made some lace cookies. Daddy had gone to town to shop for some of the things he was planning to buy with the money. He returned with a box of chocolates and a bottle of French toilet water for Mama. It had been a while since I had seen him so buoyant and happy. He cleaned himself up for dinner and wore his best shirt and pants. As we ate, he rattled on and on about things we should do in the house.
"What'cha say we buy a new stove, Catherine?"
"The one I have is fine, Jack."
"Well, that ain't the point. I was thinking we would get one of them new radios and maybe I'll get you one of them Mixmasters so you don't have to stand over the bowl and churn and churn all day, how's that? And what about one of them
whatchamacallits that suck dirt up?"
"You need electricity for all those things, Jack," Mama reminded him dryly.
"Well, we'll get the electricity now. I got the money coming, don't I?"
"Don't spend it all in one day, Jack," Mama warned.
"Oh, I know that. I'm giving you a stash, but I'll need some money to invest. Can't live off five thousand forever, you know," he said as if he were already a big businessman. "Maybe instead of a truck and tools, I'll see about getting me my own shrimp boat with a down payment or--"
"Stop it," Mama said. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"What? What ,I do?"
She got up from the table and ran out the front door. "What I do?" Daddy asked me, his arms out.
"It's all right, Daddy. Let me talk to her."
I followed her. She was sitting in her rocker, staring at the darkness.
"Mama."
"I can't abide him sitting there gloating over all the things he's going to do with that money, Gabriel. I'm sorry. It's tainted money, no matter what," she insisted.
"I know, Mama. But it's not the money that matters so much. It's having a good place for the baby and keeping the shame from our door. Gladys Tate is right: Even though it's not my fault, people will think bad things about me, and what good man will want to know me?"
"She said that?"
"Yes, Mama."
"She really wants this baby, don't she?"
"It certainly seemed that way, Mama."
Mama sighed deeply and then held out her arms. I knelt beside her and buried my face against her bosom the way I used to when I was just a little girl and she held me close and rocked a bit. Then she kissed the top of my head.
"All right," she said. "I'll be all right. Just tell him to stuff his mouth with a pound of hemp."
I laughed and hugged her again. Mama was my best friend. There would be no one like her in the world for me, ever. It was knowledge that made me happy, but sad too, for I knew I would lose her someday and have to face mornings and days, nights and the stars, without her wisdom and comfort, her love and her smiles. It would be like a cloud forever and ever blocking the sun.
We returned and finished our meal. Daddy had sense enough to be quiet and went out back to smoke his corncob pipe and muse about his newfound wealth. After we cleaned the kitchen and dishes, Mama and I went back to the gallery and talked. She told me what it had been like when she was pregnant and how my birth went. She told me about the two babies her mother had lost, one in a miscarriage and one in a silent birth. I had never known it.
Just about eleven-thirty, Daddy appeared to tell me it was near the time.
"How's this going to work?" Mama asked.
"I just drive her up there and she goes into the house herself, right, Gabriel?"
"That's right, Mama."
"You see that she goes in safely, Jack."
"Of course I will," he snapped. "I don't care how rich them folks are. They ain't going to do nothing to make Jack Landry upset," he threatened.
"It's not Jack Landry I'm worrying over," Mama retorted.
"I'll go get my things, Daddy," I said, and hurried upstairs. I stood in my room for a while and gazed around. It wasn't a big room, but it was cozy and warm and the place where I had suffered through my childhood illness, cried my tears of frustration, dreamed my fantasies, and had some wonderful conversations
"What'cha say we buy a new stove, Catherine?"
"The one I have is fine, Jack."
"Well, that ain't the point. I was thinking we would get one of them new radios and maybe I'll get you one of them Mixmasters so you don't have to stand over the bowl and churn and churn all day, how's that? And what about one of them
whatchamacallits that suck dirt up?"
"You need electricity for all those things, Jack," Mama reminded him dryly.
"Well, we'll get the electricity now. I got the money coming, don't I?"
"Don't spend it all in one day, Jack," Mama warned.
"Oh, I know that. I'm giving you a stash, but I'll need some money to invest. Can't live off five thousand forever, you know," he said as if he were already a big businessman. "Maybe instead of a truck and tools, I'll see about getting me my own shrimp boat with a down payment or--"
"Stop it," Mama said. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"What? What ,I do?"
She got up from the table and ran out the front door. "What I do?" Daddy asked me, his arms out.
"It's all right, Daddy. Let me talk to her."
I followed her. She was sitting in her rocker, staring at the darkness.
"Mama."
"I can't abide him sitting there gloating over all the things he's going to do with that money, Gabriel. I'm sorry. It's tainted money, no matter what," she insisted.
"I know, Mama. But it's not the money that matters so much. It's having a good place for the baby and keeping the shame from our door. Gladys Tate is right: Even though it's not my fault, people will think bad things about me, and what good man will want to know me?"
"She said that?"
"Yes, Mama."
"She really wants this baby, don't she?"
"It certainly seemed that way, Mama."
Mama sighed deeply and then held out her arms. I knelt beside her and buried my face against her bosom the way I used to when I was just a little girl and she held me close and rocked a bit. Then she kissed the top of my head.
"All right," she said. "I'll be all right. Just tell him to stuff his mouth with a pound of hemp."
I laughed and hugged her again. Mama was my best friend. There would be no one like her in the world for me, ever. It was knowledge that made me happy, but sad too, for I knew I would lose her someday and have to face mornings and days, nights and the stars, without her wisdom and comfort, her love and her smiles. It would be like a cloud forever and ever blocking the sun.
We returned and finished our meal. Daddy had sense enough to be quiet and went out back to smoke his corncob pipe and muse about his newfound wealth. After we cleaned the kitchen and dishes, Mama and I went back to the gallery and talked. She told me what it had been like when she was pregnant and how my birth went. She told me about the two babies her mother had lost, one in a miscarriage and one in a silent birth. I had never known it.
Just about eleven-thirty, Daddy appeared to tell me it was near the time.
"How's this going to work?" Mama asked.
"I just drive her up there and she goes into the house herself, right, Gabriel?"
"That's right, Mama."
"You see that she goes in safely, Jack."
"Of course I will," he snapped. "I don't care how rich them folks are. They ain't going to do nothing to make Jack Landry upset," he threatened.
"It's not Jack Landry I'm worrying over," Mama retorted.
"I'll go get my things, Daddy," I said, and hurried upstairs. I stood in my room for a while and gazed around. It wasn't a big room, but it was cozy and warm and the place where I had suffered through my childhood illness, cried my tears of frustration, dreamed my fantasies, and had some wonderful conversations
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