a way that said they were intimate, not estranged.
He leaned across the table and said something else to Caroline and they both laughed again. The real kicker came when he grabbed Amy’s hand.
It was as if I was watching a train wreck.
Had he been playing me?
“Alex,” my mom’s voice snapped me out of my gawking.
I glanced in her direction. “Yeah?”
Her eyebrows bunched and my dad was staring at me as well. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
I smiled. “I’m fine. I thought I saw someone from one of my old classes, but I don’t think it was her.”
They both nodded, slowly, so I went on, “I promise. You know how it is when you haven’t seen someone in a while and you’re wondering whether it’s really them or someone else? It just turned out to be someone else.”
I wish.
“Okay,” my dad said, completely placated by my answer. My mom didn’t seem as convinced, but resumed eating. I forced myself to eat my food and participate in conversation, but with every passing moment, I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t get home fast enough.
***
Once my parents dropped me off at my apartment, I pulled my phone out of my purse and texted Javier.
Me: I’m really tired and not feeling well. I’m going to bed. I’ll just see you tomorrow.
He didn’t immediately text me back, but I didn’t expect him to. He was having a fun night with his family, which I was sure he would conclude by fucking his wife.
I climbed in the shower and let the hot water rush over my skin as I sank to the bottom of the tub. Under the spray of the water, sobs racked my body. The tears poured from my eyes, and I let all of my feelings free. I wanted,
needed
, Javier, but so did Caroline. I cried for our situation, and the hurt I felt while seeing him touch his wife.
The shower curtain zipped down the rod and Javier stood, staring at me. His eyes were flashing and he was breathing heavily, as if he had ran to my apartment. “Alexandria,” he said, bending to gather me in his arms. Water splashed on his shirt, the same shirt he’d been wearing at the restaurant.
He brushed my wet hair off my face as I stared at him, speechless. “What’s wrong? You tell me not to come over and you’re crying.”
“Javier…” I trailed off as a sob tore from my chest. I loved that he had come to me, but I hated it as well. I hated that I needed him. That he could tear me up on the inside.
He reached over and turned the water off, then lifted me in his arms. Setting me down on my feet, he grabbed a clean towel and dried me off. I was entranced by his movements—incapable of speaking.
Once he was satisfied with his work, he picked me up again and carried me to bed. “I’m going to make you some hot tea. You’re freezing.” He made sure I was completely covered by the sheet and comforter, then left the room.
I lay there and closed my eyes. My nerves felt shot, raw, and my heart was beating rapidly. I tried to control my breathing as more tears leaked from my eyes.
“Here,” Javier said as the bed dipped. I opened my eyes and was met with concern in his as he handed me the cup.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, grabbing the warm cup of tea. I took a sip and let the liquid slide down my throat and warm my insides. After savoring another swallow, I finally asked, “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” he asked, irritation lacing his voice. He grabbed the cup from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. “What I’m doing,” he responded, “is checking on my girlfriend.”
I closed my eyes at his sentiment, feeling calmer. “I told you I was tired and you shouldn’t come.”
“You also said you weren’t feeling well and I found you crying your eyes out. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing.”
Leaning his forehead against mine, he said, “Tell me. You wanted a relationship and you’ve got one. Fucking tell me what’s wrong.”
His choice of words ticked me off. “I’m sorry I pushed you into
He leaned across the table and said something else to Caroline and they both laughed again. The real kicker came when he grabbed Amy’s hand.
It was as if I was watching a train wreck.
Had he been playing me?
“Alex,” my mom’s voice snapped me out of my gawking.
I glanced in her direction. “Yeah?”
Her eyebrows bunched and my dad was staring at me as well. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
I smiled. “I’m fine. I thought I saw someone from one of my old classes, but I don’t think it was her.”
They both nodded, slowly, so I went on, “I promise. You know how it is when you haven’t seen someone in a while and you’re wondering whether it’s really them or someone else? It just turned out to be someone else.”
I wish.
“Okay,” my dad said, completely placated by my answer. My mom didn’t seem as convinced, but resumed eating. I forced myself to eat my food and participate in conversation, but with every passing moment, I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t get home fast enough.
***
Once my parents dropped me off at my apartment, I pulled my phone out of my purse and texted Javier.
Me: I’m really tired and not feeling well. I’m going to bed. I’ll just see you tomorrow.
He didn’t immediately text me back, but I didn’t expect him to. He was having a fun night with his family, which I was sure he would conclude by fucking his wife.
I climbed in the shower and let the hot water rush over my skin as I sank to the bottom of the tub. Under the spray of the water, sobs racked my body. The tears poured from my eyes, and I let all of my feelings free. I wanted,
needed
, Javier, but so did Caroline. I cried for our situation, and the hurt I felt while seeing him touch his wife.
The shower curtain zipped down the rod and Javier stood, staring at me. His eyes were flashing and he was breathing heavily, as if he had ran to my apartment. “Alexandria,” he said, bending to gather me in his arms. Water splashed on his shirt, the same shirt he’d been wearing at the restaurant.
He brushed my wet hair off my face as I stared at him, speechless. “What’s wrong? You tell me not to come over and you’re crying.”
“Javier…” I trailed off as a sob tore from my chest. I loved that he had come to me, but I hated it as well. I hated that I needed him. That he could tear me up on the inside.
He reached over and turned the water off, then lifted me in his arms. Setting me down on my feet, he grabbed a clean towel and dried me off. I was entranced by his movements—incapable of speaking.
Once he was satisfied with his work, he picked me up again and carried me to bed. “I’m going to make you some hot tea. You’re freezing.” He made sure I was completely covered by the sheet and comforter, then left the room.
I lay there and closed my eyes. My nerves felt shot, raw, and my heart was beating rapidly. I tried to control my breathing as more tears leaked from my eyes.
“Here,” Javier said as the bed dipped. I opened my eyes and was met with concern in his as he handed me the cup.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, grabbing the warm cup of tea. I took a sip and let the liquid slide down my throat and warm my insides. After savoring another swallow, I finally asked, “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” he asked, irritation lacing his voice. He grabbed the cup from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. “What I’m doing,” he responded, “is checking on my girlfriend.”
I closed my eyes at his sentiment, feeling calmer. “I told you I was tired and you shouldn’t come.”
“You also said you weren’t feeling well and I found you crying your eyes out. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing.”
Leaning his forehead against mine, he said, “Tell me. You wanted a relationship and you’ve got one. Fucking tell me what’s wrong.”
His choice of words ticked me off. “I’m sorry I pushed you into
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