I made a mental map of the campus in my mind, trying to figure out what route he'd take, and how to get there first.
"Does he owe you money or something?" Jenn said, her long strides eating up the distance between us until she was right beside me.
"What? No," I said.
"Oh, so you have a crush on him, then," Jenn concluded.
It took me a second to hear the barely-covered hurt in her voice. Heat flashed through my body as I thought back to the party, of the warmth of her mouth against mine. Of the way she looked at me sometimes.
"Of course I don't," I said, regretting seeing her now.
The heels of her boots clicked on the sidewalk, my runners almost silent in comparison. Normally, I knew, I'd be so worried about having rushed through that last portion of my essay.
But the essay didn't really matter. Somehow, the more rational part of me knew I'd done just fine.
We moved around a bend in the road, both sides of it lined with evergreens. Their sweet pungent filled the air.
"So why do you want to see him so badly, then?" Jenn said.
"He..." I said, about to launch into the whole story of the walk home last night. I changed my mind, "He helped me study for the test. Today he's ignoring me. I just want to know what his deal is."
It wasn't exactly a lie. He had, in fact, helped me study by getting rid of Eric and Joseph. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn't showed? Would I be in some hospital somewhere? Would I be dead right now?
My breath caught in my throat at the thought, and the Fall air felt especially chilly against my face.
"What a weirdo," Jenn said, "Though, you know, he is kinda cute. Sometimes I miss being with guys. Sometimes," she finished, glancing my way.
She did seem a bit more relieved, though I thought that my little omission there was clear in my tone.
But then the library loomed up above the trees. It was designed like a fortress, the brown walls high and imposing. There were even crenellations along the roof. We started up the stairs to the entrance.
The building was recessed slightly into the ground, the windows of the "basement" clear to see. It was like a dry moat, ready to flood at any time to guard the knowledge secreted within.
"You saw him around here?" I said, looking through the plate-glass windows. There was the front desk, a line of students looking bored as they waited to check out books. To the right was the small cafe, and straight ahead a bank of computer terminals for searching through the catalog.
My eyes flicked back and forth, searching. I looked back over my shoulder, wondering if he was already out.
"There he is!" Jenn said, nodding towards the cafe.
He stood by the register, a can of soda in his hand ready to check out.
I wanted to reach for the handle to pull the door open, but my muscles froze. Doubts flooded me. What if he didn't want to talk because he didn't like me? What if he regretted what he'd done? What if he doesn't like me?
"You know, it's supposed to be the guy who's nervous about all this," Jenn said.
"I'm not nervous," I said, trying to hide how my hands shook.
"Whatever. Let's go find out what this guy's deal is. Want to grab lunch after?"
"Sure," I said.
Jenn pulled the door open and push ed me through. We went to the cafe and stood by the entrance, waiting for him to pay for the can of Coke he held.
The ground floor of the library was fairly noisy, with attendants asking people for their student cards, students loading and unloading backpacks and bags laden with books, chatting with their friends. I didn't think there was any way that he could have heard us.
As we stopped, he looked up. He paused, then, one hand digging in the pocket of his jeans for change. Jenn waved at him, a small, satisfied smile on her lips.
"It's like we caught him rubbing one out or something," she said, whispering it from the side of her mouth.
"Jenn!" I said, even though she'd said it so quietly I was certain I was the only one who could hear it.
But then Adam
"Does he owe you money or something?" Jenn said, her long strides eating up the distance between us until she was right beside me.
"What? No," I said.
"Oh, so you have a crush on him, then," Jenn concluded.
It took me a second to hear the barely-covered hurt in her voice. Heat flashed through my body as I thought back to the party, of the warmth of her mouth against mine. Of the way she looked at me sometimes.
"Of course I don't," I said, regretting seeing her now.
The heels of her boots clicked on the sidewalk, my runners almost silent in comparison. Normally, I knew, I'd be so worried about having rushed through that last portion of my essay.
But the essay didn't really matter. Somehow, the more rational part of me knew I'd done just fine.
We moved around a bend in the road, both sides of it lined with evergreens. Their sweet pungent filled the air.
"So why do you want to see him so badly, then?" Jenn said.
"He..." I said, about to launch into the whole story of the walk home last night. I changed my mind, "He helped me study for the test. Today he's ignoring me. I just want to know what his deal is."
It wasn't exactly a lie. He had, in fact, helped me study by getting rid of Eric and Joseph. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn't showed? Would I be in some hospital somewhere? Would I be dead right now?
My breath caught in my throat at the thought, and the Fall air felt especially chilly against my face.
"What a weirdo," Jenn said, "Though, you know, he is kinda cute. Sometimes I miss being with guys. Sometimes," she finished, glancing my way.
She did seem a bit more relieved, though I thought that my little omission there was clear in my tone.
But then the library loomed up above the trees. It was designed like a fortress, the brown walls high and imposing. There were even crenellations along the roof. We started up the stairs to the entrance.
The building was recessed slightly into the ground, the windows of the "basement" clear to see. It was like a dry moat, ready to flood at any time to guard the knowledge secreted within.
"You saw him around here?" I said, looking through the plate-glass windows. There was the front desk, a line of students looking bored as they waited to check out books. To the right was the small cafe, and straight ahead a bank of computer terminals for searching through the catalog.
My eyes flicked back and forth, searching. I looked back over my shoulder, wondering if he was already out.
"There he is!" Jenn said, nodding towards the cafe.
He stood by the register, a can of soda in his hand ready to check out.
I wanted to reach for the handle to pull the door open, but my muscles froze. Doubts flooded me. What if he didn't want to talk because he didn't like me? What if he regretted what he'd done? What if he doesn't like me?
"You know, it's supposed to be the guy who's nervous about all this," Jenn said.
"I'm not nervous," I said, trying to hide how my hands shook.
"Whatever. Let's go find out what this guy's deal is. Want to grab lunch after?"
"Sure," I said.
Jenn pulled the door open and push ed me through. We went to the cafe and stood by the entrance, waiting for him to pay for the can of Coke he held.
The ground floor of the library was fairly noisy, with attendants asking people for their student cards, students loading and unloading backpacks and bags laden with books, chatting with their friends. I didn't think there was any way that he could have heard us.
As we stopped, he looked up. He paused, then, one hand digging in the pocket of his jeans for change. Jenn waved at him, a small, satisfied smile on her lips.
"It's like we caught him rubbing one out or something," she said, whispering it from the side of her mouth.
"Jenn!" I said, even though she'd said it so quietly I was certain I was the only one who could hear it.
But then Adam
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