this one?” Esther held up a dress that was so weighted with ruffles, she needed the help of the shopkeeper to lift it.
I scrunched my face into a frown and stared at it before finally shaking my head. “No. Too bridal,” I said.
Esther stared icy daggers at me, daggers I pointedly ignored as I moved to the next rack.
“Thank you,” she said to the shopkeeper, though I heard the tight irritation in her voice.
“You don’t have to stay, Esther. I’m sure I’ll find something,” I said as I wanly flipped through yet another rack. And though I sounded confident, or at least I thought so, I wasn’t sure. Half, more than half, of this stuff wouldn’t fit me, and the rest…ugh.
“Yeah, right. I’m the matron of honor. I don’t think I’ll be abandoning you to find your own wedding dress. Though I am tempted,” she added.
I laughed and looked at her, somewhat alarmed by the serious expression on her face.
“What is it?” I asked as I left the rack and settled on the chaise lounge in the middle of the storeroom floor.
The place was empty, save the owner, something Vasile had insisted on before he’d agreed to this. He’d told me to have a dress made, and when I replied that would mean hours in the dressmaker’s home or hours with her in ours, he’d relented. But he’d still made arrangements that any store I attended would not be open to the public, so Esther and I had the run of the places.
“You tell me,” Esther said, bringing me back to the present.
“What do you mean?” I asked lamely, knowing that my best friend wouldn’t buy it for a single moment.
“Um, you know how much I love shopping. It’s my favorite thing to do. Not. But I seem more excited about this than you do, and I care fuck-all about dresses. You seem so…detached, not yourself, Fawn. Tell me what’s wrong?” she said.
“Nothing.” I stopped when she cut sharp eyes at me and then restarted. “I just…I don’t…”
Her eyes widened and I trailed off. “Are you getting cold feet?” she whispered as if saying the words in a loud voice would give them power.
“No,” I said firmly, wanting to leave no question that marrying Vasile was something I wanted with all my heart, and something I had absolutely no hesitation about.
“Good,” Esther replied, nodding rapidly. “I didn’t think so, but that would be okay, you know? You’re allowed to have feelings of doubt and you’re allowed to express them.”
“I know,” I said. “And I really am excited, more than excited, and anxious to be his wife, but…”
“Go ahead,” she said.
“I hate people looking at me,” I said on a whisper, feeling every bit as stupid and ashamed as I had since before I’d even met him.
“Ah,” Esther said, nodding sagely. “So the wedding of the century was not what you’d had in mind?”
I shook my head. “I thought it was going to be just us, you know, like with you and Sorin. Maybe Lily and Anton. But there are over fifteen hundred people coming. And that’s not the final count,” I said.
“What?” Esther replied loudly. She looked around the room and then smiled before she lowered her voice. “Sorin said it was going to be a small event.”
“Funny. Vasile said the same thing. I guess they have the same misguided ideas about what ‘small’ means,” I said.
“There’s nothing wrong with not wanting every person under the sun at your wedding,” Esther said.
“I know, but he’s so into it. He’s taken over the planning completely, and I told him to run with it. But when he mentioned the size of the guest list…”
“Maybe half of them won’t show up,” Esther offered.
“They’ll be there,” I said with certainty.
“Yeah, I guess his is not an invitation you turn down,” she said. “Still, it seems out of character for him. That many people.”
“He says it’s a matter of respect. He can’t invite this one without the others or offense could be taken.”
“Oh, so you’re
I scrunched my face into a frown and stared at it before finally shaking my head. “No. Too bridal,” I said.
Esther stared icy daggers at me, daggers I pointedly ignored as I moved to the next rack.
“Thank you,” she said to the shopkeeper, though I heard the tight irritation in her voice.
“You don’t have to stay, Esther. I’m sure I’ll find something,” I said as I wanly flipped through yet another rack. And though I sounded confident, or at least I thought so, I wasn’t sure. Half, more than half, of this stuff wouldn’t fit me, and the rest…ugh.
“Yeah, right. I’m the matron of honor. I don’t think I’ll be abandoning you to find your own wedding dress. Though I am tempted,” she added.
I laughed and looked at her, somewhat alarmed by the serious expression on her face.
“What is it?” I asked as I left the rack and settled on the chaise lounge in the middle of the storeroom floor.
The place was empty, save the owner, something Vasile had insisted on before he’d agreed to this. He’d told me to have a dress made, and when I replied that would mean hours in the dressmaker’s home or hours with her in ours, he’d relented. But he’d still made arrangements that any store I attended would not be open to the public, so Esther and I had the run of the places.
“You tell me,” Esther said, bringing me back to the present.
“What do you mean?” I asked lamely, knowing that my best friend wouldn’t buy it for a single moment.
“Um, you know how much I love shopping. It’s my favorite thing to do. Not. But I seem more excited about this than you do, and I care fuck-all about dresses. You seem so…detached, not yourself, Fawn. Tell me what’s wrong?” she said.
“Nothing.” I stopped when she cut sharp eyes at me and then restarted. “I just…I don’t…”
Her eyes widened and I trailed off. “Are you getting cold feet?” she whispered as if saying the words in a loud voice would give them power.
“No,” I said firmly, wanting to leave no question that marrying Vasile was something I wanted with all my heart, and something I had absolutely no hesitation about.
“Good,” Esther replied, nodding rapidly. “I didn’t think so, but that would be okay, you know? You’re allowed to have feelings of doubt and you’re allowed to express them.”
“I know,” I said. “And I really am excited, more than excited, and anxious to be his wife, but…”
“Go ahead,” she said.
“I hate people looking at me,” I said on a whisper, feeling every bit as stupid and ashamed as I had since before I’d even met him.
“Ah,” Esther said, nodding sagely. “So the wedding of the century was not what you’d had in mind?”
I shook my head. “I thought it was going to be just us, you know, like with you and Sorin. Maybe Lily and Anton. But there are over fifteen hundred people coming. And that’s not the final count,” I said.
“What?” Esther replied loudly. She looked around the room and then smiled before she lowered her voice. “Sorin said it was going to be a small event.”
“Funny. Vasile said the same thing. I guess they have the same misguided ideas about what ‘small’ means,” I said.
“There’s nothing wrong with not wanting every person under the sun at your wedding,” Esther said.
“I know, but he’s so into it. He’s taken over the planning completely, and I told him to run with it. But when he mentioned the size of the guest list…”
“Maybe half of them won’t show up,” Esther offered.
“They’ll be there,” I said with certainty.
“Yeah, I guess his is not an invitation you turn down,” she said. “Still, it seems out of character for him. That many people.”
“He says it’s a matter of respect. He can’t invite this one without the others or offense could be taken.”
“Oh, so you’re
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