man.
‘Handsome,’ I note.
‘
He
thinks so,’ she laughs, ‘but that bald head’s awful! He’s an actor. Very talented, and that’s not just his mother talking, the critics have often
said so too.’
‘Have I seen him in anything?’
‘I doubt it. He prefers the stage to movies or the telly, and he likes to take small, interesting character roles. That’s why he shaved his head — he wears a lot of wigs,
darting from one play to another.’
My eyes flick from the photo to Andeanna. ‘He favours you.’
‘Yes,’ she says proudly. ‘He inherited my finer characteristics and hardly any of Mikis’s lesser features. It drove Mikis mad. He hated the fact that his son looked more
like me than him. I used to lie and tell him that Greygo has his eyes and mouth. Over the years he’s come to believe that. But it isn’t true. He’s mine.’
Her fingers brush across her son’s face, then she takes the album from me and closes it. ‘Mikis insisted on a blood test. When Greygo didn’t look like him, he dragged us to our
doctor to make sure he was the father. If there’d been even a shadow of a doubt, we would have wound up at the bottom of the Thames. Mikis isn’t the sort who’d bring up another
man’s child, or allow him to live.’
‘Where is Greygo?’ I ask.
‘On tour with a rep company. He spends a lot of time on the road. I think he finds it easier that way.’
‘What do you mean?’
She sighs. ‘Greygo loves his father, and it’s reciprocal, but he knows he’s a disappointment. Mikis wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, but Greygo fell in love with
acting when he was a child. Mikis tried to dissuade him, but Greygo was adamant. When Mikis refused to support him, he won a scholarship to RADA. Any other parent would have been bursting with
pride – do you know how hard it is to get into RADA? – but Mikis went into depression. I think he was worried because so many actors are gay — at least that’s the myth. He
was afraid Greygo might go pink. To a man like Mikis, there’s nothing worse than a gay son.’
She’s babbling because she’s nervous. I gently bring her back to the point I was trying to make. ‘So we’re alone,’ I remark.
She nods tensely. ‘Yes.’ Then, trembling, she offers her lips. Our kiss is brief. When we separate, she looks troubled. ‘I know you’ve been patient, and I know how hard
it’s been. I don’t want to keep you hanging in suspense, but I . . . ’
‘It’s OK,’ I tell her.
‘There are things I haven’t told you, things . . . ’ I silence her with a kiss, but she’s determined to say her piece. ‘Mikis forces me to submit to gynaecological
tests. My doctor is one of his oldest friends. She answers directly to him.’ I stare at her, understanding at last why she’s been keeping me at arm’s length. ‘He springs her
on me without warning. Sometimes months pass between examinations. Then she’ll test me three times in a week.’ Andeanna looks up, tears forming. ‘She’s a godawful bitch and
thorough as the devil. No matter what precautions we took, I couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t find a trace of you. That’s why . . . ’
‘Oh God,’ I groan, embracing her. ‘You should have told me. If I’d known . . . Christ, I wouldn’t . . . I’d never have . . . ’
‘I want to give myself to you,’ she cries. ‘I want to be with you properly, but if she found out and told Mikis . . . ’
‘It’s OK,’ I whisper, kissing her forehead. ‘I can wait.’
She sniffs. ‘There’s no
wait
. I love you, but I won’t risk my life for you. If we could run away – if I thought he couldn’t find us – I’d light
out in an instant. I’d give it all up, this house, the lifestyle, everything. Even Greygo. I love you that much. But he’d find us. He’d kill us.’
‘Not if we killed him first.’ It’s barely a whisper.
She giggles. ‘Right. With copies of
Soul Vultures
.’
‘I’m serious. With
‘Handsome,’ I note.
‘
He
thinks so,’ she laughs, ‘but that bald head’s awful! He’s an actor. Very talented, and that’s not just his mother talking, the critics have often
said so too.’
‘Have I seen him in anything?’
‘I doubt it. He prefers the stage to movies or the telly, and he likes to take small, interesting character roles. That’s why he shaved his head — he wears a lot of wigs,
darting from one play to another.’
My eyes flick from the photo to Andeanna. ‘He favours you.’
‘Yes,’ she says proudly. ‘He inherited my finer characteristics and hardly any of Mikis’s lesser features. It drove Mikis mad. He hated the fact that his son looked more
like me than him. I used to lie and tell him that Greygo has his eyes and mouth. Over the years he’s come to believe that. But it isn’t true. He’s mine.’
Her fingers brush across her son’s face, then she takes the album from me and closes it. ‘Mikis insisted on a blood test. When Greygo didn’t look like him, he dragged us to our
doctor to make sure he was the father. If there’d been even a shadow of a doubt, we would have wound up at the bottom of the Thames. Mikis isn’t the sort who’d bring up another
man’s child, or allow him to live.’
‘Where is Greygo?’ I ask.
‘On tour with a rep company. He spends a lot of time on the road. I think he finds it easier that way.’
‘What do you mean?’
She sighs. ‘Greygo loves his father, and it’s reciprocal, but he knows he’s a disappointment. Mikis wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, but Greygo fell in love with
acting when he was a child. Mikis tried to dissuade him, but Greygo was adamant. When Mikis refused to support him, he won a scholarship to RADA. Any other parent would have been bursting with
pride – do you know how hard it is to get into RADA? – but Mikis went into depression. I think he was worried because so many actors are gay — at least that’s the myth. He
was afraid Greygo might go pink. To a man like Mikis, there’s nothing worse than a gay son.’
She’s babbling because she’s nervous. I gently bring her back to the point I was trying to make. ‘So we’re alone,’ I remark.
She nods tensely. ‘Yes.’ Then, trembling, she offers her lips. Our kiss is brief. When we separate, she looks troubled. ‘I know you’ve been patient, and I know how hard
it’s been. I don’t want to keep you hanging in suspense, but I . . . ’
‘It’s OK,’ I tell her.
‘There are things I haven’t told you, things . . . ’ I silence her with a kiss, but she’s determined to say her piece. ‘Mikis forces me to submit to gynaecological
tests. My doctor is one of his oldest friends. She answers directly to him.’ I stare at her, understanding at last why she’s been keeping me at arm’s length. ‘He springs her
on me without warning. Sometimes months pass between examinations. Then she’ll test me three times in a week.’ Andeanna looks up, tears forming. ‘She’s a godawful bitch and
thorough as the devil. No matter what precautions we took, I couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t find a trace of you. That’s why . . . ’
‘Oh God,’ I groan, embracing her. ‘You should have told me. If I’d known . . . Christ, I wouldn’t . . . I’d never have . . . ’
‘I want to give myself to you,’ she cries. ‘I want to be with you properly, but if she found out and told Mikis . . . ’
‘It’s OK,’ I whisper, kissing her forehead. ‘I can wait.’
She sniffs. ‘There’s no
wait
. I love you, but I won’t risk my life for you. If we could run away – if I thought he couldn’t find us – I’d light
out in an instant. I’d give it all up, this house, the lifestyle, everything. Even Greygo. I love you that much. But he’d find us. He’d kill us.’
‘Not if we killed him first.’ It’s barely a whisper.
She giggles. ‘Right. With copies of
Soul Vultures
.’
‘I’m serious. With
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