Killing Honor by S. M. Butler

Riley wanted in on the action as well, even if she was unsure of Brody. She crawled over and climbed in his lap, on his other leg. Riley screamed and pushed Jackie hard. Jackie got mad and pushed Riley. Pretty soon they were trying hard to do it simultaneously.
    Brody overruled both screamers. “Stop, you two.” They froze, completely stopped their fight. I’d never seen them just stop like that. Both stared at Brody, awe in their expression. “If you’re going to sit on me, you’re going to be still and quiet, okay?” Both slumped into a pout, but the fight had stopped. “Good.”
    Damn, he was good. This just didn’t happen with two year olds.
    I sat back on the couch, listening to Riley and Jackie chatter away with their father. No, they weren’t being quiet, but they weren’t screams or fighting, so he allowed it. In fact, he chattered along with them, which I hadn’t expected.
    I was watching my family from the outside, a position I’d never expected. I wanted Brody to bond with his children, sure. I shouldn’t have been jealous of that. But, I’d expected to be part of it myself.
    Maybe that made me petty. I was actually pretty sure that made me petty. But that was how I felt. I despised that feeling. The jealousy. The feeling of the outsider. I was the outsider now.
    ~*~*~
    Brody
    Devyn was quiet for the rest of the day. Actually, I was pretty sure that I’d hurt her feelings. My head had been so filled with warnings and fear from the day that I had just shut her out.
    It was easier for me to just sit with the girls. I needed innocence. I needed to know they were safe.  I didn’t want to be a danger to them, but it seemed that being a danger was exactly what I was. I’d brought it right to my own doorstep.
    Devyn was still downstairs. She’d let me put the girls to bed tonight, my first time doing it alone. I’d hoped she would do it with me, but she’d said she needed to finish cleaning up. I wanted to make it up to her, because I had behaved horribly when I’d come home.
    I blew out a nervous breath and glanced around the bedroom. I hadn’t spent an entire night in this room since I’d come home. Between the nightmares, and the insomnia, sleeping was impossible. But I wanted to do that tonight, spend the entire night with her, to show that I did love her.  My stomach did summersaults, bouncing around like there was a full-blown war in my gut.
    If ever I needed a reminder of how much Dev meant to me, two years without her had solidified that. I’d become dependent on her, on her presence in my life, in all the years we’d known each other. She kept me grounded. She’d been there since the beginning for me. She’d told me the day I said I was joining the Navy that she’d wait for me. And she had. Never faltered. Never wavered.
    When had it gotten so hot in this house? I stripped off my shirt and tossed it to my side of the room. My side of the room. My side of the bed. Was it still my side when I’d been gone so long? Was there a statute of limitations on how long a side of the bed belonged to a person?
    I’d never wondered even once about that. I’d never wondered if Devyn would still be there. I’d never doubted she would be. If Devyn was anything, loyal and true was it. How else could I explain how the woman stayed for me? Out of the five years of our marriage, we’d only ever been in the same place for a little over a year and yet, she was still there.
    With this Giroux operation, there was a high probability that I’d be deployed again. Maybe not for two years this time, but there would be raids in the future. A few weeks here and there. Missions to capture or kill Giroux family. Could she love a man she never saw? Would I ever be part of this family?
    I ran my fingers along the wooden headboard. How did Devyn sleep now? Did she still curl up on her side, her head slightly tilted toward me? That was doubtful since I hadn’t been there. Maybe she slept on her stomach, like when