to the station to drop it off. On the drive there she stared at the old photo album in her lap. Her fingers smoothed over the tattered cover, thinking of what was inside. Page upon page of childhood pictures, proof of happier times when she was young. She couldn’t bear the thought of throwing it out. If her mother didn’t want them, she’d come back later and pick it up herself. It might be the only thing she could salvage from her childhood, and she’d be damned if she’d lose it to the garbage dump too.
Liam glanced at the book but didn’t say anything, though his silence was beginning to wear on her. What must he be thinking about all this? She didn’t know how she was supposed to explain it to him when she barely understood it herself.
“She wasn’t always like this,” she said at last when she couldn’t take the silence anymore.
Liam glanced over and covered her cold fingers with his own, rubbing to warm them. Silently encouraging her to talk.
She struggled to speak past the restriction in her throat. “After my dad left she became kind of a pack rat, but things didn’t get serious until a few years ago when one of her exes walked out. Then it was like she wanted to barricade herself behind a wall of things . There’s no underlying diagnosis of schizophrenia or anything, just severe depression.” And don’t I know how that feels? “The psychologists told me she hoards because it makes her feel safe, gives her a sense of control over her life when she can’t control anything else. Somehow in her mind, the five seconds of pleasure she derives from bringing home another of her treasures outweighs everything else.”
She swallowed, searching for the words she needed to say next, no matter how much the truth hurt. “But now it’s… I can’t help her anymore. No one can, unless she wants to change. I thought this last time with the help that she’d be able to do it, but I guess not. Now she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
The awful finality of it ripped through her like a razor blade. She exhaled hard and bit her lip, but tears welled up anyway. It humiliated her.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said softly, pulling his hand free of hers to wrap around the back of her neck. His strong fingers kneaded the knotted muscles, rubbing in a soothing motion, making her want to crawl into his lap and burrow in close. He was loyal, so strong and dependable. His whole family was like that. Did they realize how lucky they were?
Scrubbing angrily at her eyes, she fought to get control over herself. Liam must think she was a head case, same as her mother. “Her condition isn’t genetic,” she said quickly. “Just in case you were worried about me being like that. I’m not.”
He snorted like she’d insulted him. “Jesus, cut it out, Tal. You piss me off when you say stupid things like that.”
Well, she’d rather have him pissed off than keep doing the knight-in-shining-armor routine. At least she knew how to deal with anger.
At the station, Talia took the box in and left it at the reception desk, unable to stand the thought of confronting her mother again. Staring into those cold, bitter eyes and being told she never wanted to see Talia again would crush her.
Heading back out to the parking lot, Talia felt almost hollow inside. Was it really over? Was she really never going to have contact with her mother again? It didn’t seem real. She couldn’t just turn her back and walk away, no matter how much the experts had urged her to.
Liam studied her in silence when she climbed back into the truck and shut the door. His scrutiny scraped over her raw nerves. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. But you’re going to be.”
The sincerity in his tone eased something inside her. He believed in her. Yes, she would be okay. Because she was a survivor. While she was grateful for his presence and all the help he’d given her, she hated that Liam of all people had been around to witness her at her worst. She cringed at
Liam glanced at the book but didn’t say anything, though his silence was beginning to wear on her. What must he be thinking about all this? She didn’t know how she was supposed to explain it to him when she barely understood it herself.
“She wasn’t always like this,” she said at last when she couldn’t take the silence anymore.
Liam glanced over and covered her cold fingers with his own, rubbing to warm them. Silently encouraging her to talk.
She struggled to speak past the restriction in her throat. “After my dad left she became kind of a pack rat, but things didn’t get serious until a few years ago when one of her exes walked out. Then it was like she wanted to barricade herself behind a wall of things . There’s no underlying diagnosis of schizophrenia or anything, just severe depression.” And don’t I know how that feels? “The psychologists told me she hoards because it makes her feel safe, gives her a sense of control over her life when she can’t control anything else. Somehow in her mind, the five seconds of pleasure she derives from bringing home another of her treasures outweighs everything else.”
She swallowed, searching for the words she needed to say next, no matter how much the truth hurt. “But now it’s… I can’t help her anymore. No one can, unless she wants to change. I thought this last time with the help that she’d be able to do it, but I guess not. Now she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
The awful finality of it ripped through her like a razor blade. She exhaled hard and bit her lip, but tears welled up anyway. It humiliated her.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said softly, pulling his hand free of hers to wrap around the back of her neck. His strong fingers kneaded the knotted muscles, rubbing in a soothing motion, making her want to crawl into his lap and burrow in close. He was loyal, so strong and dependable. His whole family was like that. Did they realize how lucky they were?
Scrubbing angrily at her eyes, she fought to get control over herself. Liam must think she was a head case, same as her mother. “Her condition isn’t genetic,” she said quickly. “Just in case you were worried about me being like that. I’m not.”
He snorted like she’d insulted him. “Jesus, cut it out, Tal. You piss me off when you say stupid things like that.”
Well, she’d rather have him pissed off than keep doing the knight-in-shining-armor routine. At least she knew how to deal with anger.
At the station, Talia took the box in and left it at the reception desk, unable to stand the thought of confronting her mother again. Staring into those cold, bitter eyes and being told she never wanted to see Talia again would crush her.
Heading back out to the parking lot, Talia felt almost hollow inside. Was it really over? Was she really never going to have contact with her mother again? It didn’t seem real. She couldn’t just turn her back and walk away, no matter how much the experts had urged her to.
Liam studied her in silence when she climbed back into the truck and shut the door. His scrutiny scraped over her raw nerves. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. But you’re going to be.”
The sincerity in his tone eased something inside her. He believed in her. Yes, she would be okay. Because she was a survivor. While she was grateful for his presence and all the help he’d given her, she hated that Liam of all people had been around to witness her at her worst. She cringed at
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