immediately,
rather like someone else I knew, thoughts returning to Jason, the bottom
suddenly dropping out of my stomach at the thought he might not want me. God, I
hadn’t even considered that possibility and my face fell. “Are you OK?” Ewan’s
soft Scottish accent brought me right back into the present. “Yes” I nodded
“I’m just a bit nervous” I smiled as I felt the radiating heat of a new
presence to my right, not as broad as Ewan but by no means less intimidating.
My stomach flipped at his appearance and fell as soon as I saw the anger carved
into his face. “Jason” Ewan held out his hand. “Would you excuse us” he said firmly,
his arm sliding around my waist as he all but pushed me to the exit onto a
deserted patio. I stole a glance back at Ewan who was cocking his head,
smirking at me and watching us, slightly bewildered.
“What
the fuck are you doing here Charlotte?” he said, his
voice low and deep but filled with an anger and emotion I wasn’t used to from
Jason. He was usually calm, usually in control, but right now he was anything
but. I didn’t answer, visibly shrinking under the force of his glare. “Are you
here because of me?” he demanded and I didn’t know what to say. I was, but I
wasn’t altogether sure that admitting it at this point was the sensible thing
to do, and I felt pretty sure it would land Sasha in the shit. She had betrayed
a confidence to help ease my suffering and I couldn’t jeopardise that for her.
“No, I wanted to give it a go. I didn’t know you’d be here” I tried, but it was
pretty unconvincing, my shallow breathing under his forceful heat making me
feel more than a little intimidated. If I had any chance of him believing me I
had to ‘Smith’ up.
“I don’t believe you”. I took a deep breath “I
don’t give a fuck what you believe King. If I remember correctly you can’t take
things forward with me, so why do you care anyway?” His eyes were blazing into
mine, so many emotions running through his gorgeous features I couldn’t even
begin to guess what he was thinking. “Have you done this before?” I shook my
head. “No, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’ve never summoned up
the courage to come before. I decided I had nothing to lose today, being blown
out kind of does that to a girl King” I challenged him. “Fine. Just to let you know, that if you have come here for me, you’re wasting your
time. I would never introduce someone to this kind of lifestyle” he said with a firmness so unwavering I didn’t doubt for a second that he
was telling the truth.
“It’s
not about you, you arrogant conceited prick” I turned and walked to the other
end of the patio, not daring to go inside in case I wandered off with Ewan
through spite and got myself into all kinds of trouble. I could see the low
lights of a twinkling curved blue pool in the distance, and made my way there,
leaving King furious on the patio and trying desperately not to cry. I managed
until I hit the sun lounger, lowly lit under the blanket of the night and the
tears came, hot and soft, covering my cheeks in a relentless stream as I put my
head in my hands. What the hell had I done?
I
sat there for an age, trying to calm myself, but knowing I had fucked things up
irrevocably with King and made an enormous fool of myself by seeming to chase
after him when he’d already told me there was no way forward. I had wanted to
try this and at some point in the future I might, with Ewan or someone else,
but right now I only wanted King, and I knew he meant every single word he’d
just said.
The
jacket came around my shoulders as I shivered in the cool night air and I
recognised the woody masculine scent that inflamed my senses and exhaled
loudly, wiping my tears away as best I could, as he sat on the lounger beside
me. “I had no right to do that, I’m sorry” he said, sounding as deflated as I
felt. “But you really have to be straight with me here
rather like someone else I knew, thoughts returning to Jason, the bottom
suddenly dropping out of my stomach at the thought he might not want me. God, I
hadn’t even considered that possibility and my face fell. “Are you OK?” Ewan’s
soft Scottish accent brought me right back into the present. “Yes” I nodded
“I’m just a bit nervous” I smiled as I felt the radiating heat of a new
presence to my right, not as broad as Ewan but by no means less intimidating.
My stomach flipped at his appearance and fell as soon as I saw the anger carved
into his face. “Jason” Ewan held out his hand. “Would you excuse us” he said firmly,
his arm sliding around my waist as he all but pushed me to the exit onto a
deserted patio. I stole a glance back at Ewan who was cocking his head,
smirking at me and watching us, slightly bewildered.
“What
the fuck are you doing here Charlotte?” he said, his
voice low and deep but filled with an anger and emotion I wasn’t used to from
Jason. He was usually calm, usually in control, but right now he was anything
but. I didn’t answer, visibly shrinking under the force of his glare. “Are you
here because of me?” he demanded and I didn’t know what to say. I was, but I
wasn’t altogether sure that admitting it at this point was the sensible thing
to do, and I felt pretty sure it would land Sasha in the shit. She had betrayed
a confidence to help ease my suffering and I couldn’t jeopardise that for her.
“No, I wanted to give it a go. I didn’t know you’d be here” I tried, but it was
pretty unconvincing, my shallow breathing under his forceful heat making me
feel more than a little intimidated. If I had any chance of him believing me I
had to ‘Smith’ up.
“I don’t believe you”. I took a deep breath “I
don’t give a fuck what you believe King. If I remember correctly you can’t take
things forward with me, so why do you care anyway?” His eyes were blazing into
mine, so many emotions running through his gorgeous features I couldn’t even
begin to guess what he was thinking. “Have you done this before?” I shook my
head. “No, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’ve never summoned up
the courage to come before. I decided I had nothing to lose today, being blown
out kind of does that to a girl King” I challenged him. “Fine. Just to let you know, that if you have come here for me, you’re wasting your
time. I would never introduce someone to this kind of lifestyle” he said with a firmness so unwavering I didn’t doubt for a second that he
was telling the truth.
“It’s
not about you, you arrogant conceited prick” I turned and walked to the other
end of the patio, not daring to go inside in case I wandered off with Ewan
through spite and got myself into all kinds of trouble. I could see the low
lights of a twinkling curved blue pool in the distance, and made my way there,
leaving King furious on the patio and trying desperately not to cry. I managed
until I hit the sun lounger, lowly lit under the blanket of the night and the
tears came, hot and soft, covering my cheeks in a relentless stream as I put my
head in my hands. What the hell had I done?
I
sat there for an age, trying to calm myself, but knowing I had fucked things up
irrevocably with King and made an enormous fool of myself by seeming to chase
after him when he’d already told me there was no way forward. I had wanted to
try this and at some point in the future I might, with Ewan or someone else,
but right now I only wanted King, and I knew he meant every single word he’d
just said.
The
jacket came around my shoulders as I shivered in the cool night air and I
recognised the woody masculine scent that inflamed my senses and exhaled
loudly, wiping my tears away as best I could, as he sat on the lounger beside
me. “I had no right to do that, I’m sorry” he said, sounding as deflated as I
felt. “But you really have to be straight with me here
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