“ ‘A potable to lend physicality to the will of the mind,’ ” she whispered.
“It’s kind of a long way to say telekinesis,” Zane said. “But then again, telekinesis is kind of a long way to say telekinesis.”
She suddenly remembered they weren’t alone. “Wait. There are witnesses—”
He waved her off. “Ernie,” he called, “you don’t see anything, right?”
Ernie, now spread across three chairs, rolled over and scratched himself.
“See?” said Zane. “We’re fine. Now grab your coat. Or hell”—he gestured toward the back room—“I’ll get it for you.”
Her coat reeled into the room as if on an invisible fishing line, depositing itself neatly over her shoulders.
“Trina!” Zane called.
“Scrubbing,” Trina said from the bathroom.
“You said it was a pretty quiet night, right?”
Trina poked out her head. “Yup.”
“Congratulations,” Zane said. “You’re promoted back to bartender!”
“Thank God,” Trina said.
“You’re welcome.” Zane gave her a thumbs-up. “Can you handle the post-closing-time patrol? I’ll do one final sweep now, but—”
“
We
will,” Bailey said firmly. “I’m ready.”
The old fashioned glass floated away from Zane’s lips, and he frowned.
“What?”
“Put me in, boss,” she said with more bravado than she felt. “Let me take my first smoke break.”
THE DEVIL’S WATER DICTIONARY.
The Old Fashioned
A potable to lend physicality to the will of the mind
1
. Drop a sugar cube into an old fashioned glass and let dissolve in a little water
.
2
. Add four dashes of Angostura bitters
.
3
. Pour in two ounces of rye
.
4
. Stir well with a bar spoon
.
5
. Add an orange twist and one very large piece of ice. Serve
.
T he old fashioned is the premier whiskey cocktail. Its telekinetic properties make it incomparably versatile; a creative bartender can make use of its effects in offensive or defensive contexts and even beyond patrols, particularly in situations concerning high shelves.
The modern old fashioned was codified at the first National Symposium of the Cupbearers Court in 1852. Although this status has previously invited a cultural pushback, young generations of bartenders quickly found principles to be far less practical than moving things with one’s mind.
R YE W HISKEY .
American whiskey, which is made with a mash of at least 51 percent rye, was rediscovered in 1790, toward the beginning of the Great Hangover. Credit goes to Joshua Cromley, a Virginia distiller who, while drunkenly attempting to drive off a census taker, accidentally made his own horse explode.Rye whiskey soon became the preeminent weapon of the fledgling country’s defense against the unnatural. Subsequent rediscoveries gradually taught modern man how to temper the liquor’s raw power and, in doing so, saved the lives of countless horses.
A NGOSTURA B ITTERS .
Special preparations of botanically infused alcohol and water, bitters act as a lens to “refract” energy. Angostura bitters in particular were rediscovered in the 1820s by Johann Gottlieb Benjamin Siegert, a German doctor in Venezuela. Working from fragments of an old text, the doctor thought he had merely invented a new kind of medicine that tasted extremely good. It wasn’t until ten years later, when the concoction was displayed in England, that a bartender properly attributed Siegert’s discovery to the mixological arts.
O RANGE T WIST .
Fruit garnishes are inherently the freshest part of a finished cocktail. The matter of the old fashioned’s garnish was settled at the first National Symposium in 1852. The legendary Hortense LaRue, then merely an amateur bartender who had bluffed her way inside, bested all comers by presenting an old fashioned garnished with an orange peel. When the proponents of the lemon and the cherry protested that she must have cheated, and that as a woman she had no place at the court anyway, LaRue responded by mentally seizing the two
“It’s kind of a long way to say telekinesis,” Zane said. “But then again, telekinesis is kind of a long way to say telekinesis.”
She suddenly remembered they weren’t alone. “Wait. There are witnesses—”
He waved her off. “Ernie,” he called, “you don’t see anything, right?”
Ernie, now spread across three chairs, rolled over and scratched himself.
“See?” said Zane. “We’re fine. Now grab your coat. Or hell”—he gestured toward the back room—“I’ll get it for you.”
Her coat reeled into the room as if on an invisible fishing line, depositing itself neatly over her shoulders.
“Trina!” Zane called.
“Scrubbing,” Trina said from the bathroom.
“You said it was a pretty quiet night, right?”
Trina poked out her head. “Yup.”
“Congratulations,” Zane said. “You’re promoted back to bartender!”
“Thank God,” Trina said.
“You’re welcome.” Zane gave her a thumbs-up. “Can you handle the post-closing-time patrol? I’ll do one final sweep now, but—”
“
We
will,” Bailey said firmly. “I’m ready.”
The old fashioned glass floated away from Zane’s lips, and he frowned.
“What?”
“Put me in, boss,” she said with more bravado than she felt. “Let me take my first smoke break.”
THE DEVIL’S WATER DICTIONARY.
The Old Fashioned
A potable to lend physicality to the will of the mind
1
. Drop a sugar cube into an old fashioned glass and let dissolve in a little water
.
2
. Add four dashes of Angostura bitters
.
3
. Pour in two ounces of rye
.
4
. Stir well with a bar spoon
.
5
. Add an orange twist and one very large piece of ice. Serve
.
T he old fashioned is the premier whiskey cocktail. Its telekinetic properties make it incomparably versatile; a creative bartender can make use of its effects in offensive or defensive contexts and even beyond patrols, particularly in situations concerning high shelves.
The modern old fashioned was codified at the first National Symposium of the Cupbearers Court in 1852. Although this status has previously invited a cultural pushback, young generations of bartenders quickly found principles to be far less practical than moving things with one’s mind.
R YE W HISKEY .
American whiskey, which is made with a mash of at least 51 percent rye, was rediscovered in 1790, toward the beginning of the Great Hangover. Credit goes to Joshua Cromley, a Virginia distiller who, while drunkenly attempting to drive off a census taker, accidentally made his own horse explode.Rye whiskey soon became the preeminent weapon of the fledgling country’s defense against the unnatural. Subsequent rediscoveries gradually taught modern man how to temper the liquor’s raw power and, in doing so, saved the lives of countless horses.
A NGOSTURA B ITTERS .
Special preparations of botanically infused alcohol and water, bitters act as a lens to “refract” energy. Angostura bitters in particular were rediscovered in the 1820s by Johann Gottlieb Benjamin Siegert, a German doctor in Venezuela. Working from fragments of an old text, the doctor thought he had merely invented a new kind of medicine that tasted extremely good. It wasn’t until ten years later, when the concoction was displayed in England, that a bartender properly attributed Siegert’s discovery to the mixological arts.
O RANGE T WIST .
Fruit garnishes are inherently the freshest part of a finished cocktail. The matter of the old fashioned’s garnish was settled at the first National Symposium in 1852. The legendary Hortense LaRue, then merely an amateur bartender who had bluffed her way inside, bested all comers by presenting an old fashioned garnished with an orange peel. When the proponents of the lemon and the cherry protested that she must have cheated, and that as a woman she had no place at the court anyway, LaRue responded by mentally seizing the two
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