against the headboard. I slide over next to Web so I can lean against it, too. We stretch our legs out in front of us. Web starts to make his feet move to the music. Jess and I copy him. Our feet look like six little dancers moving in sync. We don’t say much. I vaguely remember Web getting us more drinks and the room feeling hazy.
The next thing I know, I’m waking up in a bed with a wastebasket next to my head and the taste of throw-up in my mouth. Something warm leans against my back. It’s dark in the room. I don’t know where I am at first, but I recognize Web’s bedspread. The warm thing against me moves and makes a grumbling noise.
“Oh, God.” I sit up. My heart and head throb in unison. I’ve never felt this ill in my life. I try to check my watch, but it’s too dark to see. I scan the room for Web’s digital clock. The orange numbers read 9:15.
Web’s hand touches my shoulder and gently pulls me back down beside him.
He rubs my back softly in tiny little circles, sending shivers down my belly and between my legs. I know the feeling, but it is so much better this time, without the fear. Or shame. I will him to roll me over and kiss me, even if my head is splitting.
Look at me now, Leah,
I think automatically, happily.
“Are you OK?” Web asks softly.
I nod, trying to replay the night and figure out how we ended up in this bed together. I still have all my clothes on, but I hope something happened. Anything. I love the way Web smiles. The way he looks at me. The way he pays attention to me. Being next to him now seems almost too good to be true.
Web’s fingers travel up and down my back.
Don’t let him be another Jeffrey Scotto,
I tell myself. I hear Leah’s voice,
If he really liked you, he would have held
your
hand.
“That feels so good,” I say, breaking the silence.
Keep doing it.
The fingers move in circles.
“You feeling OK?” Web asks softly.
“Mmm-hmm,”
I say, ignoring my pounding head. I want so badly to roll over and kiss him, but I can only imagine what my breath must smell like if I was sick.
His hand moves to my head, and he gently brushes my hair away from the side of my face. I will him to put his hand on my shoulder and roll me over to face him.
But then there’s a moan from the floor.
“Ick!” It’s Jess. “The fairies have been making sweaters on my teeth.”
My heart sinks.
“How’d you get down there?” he asks.
He moves closer to me and kisses the back of my head before pulling his hand away.
Quick! Roll over and kiss him back!
I scream at myself. But I can’t. Not with Jess here.
When she moves in next to us, I realize Web was just making room for her when he got closer to me. He rolls over and I hear him kiss her, too.
These were “just friends” kisses. “Just friends” back rubs. Just friends. Just nothing.
Thank God I didn’t try to kiss him and make a total fool out of myself.
If he really liked you …
Web stands up and stretches. “Breakfast or dinner?” he asks.
Jess and I get up slowly, groaning and pretending our heads hurt even more than they do. In the kitchen, the three of us sit at the table, drinking coffee and eating Pop-Tarts. Jess gives me a long list of excuses I can tell my parents for not calling and telling them I would be late. Web chooses which ones he thinks have the best chance of working. We talk as if we’ve always been friends. At first I hope Web will give me a special look that says maybe we could be more than friends, but I don’t get one. After a while, I forget to watch for it. I just feel happy that somehow I made it to this place, this table, with these people.
As they talk and laugh with me, I watch them as if they are strangers and my only friends in the world all at the same time.
The Saturday before school starts, Web calls me.
“We have a date tonight,” he says.
My heart flutters. All week I’ve been reliving that moment on his bed, his body spooning mine, even if it was a “just
The next thing I know, I’m waking up in a bed with a wastebasket next to my head and the taste of throw-up in my mouth. Something warm leans against my back. It’s dark in the room. I don’t know where I am at first, but I recognize Web’s bedspread. The warm thing against me moves and makes a grumbling noise.
“Oh, God.” I sit up. My heart and head throb in unison. I’ve never felt this ill in my life. I try to check my watch, but it’s too dark to see. I scan the room for Web’s digital clock. The orange numbers read 9:15.
Web’s hand touches my shoulder and gently pulls me back down beside him.
He rubs my back softly in tiny little circles, sending shivers down my belly and between my legs. I know the feeling, but it is so much better this time, without the fear. Or shame. I will him to roll me over and kiss me, even if my head is splitting.
Look at me now, Leah,
I think automatically, happily.
“Are you OK?” Web asks softly.
I nod, trying to replay the night and figure out how we ended up in this bed together. I still have all my clothes on, but I hope something happened. Anything. I love the way Web smiles. The way he looks at me. The way he pays attention to me. Being next to him now seems almost too good to be true.
Web’s fingers travel up and down my back.
Don’t let him be another Jeffrey Scotto,
I tell myself. I hear Leah’s voice,
If he really liked you, he would have held
your
hand.
“That feels so good,” I say, breaking the silence.
Keep doing it.
The fingers move in circles.
“You feeling OK?” Web asks softly.
“Mmm-hmm,”
I say, ignoring my pounding head. I want so badly to roll over and kiss him, but I can only imagine what my breath must smell like if I was sick.
His hand moves to my head, and he gently brushes my hair away from the side of my face. I will him to put his hand on my shoulder and roll me over to face him.
But then there’s a moan from the floor.
“Ick!” It’s Jess. “The fairies have been making sweaters on my teeth.”
My heart sinks.
“How’d you get down there?” he asks.
He moves closer to me and kisses the back of my head before pulling his hand away.
Quick! Roll over and kiss him back!
I scream at myself. But I can’t. Not with Jess here.
When she moves in next to us, I realize Web was just making room for her when he got closer to me. He rolls over and I hear him kiss her, too.
These were “just friends” kisses. “Just friends” back rubs. Just friends. Just nothing.
Thank God I didn’t try to kiss him and make a total fool out of myself.
If he really liked you …
Web stands up and stretches. “Breakfast or dinner?” he asks.
Jess and I get up slowly, groaning and pretending our heads hurt even more than they do. In the kitchen, the three of us sit at the table, drinking coffee and eating Pop-Tarts. Jess gives me a long list of excuses I can tell my parents for not calling and telling them I would be late. Web chooses which ones he thinks have the best chance of working. We talk as if we’ve always been friends. At first I hope Web will give me a special look that says maybe we could be more than friends, but I don’t get one. After a while, I forget to watch for it. I just feel happy that somehow I made it to this place, this table, with these people.
As they talk and laugh with me, I watch them as if they are strangers and my only friends in the world all at the same time.
The Saturday before school starts, Web calls me.
“We have a date tonight,” he says.
My heart flutters. All week I’ve been reliving that moment on his bed, his body spooning mine, even if it was a “just
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