Lauren Ipsum: A Story About Computer Science and Other Improbable Things by Carlos Bueno

different paths.”
    “Oh! It’s the Power of Two again. But this time it gets bigger instead of
smaller,” Laurie said.
    “Exactly right. You are currently on the path to Things that are Familiar, Old,
Interesting, Mostly Lost, Bigger Than You, and Smaller Than a Mountain,” said Tortoise.
“I suppose I am one of them.”
    “So how do I choose which forks to take?”
    “I suggest choosing wisely. Good day, Miss Ipsum.” Tortoise turned and walked
slowly and steadily down the left-hand path.
    “Wait! I don’t know what you mean!” Laurie ran after him. Catching up with a
Tortoise should have been easy. But with every step he got farther and farther away. By the time
Laurie got to the next fork, he was nowhere to be seen.
    FRIENDLY | UNFRIENDLY
    “What do you think, Xor? Which way?”
    “Do you really want to see a Garden full of Unfriendly Things?”
    “Good point.” She went left.
    IN THE AIR | ON THE GROUND
    They didn’t want to see anything bigger than them that also could fly, no matter how
Friendly. Anyway, Tortoise was on the ground.
    LIGHT | HEAVY
    “Heavy for sure!” shouted Xor.
    LIVES OUTSIDE | LIVES
INSIDE
    “Tortoises live outside, don’t they?” Now that she thought about it, Laurie
wasn’t completely sure. But it seemed like a good guess!
    NEVER SLEEPS | SOMETIMES
SLEEPS
    “And they definitely sleep,” said Xor. Right they went.
    SLEEPS AT NIGHT | SLEEPS DURING THE
DAY
    “Sleeps at Night!” Laurie shouted. “We should be getting
close!”
    MANY COLORS | ONE COLOR
    Laurie ran down the left-hand path without stopping to think. But wasn’t Tortoise only
one color? It was too late to go back.
    QUIET | NOISY
    “I don’t like Noisy Things,” she said. “Tortoise is pretty
quiet.”
    PLURAL | SINGULAR
    “What does that mean?” “ Plural means more than one. Singular means only one,” Xor said. They went right.
    NATIVE | FOREIGN
    “I know this one,” said Laurie. “ Native means from
here. Foreign means from somewhere else. Native!”
    EXPECTED | UNEXPECTED
    “I wonder where we’ll end up,” she said as they turned right. “What is
Familiar, Old, Interesting, Mostly Lost, Bigger Than Me but Smaller Than a Mountain and Shorter Than
a Lighthouse, Friendly, On the Ground, Heavy, Lives Outside, Sleeps at Night—” (she
paused to breathe) “—has Many Colors and is Quiet, Singular, Native, and Unexpected?”
    YOUR WISH | SOMEONE ELSE’S
WISH
    “MY wish!” said Xor and Laurie at the same time. They giggled and walked down the
left path. The next sign made them think for a moment. It asked
    ARE YOU SURE?
    YES | NO
    “Sure, I’m sure!” said Laurie. “Why would I ever want someone
else’s wish?” She went down the left-hand path. “I think we’re almost
through the Garden, Xor!”
    She started walking fast, then jogging, then running again down the long green hallway. Xor
was getting excited too, turning all sorts of polka-dot colors. Laurie was already thinking about
what messages she wanted to send to Fresnel, and Tinker, and—
    “Oh no!”
    Laurie stopped dead in her tracks. In front of them was another forking. The last one.
    The left-hand sign said
    HAMILTON (LAURIE’S WISH)
    And the right-hand sign said
    AUNT VANA (XOR’S WISH)
    “The Garden guessed my wish!” Laurie said.
    “Mine, too,” Xor said.
    Laurie started to go left, then stopped. Then she started to go right, but had second
thoughts. They stood there for a very long and very silent minute.
    “We can only take one path,” said the girl.
    “Yeah,” the lizard replied.
    “And there’s no going back.”
    “That’s the rule.”
    “You really want to find your aunt,” Laurie said.
    “And you really want to go back home,” Xor sighed.
    “That means we have to choose,” Laurie said. “But how?” She did want
to go home, but she also wanted Xor to find Aunt Vana. She wanted to bring Xor and Vana home with
her and how cool would that be and—
    “No, Laurie,” Xor said sadly. “It means