you reach a book in an emergency?
A: Call its pager.
Q: Who helped the monster go to the ball?
A: Its scary godmother.
Q: Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?
A: It didn’t want to peel.
Q: Where does a ship go when it’s not feeling well?
A: To see the dock-tor.
Q: Why was the nose feeling sad?
A: It was tired of getting picked on.
Q: What did the elevator say to its friend?
A: “I think I’m coming down with something.”
Q: Why did Billy have a hot dog in his shoe?
A: It was a foot-long.
Q: What gets wet while it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A: With a cabbage patch.
Q: What do you call a silly doorbell?
A: A ding-dong.
Q: What did the sock say to the foot?
A: “Shoe!”
Q: When do you stop at green and go on red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other?
A: “Let’s stick together.”
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: “Let’s meet at the corner!”
Q: Did you hear about the red ship and blue ship that collided?
A: All the sailors were marooned.
Q: Why did the girl need a ladder to go to school?
A: Because it was high school.
Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships.
Q: What does a computer do when it’s tired?
A: It crashes.
Q: What did the tooth fairy use to fix her wand?
A: Toothpaste.
Q: Why did the computer get glasses?
A: To improve his web sight.
Q: What stays in the corner but travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: What did the computer say when it fell into quicksand?
A: “Help me! I’m syncing!”
Q: What do you get when you have two doctors at once?
A: Pair-a-medics.
Q: What should you do when you get in a jam?
A: Grab some bread and peanut butter.
Q: How can you go surfing in the kitchen?
A: On a micro-wave.
Q: Why was everyone looking up at the ceiling and cheering?
A: They were ceiling fans.
Q: Why did the cowboy go out and buy a wiener dog?
A: Because someone told him to “get a long , little doggie.”
Q: What is a trombone’s favorite playground equipment?
A: The slide.
Q: How can you keep someone in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.
Q: What happened to the beans when they showed up late to work?
A: They got canned.
Q: Why can’t you take anything balloons say seriously?
A: They’re always full of hot air.
Q: What happens when you phone a clown three times?
A: You get a three-ring circus.
Q: What do you get when you have breakfast with a centipede?
A: Pancakes and legs.
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of picnics?
A: A basket case.
Q: How does an Eskimo fix his broken toys?
A: With igloo.
Q: What kind of flowers are great friends?
A: Rose buds.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tuba, a drum, and a spare tire?
A: A rubber band.
Q: Why did the lady sing lullabies to her purse?
A: She wanted a sleeping bag.
Q: What did the orange say to the banana when they were looking for the apple?
A: Keep your eyes peeled.
Q: Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.
Q: What kinds of teeth cost money?
A: Buck teeth.
Q: What do you call a dentist who cleans an alligator’s teeth?
A: Crazy!
Q: If a snake married an undertaker, what would they embroider on their towels?
A: Hiss and Hearse (his and hers).
Q: What is the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids won’t eat their broccoli.
Q: What do elves learn in kindergarten?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What kind of beans don’t grow in a garden?
A: Jelly beans.
Q: Why can’t a nose be twelve inches long?
A: If it was, then it would be a foot.
Q: When does your dinner never get hot?
A: When it’s chili.
Q: Why did the boys shoot their BB guns in the air?
A: They wanted to shoot the breeze.
Q: Why were the Cheerios scared of the man?
A: He was a
A: Call its pager.
Q: Who helped the monster go to the ball?
A: Its scary godmother.
Q: Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?
A: It didn’t want to peel.
Q: Where does a ship go when it’s not feeling well?
A: To see the dock-tor.
Q: Why was the nose feeling sad?
A: It was tired of getting picked on.
Q: What did the elevator say to its friend?
A: “I think I’m coming down with something.”
Q: Why did Billy have a hot dog in his shoe?
A: It was a foot-long.
Q: What gets wet while it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A: With a cabbage patch.
Q: What do you call a silly doorbell?
A: A ding-dong.
Q: What did the sock say to the foot?
A: “Shoe!”
Q: When do you stop at green and go on red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other?
A: “Let’s stick together.”
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: “Let’s meet at the corner!”
Q: Did you hear about the red ship and blue ship that collided?
A: All the sailors were marooned.
Q: Why did the girl need a ladder to go to school?
A: Because it was high school.
Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships.
Q: What does a computer do when it’s tired?
A: It crashes.
Q: What did the tooth fairy use to fix her wand?
A: Toothpaste.
Q: Why did the computer get glasses?
A: To improve his web sight.
Q: What stays in the corner but travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: What did the computer say when it fell into quicksand?
A: “Help me! I’m syncing!”
Q: What do you get when you have two doctors at once?
A: Pair-a-medics.
Q: What should you do when you get in a jam?
A: Grab some bread and peanut butter.
Q: How can you go surfing in the kitchen?
A: On a micro-wave.
Q: Why was everyone looking up at the ceiling and cheering?
A: They were ceiling fans.
Q: Why did the cowboy go out and buy a wiener dog?
A: Because someone told him to “get a long , little doggie.”
Q: What is a trombone’s favorite playground equipment?
A: The slide.
Q: How can you keep someone in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.
Q: What happened to the beans when they showed up late to work?
A: They got canned.
Q: Why can’t you take anything balloons say seriously?
A: They’re always full of hot air.
Q: What happens when you phone a clown three times?
A: You get a three-ring circus.
Q: What do you get when you have breakfast with a centipede?
A: Pancakes and legs.
Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of picnics?
A: A basket case.
Q: How does an Eskimo fix his broken toys?
A: With igloo.
Q: What kind of flowers are great friends?
A: Rose buds.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tuba, a drum, and a spare tire?
A: A rubber band.
Q: Why did the lady sing lullabies to her purse?
A: She wanted a sleeping bag.
Q: What did the orange say to the banana when they were looking for the apple?
A: Keep your eyes peeled.
Q: Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.
Q: What kinds of teeth cost money?
A: Buck teeth.
Q: What do you call a dentist who cleans an alligator’s teeth?
A: Crazy!
Q: If a snake married an undertaker, what would they embroider on their towels?
A: Hiss and Hearse (his and hers).
Q: What is the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids won’t eat their broccoli.
Q: What do elves learn in kindergarten?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What kind of beans don’t grow in a garden?
A: Jelly beans.
Q: Why can’t a nose be twelve inches long?
A: If it was, then it would be a foot.
Q: When does your dinner never get hot?
A: When it’s chili.
Q: Why did the boys shoot their BB guns in the air?
A: They wanted to shoot the breeze.
Q: Why were the Cheerios scared of the man?
A: He was a
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