fault. I want to do stuff like that again,” she reluctantly admits, furiously blushing. “But I can’t. I crave it too much.”
Our eyes da rt away from each other’s to awkwardly stare at the carpet.
“I can’t make any promises that I won’t relapse into a possessive asshole. I’m taking the year off the table as an act of good faith. Whenever you want to dissolve our marriage, I’ll do it. With this shit going on with… whoever the fuck they are… it would probably be best if your money wasn’t tied to mine. That way they don’t have your family line, too, or however that works. I don’t know. Just… hell, you can have my money too. I don’t want it. I don’t know what I want anymore,” I whine in a voice that doesn’t sound like my own. I sound broken- ruined.
“Wow,” Marcus drawls. “What did my son do to you last night?”
“We played Tennis,” I tell the truth, something I don’t usually do.
“Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex I don’t understand?” Marc’s brow scrunches up in confusion.
“No,” I uncomfortably laugh. “We literally played tennis. No touching or anything. We talked for a bit before and after, and then went our separate ways. We each won a match. We’ll probably double with the kids. Have a tournament or something.”
“Are you okay?” Regina asks, as if realizing what this breakthrough is costing me.
“Eventually…” I pause, and then abruptly spit it out before I can change my mind, “Listen, I know you don’t love me like that. I finally get it. I get that I don’t love you like that either.”
Regina slumps in relief and it hurts like a sonofabitch. “We shouldn’t have ever gone there, Sunshine.”
“But we did… because I made you do it.” I pace in a circle, disgusted with myself. I’ve been emotionally raping Regina since I met her. I made her do anything I wanted by emotional manipulation, promises of a better future, and I used her fears against her. I even used the kids to get what I wanted, even though I knew she didn’t want to do it in the first place. I’m no better than my grandfather or father. Worse, because I promised that I wanted what was best for her because I loved her. Selfishly, I directed her towards what I thought was best for me. Too bad it was to our mutual detriment.
Regina snorts. “Yeah, it was a hardship for me. A brilliant, loving, loyal, and sexy as hell, young man married me and adopted my children. I could have done a lot worse,” she teases. “And the sex w as fantastic- mind blowing.” Regina shudders with remembrance of last night. I need to change the subject before my body registers in with my perverted thoughts.
My pervert meter just hit the red-alert level of incest. It was bad enough that I was with the mother of my siblings. But to come to the realization that I wanted her as my mom, too. It’s just too much for me to handle right now. I’m trying to ignore the hunger for her touch. My brain needs rewired. You shouldn’t want to make love to the woman you long to call Mom.
“If… if he wants them back.” I thought telling Regina that I’d give her a divorce was difficult, but this is killing me. The words lodge in my throat. “I’ll do it for them. I know what it feels like when your parents don’t want you. If Jamie will acknowledge them, I’ll sign my rights away. I guess he’d have to be Grant for that, though.”
“No, Whitt,” Regina rejects the notion , and I’m relieved. “You’re their dad.”
“Okay, but if you want me to bring it up to Jamie or Ella, I will. I don’t think Niel would agree, though. I… I love them as if they’re my kids, but I just want what’s best for them.”
“Were you abducted by aliens from the tennis court last night?” Marcus taunts me. “I won’t allow Jamie to acknowledge his children. It’s the fit punishment for his abhorrent behavior. Don’t ever bring this nonsense up again.”
“I’m really sorry… for
Our eyes da rt away from each other’s to awkwardly stare at the carpet.
“I can’t make any promises that I won’t relapse into a possessive asshole. I’m taking the year off the table as an act of good faith. Whenever you want to dissolve our marriage, I’ll do it. With this shit going on with… whoever the fuck they are… it would probably be best if your money wasn’t tied to mine. That way they don’t have your family line, too, or however that works. I don’t know. Just… hell, you can have my money too. I don’t want it. I don’t know what I want anymore,” I whine in a voice that doesn’t sound like my own. I sound broken- ruined.
“Wow,” Marcus drawls. “What did my son do to you last night?”
“We played Tennis,” I tell the truth, something I don’t usually do.
“Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex I don’t understand?” Marc’s brow scrunches up in confusion.
“No,” I uncomfortably laugh. “We literally played tennis. No touching or anything. We talked for a bit before and after, and then went our separate ways. We each won a match. We’ll probably double with the kids. Have a tournament or something.”
“Are you okay?” Regina asks, as if realizing what this breakthrough is costing me.
“Eventually…” I pause, and then abruptly spit it out before I can change my mind, “Listen, I know you don’t love me like that. I finally get it. I get that I don’t love you like that either.”
Regina slumps in relief and it hurts like a sonofabitch. “We shouldn’t have ever gone there, Sunshine.”
“But we did… because I made you do it.” I pace in a circle, disgusted with myself. I’ve been emotionally raping Regina since I met her. I made her do anything I wanted by emotional manipulation, promises of a better future, and I used her fears against her. I even used the kids to get what I wanted, even though I knew she didn’t want to do it in the first place. I’m no better than my grandfather or father. Worse, because I promised that I wanted what was best for her because I loved her. Selfishly, I directed her towards what I thought was best for me. Too bad it was to our mutual detriment.
Regina snorts. “Yeah, it was a hardship for me. A brilliant, loving, loyal, and sexy as hell, young man married me and adopted my children. I could have done a lot worse,” she teases. “And the sex w as fantastic- mind blowing.” Regina shudders with remembrance of last night. I need to change the subject before my body registers in with my perverted thoughts.
My pervert meter just hit the red-alert level of incest. It was bad enough that I was with the mother of my siblings. But to come to the realization that I wanted her as my mom, too. It’s just too much for me to handle right now. I’m trying to ignore the hunger for her touch. My brain needs rewired. You shouldn’t want to make love to the woman you long to call Mom.
“If… if he wants them back.” I thought telling Regina that I’d give her a divorce was difficult, but this is killing me. The words lodge in my throat. “I’ll do it for them. I know what it feels like when your parents don’t want you. If Jamie will acknowledge them, I’ll sign my rights away. I guess he’d have to be Grant for that, though.”
“No, Whitt,” Regina rejects the notion , and I’m relieved. “You’re their dad.”
“Okay, but if you want me to bring it up to Jamie or Ella, I will. I don’t think Niel would agree, though. I… I love them as if they’re my kids, but I just want what’s best for them.”
“Were you abducted by aliens from the tennis court last night?” Marcus taunts me. “I won’t allow Jamie to acknowledge his children. It’s the fit punishment for his abhorrent behavior. Don’t ever bring this nonsense up again.”
“I’m really sorry… for
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