraining hand on my arm. “Danielle, are you sure?”
    Turning, I looked my brother, his brows drawn together in concern. “Yes. This is something I have to do.”
    After a moment he let go and I made my way to the front. Chaplain Hayes gestured toward the microphone. The room was silent, so many eyes watching me, waiting to hear what I had to say.
    “Thank you so much for coming, everyone. I know this is going to be hard, but the way I see it, many of my husband’s friends are thousands of miles away and I just don’t think he should have to wait until they return for the proper send off, so here goes.” I sucked in a deep breath and spoke directly from my heart—just like Nate asked me to on our wedding day. “Nate was my world. He was my everything, and I was his. He was my sun, and moon, and stars. Since we were seventeen, Nate had been my rock and to be honest, I really don’t know what I’m going to do without him. He loved being a ranger and I was so proud of him for all that he accomplished, even when his job took him away from me. He cheered me through law school, especially when I wanted to give up.