seen a ton of articles about women who slept next to their husbands one last time before their funerals. When Chaplain Hayes came back into the room I explained to him what I wanted to do.
“That’s a very unorthodox request,” he replied. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“This is my last chance to sleep next to him, please don’t take that from me,” I begged, tears thickening my voice.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said with a comforting smile and left the room.
Marissa came up beside me. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I have to,” I told her. She watched me carefully for a moment and then nodded in understanding. “I’ll get Liam home and bring you a change of clothes in the morning.”
“Thank you, Marissa.”
“Always.”
Chaplain Hayes was a miracle worker because he arranged for a small cot to be brought in, as well as a place to shower in the morning.
“All right, we’re going to head home,” Liam said. “If you need anything, I don’t care what time, just call me.”
“I will.”
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Marissa promised.
After they said their goodbyes, Chaplain Hayes sat down next to me. A few moments of silence passed when I turned to him. “Thank you for letting me stay.”
“How could I say no? You had so little time together as husband and wife, you deserve one last night.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Will this pain in my heart ever go away?” Even though I’d spent the afternoon in tears and my body was exhausted, there was a constant throbbing ache. The empathy in his eyes was as comforting as it was heartbreaking.
His hand reached over to squeeze mine. “Only time will let you heal, and while Nate will always be a part of you, there will come a day when your heart doesn’t hurt anymore because it is able to find love in another.”
I shook my head. “Nate was my one and only. I don’t want anyone to replace him.”
“Oh, Danielle, you’re too young to give up on love. Even though it will hurt, you need to live. It’s what Nate would’ve wanted for you. And no one will ever replace him. Nate will always hold a piece of your heart. Just don’t be afraid to give the rest to someone else, someday.”
I nodded, slipping back into silence. The sun was fading and the small lights in the front of the chapel created a soft glow. It was calming as I continued to stare into nothingness. All I could do was think about the funeral, something I wished that I could forget. The worst part was that his friends, the members of his unit, couldn’t be there. They were thousands of miles away but from what I understood from Liam and Chaplain Hayes, they were celebrating Nate’s life in their own way. Of course they would probably hold a memorial service when they returned in two months, but for now strangers would carry his casket. Men he may or may not have served with. It seemed so unfair and impersonal. That’s when I decided that it was up to me to add a personal touch. The question was whether I was strong enough to do it.
Breaking the silence once again, I turned to Chaplain Hayes. “Can I ask one more thing?”
“Of course,” he said.
“I’d like to speak at Nate’s funeral tomorrow.” When I saw him open his mouth to object, I held up my hand to stop him. “I know you’re going to try and talk me out of it, but all of his friends, his brothers, are half a world away and won’t be able to speak on his behalf. I’m all there is.”
He watched me, conflict in his eyes, but after a few moments he stood and nodded. Before he left he placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’re stronger than you think you are. I’ll make the arrangements. If you need anything, there will be a soldier on duty who will be able to find me.”
“Thank you.”
After the chaplain left I lay down on the cot, waiting for sleep to take me, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Nate. It had been the same all week
“That’s a very unorthodox request,” he replied. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“This is my last chance to sleep next to him, please don’t take that from me,” I begged, tears thickening my voice.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said with a comforting smile and left the room.
Marissa came up beside me. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I have to,” I told her. She watched me carefully for a moment and then nodded in understanding. “I’ll get Liam home and bring you a change of clothes in the morning.”
“Thank you, Marissa.”
“Always.”
Chaplain Hayes was a miracle worker because he arranged for a small cot to be brought in, as well as a place to shower in the morning.
“All right, we’re going to head home,” Liam said. “If you need anything, I don’t care what time, just call me.”
“I will.”
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Marissa promised.
After they said their goodbyes, Chaplain Hayes sat down next to me. A few moments of silence passed when I turned to him. “Thank you for letting me stay.”
“How could I say no? You had so little time together as husband and wife, you deserve one last night.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Will this pain in my heart ever go away?” Even though I’d spent the afternoon in tears and my body was exhausted, there was a constant throbbing ache. The empathy in his eyes was as comforting as it was heartbreaking.
His hand reached over to squeeze mine. “Only time will let you heal, and while Nate will always be a part of you, there will come a day when your heart doesn’t hurt anymore because it is able to find love in another.”
I shook my head. “Nate was my one and only. I don’t want anyone to replace him.”
“Oh, Danielle, you’re too young to give up on love. Even though it will hurt, you need to live. It’s what Nate would’ve wanted for you. And no one will ever replace him. Nate will always hold a piece of your heart. Just don’t be afraid to give the rest to someone else, someday.”
I nodded, slipping back into silence. The sun was fading and the small lights in the front of the chapel created a soft glow. It was calming as I continued to stare into nothingness. All I could do was think about the funeral, something I wished that I could forget. The worst part was that his friends, the members of his unit, couldn’t be there. They were thousands of miles away but from what I understood from Liam and Chaplain Hayes, they were celebrating Nate’s life in their own way. Of course they would probably hold a memorial service when they returned in two months, but for now strangers would carry his casket. Men he may or may not have served with. It seemed so unfair and impersonal. That’s when I decided that it was up to me to add a personal touch. The question was whether I was strong enough to do it.
Breaking the silence once again, I turned to Chaplain Hayes. “Can I ask one more thing?”
“Of course,” he said.
“I’d like to speak at Nate’s funeral tomorrow.” When I saw him open his mouth to object, I held up my hand to stop him. “I know you’re going to try and talk me out of it, but all of his friends, his brothers, are half a world away and won’t be able to speak on his behalf. I’m all there is.”
He watched me, conflict in his eyes, but after a few moments he stood and nodded. Before he left he placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’re stronger than you think you are. I’ll make the arrangements. If you need anything, there will be a soldier on duty who will be able to find me.”
“Thank you.”
After the chaplain left I lay down on the cot, waiting for sleep to take me, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Nate. It had been the same all week
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