Charlotte” he said
holding my chin, pulling my wet face to meet his gaze. His anger had evaporated
eyes full of tenderness as he studied my face. “Did you come here for me?” The
softness of his voice cut through my resolve and I imagined my tears had
already betrayed my earlier lie. I nodded simply as he pulled me into him, holding
my head and soothing my hair in a gesture that so was affectionate and gentle,
the tears started to roll again.
“I’m sorry Charlotte, I can’t. I really want
to, but I can’t bring you into this when you’ve never done it before”. “Why?” I
whispered simply as he shook his head. So I was getting no answers. I sighed
deeply, asking the snivelling emotional wreck that was currently occupying my
being ‘What would Smith do?’ I pulled away, holding his gaze and smiling
through the tears. “Because you don’t want me, or
because I’ve never done it before?” He cupped my face, kissing my cheek
lightly, his mouth was set in a firm line and I knew he was being as open as he
could. “Definitely the second one”. I kissed his cheek
back, standing up and straightening my dress.
“Only one thing for it then King. I’m going back inside. Next time you
see me, you can guarantee I’ll have done it before. Problem solved”. I pushed
my shoulders back and forced my feet forward, knowing myself well enough to
recognise the spontaneous, ill thought through behaviour I was displaying, that
would wind up landing me in an even bigger mess. I hadn’t even decided whether
I was calling his bluff or I was actually going to find the handsome rugby
player from earlier, but either way, I was moving ahead with steely resolve. He
had a choice to make. As I hit the patio steps, I prayed I would hear his
voice, but it never came. I made my way inside and headed straight for the
front exit where I got into a waiting cab and cried
all the way home.
I’d
made some terrible decisions around King and last night was up there as the
worst one yet. He wanted me but wouldn’t or couldn’t introduce me to that
lifestyle. The problem was that I wanted to try it now, but I wanted to try it
with King. He wouldn’t move forward in the usual fashion and he didn’t do
girlfriends. I had to be a totally deluded idiot. The man couldn’t spell it out
more clearly. There was only one thing for it. More pitches than I could handle
that would leave me mentally drained and too exhausted to think about anything
else. And cake I thought, reaching for a slice of lemon Madeira. I was still
way too mad at chocolate to even consider it. Sasha called around ten. I hadn’t
told King that she was my referee and wasn’t sure if he could find out, but
from her happy demeanour, I guessed it hadn’t mattered either way.
“How
did it go?” she smiled down the line, as I recalled the events of the night in
glorious detail. “Oh” she sighed simply and it made me laugh, there really was
nothing else to be said. “Yep, the Jason King ship has well and truly sailed” I
said eventually, as she apologised profusely for putting me in that position.
“You didn’t Sash, I’m a big girl and I made that decision all by myself” I said
in attempt to appease her and it was true enough. “I actually enjoyed it up to
that point. I met a nice guy called Ewan, really tall, Scottish, looks like
he’s taken a few knocks” I laughed.
“Ewan McDowd ” professional rugby player and all round
awesome fuck apparently” she laughed. “See Sash, not a totally wasted evening.
I’ll get King out my system soon enough and then who knows”. As we said our
goodbyes I started to wonder just how long it would take to get Jason King out
of my system. Another piece of Madeira cake and work, work, work, but how the
hell was I going to make an interesting pitch for pre boiled eggs?
Monday
and Tuesday came and went in a blur of sales reports and practice pitches.
Anderson still hadn’t realised how close we were in revenue as Mondays
holding my chin, pulling my wet face to meet his gaze. His anger had evaporated
eyes full of tenderness as he studied my face. “Did you come here for me?” The
softness of his voice cut through my resolve and I imagined my tears had
already betrayed my earlier lie. I nodded simply as he pulled me into him, holding
my head and soothing my hair in a gesture that so was affectionate and gentle,
the tears started to roll again.
“I’m sorry Charlotte, I can’t. I really want
to, but I can’t bring you into this when you’ve never done it before”. “Why?” I
whispered simply as he shook his head. So I was getting no answers. I sighed
deeply, asking the snivelling emotional wreck that was currently occupying my
being ‘What would Smith do?’ I pulled away, holding his gaze and smiling
through the tears. “Because you don’t want me, or
because I’ve never done it before?” He cupped my face, kissing my cheek
lightly, his mouth was set in a firm line and I knew he was being as open as he
could. “Definitely the second one”. I kissed his cheek
back, standing up and straightening my dress.
“Only one thing for it then King. I’m going back inside. Next time you
see me, you can guarantee I’ll have done it before. Problem solved”. I pushed
my shoulders back and forced my feet forward, knowing myself well enough to
recognise the spontaneous, ill thought through behaviour I was displaying, that
would wind up landing me in an even bigger mess. I hadn’t even decided whether
I was calling his bluff or I was actually going to find the handsome rugby
player from earlier, but either way, I was moving ahead with steely resolve. He
had a choice to make. As I hit the patio steps, I prayed I would hear his
voice, but it never came. I made my way inside and headed straight for the
front exit where I got into a waiting cab and cried
all the way home.
I’d
made some terrible decisions around King and last night was up there as the
worst one yet. He wanted me but wouldn’t or couldn’t introduce me to that
lifestyle. The problem was that I wanted to try it now, but I wanted to try it
with King. He wouldn’t move forward in the usual fashion and he didn’t do
girlfriends. I had to be a totally deluded idiot. The man couldn’t spell it out
more clearly. There was only one thing for it. More pitches than I could handle
that would leave me mentally drained and too exhausted to think about anything
else. And cake I thought, reaching for a slice of lemon Madeira. I was still
way too mad at chocolate to even consider it. Sasha called around ten. I hadn’t
told King that she was my referee and wasn’t sure if he could find out, but
from her happy demeanour, I guessed it hadn’t mattered either way.
“How
did it go?” she smiled down the line, as I recalled the events of the night in
glorious detail. “Oh” she sighed simply and it made me laugh, there really was
nothing else to be said. “Yep, the Jason King ship has well and truly sailed” I
said eventually, as she apologised profusely for putting me in that position.
“You didn’t Sash, I’m a big girl and I made that decision all by myself” I said
in attempt to appease her and it was true enough. “I actually enjoyed it up to
that point. I met a nice guy called Ewan, really tall, Scottish, looks like
he’s taken a few knocks” I laughed.
“Ewan McDowd ” professional rugby player and all round
awesome fuck apparently” she laughed. “See Sash, not a totally wasted evening.
I’ll get King out my system soon enough and then who knows”. As we said our
goodbyes I started to wonder just how long it would take to get Jason King out
of my system. Another piece of Madeira cake and work, work, work, but how the
hell was I going to make an interesting pitch for pre boiled eggs?
Monday
and Tuesday came and went in a blur of sales reports and practice pitches.
Anderson still hadn’t realised how close we were in revenue as Mondays
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