cereal killer.
Q: Why did the baseball player go to jail?
A: He stole second base.
Q: Why couldn’t the twelve-year-old go to the pirate movie?
A: It was rated arrrgh.
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity?
A: He was shocked.
Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A: Nacho cheese.
Q: How much did the butcher charge for his venison?
A: A buck.
Q: What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
A: Thunderwear.
Q: How did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb?
A: He got a bright idea.
Q: Why did the lettuce win the race?
A: He was a head.
Q: Where did the most talkative people in the Bible live?
A: Babylon (babble on).
Q: Why was the broom late for school?
A: It over-swept.
Q: What did the alien say to the flower bed?
A: “Take me to your weeder.”
Q: What kind of button won’t you find at a sewing store?
A: A belly button.
Q: Why did the lady throw her butter out the window?
A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
Q: Why did the ninja go to the doctor?
A: He had kung-flu.
Q: What did the grape do when the lemon asked for a kiss?
A: It puckered up.
Q: Why couldn’t the monster go to sleep?
A: It was afraid there were kids under the bed.
Q: How long does it take to count four times infinity?
A: Four-ever.
Q: Who fills your tank at the gas station?
A: Philip (fill up).
Q: What is an alien’s favorite kind of candy?
A: A Mars bar.
Q: How do you get a skeleton to laugh out loud?
A: Tickle its funny bone.
Q: What do you take before every meal?
A: You take a seat.
Q: What did the mother corn say to her children?
A: “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears.”
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
A: It was just a stage he was going through.
Q: What did the tomato say to the mushroom?
A: “You look like a fungi.”
Q: Why are babies so good at basketball?
A: Because they like to dribble.
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with a “t.”
Student: Today and tomorrow.
Teacher: Billy, you missed school yesterday.
Billy: Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t miss it that much at all.
Fred: Today the teacher was yelling at me for something I didn’t do.
Mike: What was that?
Fred: My homework.
Q: Why did the cookie complain about feeling sick?
A: He was feeling crummy.
Q: Why is spaghetti the smartest food there is?
A: It always uses its noodle.
Q: What do you call a student who never turns in his math homework on time?
A: A calcu-later.
Q: How did the karate teacher greet his students?
A: “Hi-Yah!”
Q: Why did the bed wear a disguise?
A: It was undercover.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick.
Q: When do pine trees like to do embroidery?
A: When they do needlepoint.
Q: What is a baby’s motto?
A: If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.
Q: Where do you keep your jokes?
A: In a giggle box.
Q: Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?
A: She was on a crash diet.
Q: Why did the hot dog turn down the chance to star in a movie?
A: None of the roles (rolls) were good enough.
Josh: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Anna: What about it?
Josh: It has great food but no atmosphere.
Q: What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath?
A: Stinkerbell.
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: “Do you want to go out tonight?”
Q: What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable?
A: A leek.
Q: How did the French fry propose to the hamburger?
A: He gave her an onion ring.
Q: What has four legs and one head but only one foot?
A: A bed.
Q: What do potatoes wear to bed?
A: Yammies.
Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
A: A bana na na na na na!
Q: Why was the metal wire so upset?
A: It was getting all bent out of shape over nothing.
Q: What do you call the story of the three little pigs?
A: A pigtail.
Q: What did the peanut butter say to the bread?
A: “Quit loafing around.”
Q: What did the bread say back to the
Q: Why did the baseball player go to jail?
A: He stole second base.
Q: Why couldn’t the twelve-year-old go to the pirate movie?
A: It was rated arrrgh.
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity?
A: He was shocked.
Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A: Nacho cheese.
Q: How much did the butcher charge for his venison?
A: A buck.
Q: What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
A: Thunderwear.
Q: How did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb?
A: He got a bright idea.
Q: Why did the lettuce win the race?
A: He was a head.
Q: Where did the most talkative people in the Bible live?
A: Babylon (babble on).
Q: Why was the broom late for school?
A: It over-swept.
Q: What did the alien say to the flower bed?
A: “Take me to your weeder.”
Q: What kind of button won’t you find at a sewing store?
A: A belly button.
Q: Why did the lady throw her butter out the window?
A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
Q: Why did the ninja go to the doctor?
A: He had kung-flu.
Q: What did the grape do when the lemon asked for a kiss?
A: It puckered up.
Q: Why couldn’t the monster go to sleep?
A: It was afraid there were kids under the bed.
Q: How long does it take to count four times infinity?
A: Four-ever.
Q: Who fills your tank at the gas station?
A: Philip (fill up).
Q: What is an alien’s favorite kind of candy?
A: A Mars bar.
Q: How do you get a skeleton to laugh out loud?
A: Tickle its funny bone.
Q: What do you take before every meal?
A: You take a seat.
Q: What did the mother corn say to her children?
A: “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears.”
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
A: It was just a stage he was going through.
Q: What did the tomato say to the mushroom?
A: “You look like a fungi.”
Q: Why are babies so good at basketball?
A: Because they like to dribble.
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with a “t.”
Student: Today and tomorrow.
Teacher: Billy, you missed school yesterday.
Billy: Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t miss it that much at all.
Fred: Today the teacher was yelling at me for something I didn’t do.
Mike: What was that?
Fred: My homework.
Q: Why did the cookie complain about feeling sick?
A: He was feeling crummy.
Q: Why is spaghetti the smartest food there is?
A: It always uses its noodle.
Q: What do you call a student who never turns in his math homework on time?
A: A calcu-later.
Q: How did the karate teacher greet his students?
A: “Hi-Yah!”
Q: Why did the bed wear a disguise?
A: It was undercover.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick.
Q: When do pine trees like to do embroidery?
A: When they do needlepoint.
Q: What is a baby’s motto?
A: If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.
Q: Where do you keep your jokes?
A: In a giggle box.
Q: Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?
A: She was on a crash diet.
Q: Why did the hot dog turn down the chance to star in a movie?
A: None of the roles (rolls) were good enough.
Josh: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Anna: What about it?
Josh: It has great food but no atmosphere.
Q: What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath?
A: Stinkerbell.
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: “Do you want to go out tonight?”
Q: What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable?
A: A leek.
Q: How did the French fry propose to the hamburger?
A: He gave her an onion ring.
Q: What has four legs and one head but only one foot?
A: A bed.
Q: What do potatoes wear to bed?
A: Yammies.
Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
A: A bana na na na na na!
Q: Why was the metal wire so upset?
A: It was getting all bent out of shape over nothing.
Q: What do you call the story of the three little pigs?
A: A pigtail.
Q: What did the peanut butter say to the bread?
A: “Quit loafing around.”
Q: What did the bread say back to the
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