unexplainable was tugging at me and I wasn’t sure how to analyze it. Yeah, that’s right . My internal rational, mother-hen of a subconscious reminded me. Keep overthinking, you freak! You’ve been alone with him all of two times, and one of those times you were completely intoxicated and mauling each other. This is Beck we’re talking about. Stop making it more than it is.
Was I making it more than it was? It didn’t seem that way at lunch when we were laughing and sharing confidences effortlessly. I didn’t want to cross a line and ask Beck where he saw this going because he kept mentioning that we were just having fun. He was fresh out of a two-year relationship with Marissa. Maybe he was just occupying his time with me until she wanted him back.
These were all questions I wanted answers to, but there was no way I’d ask them. I wasn’t about to fuck up this good feeling I had when I was with Beck. I wanted to just let it be without putting too much weight into it, even if there was this unexplainable warmth and giddiness every time I thought about him. It was probably just the idea of something new, the idea of being wanted by someone. But, was I crazy to think we could be more than some friend-turned-fling situation? I mean, look at Marcus and Tessa. They were trying to make it work and that seemed pretty absurd to me.
Either way, it was all too much to think about with the kind of weekend we had ahead of us. Sitting at my desk and scrolling through my to-do list without really paying attention, I thought about how everything would play out at the lake house.
We’d have to be super discreet in front of Marcus. For one thing, he would think I was playing tit-for-tat by hooking up with his friend since I told him not to hook up with mine. And secondly, I didn’t want to justify myself to him. Right now, my feelings were all over the place. Explaining to my brother that I was enjoying meaningless sex with his best friend would not go over well. And describing it as meaningless sex wasn’t fully true—on my end at least.
I had a lot to think about before I went and said anything I’d regret to anyone. Most of all, Beck. I’d have to feel him out before I made a fool out of myself by asking him a million questions about our situation, or lack thereof.
“Hey, boo. Have a second?” Fallon broke me of the internal struggle between my brain and my heart.
“Sure, what’s up?” I didn’t bother to look up from my desk, because Fallon would be sure to read right through me and see I’d been overthinking all things Beck since the moment I sat back down.
“We got a call from a new client today. I wanted to go over your calendar with you so that we could schedule—Ah! Who the fuck am I kidding? I want to know about your lunch date with the young, hot fireman.”
I turned around to face him, arching an eyebrow incredulously. “Smooth one, Fal. But there’s nothing to tell. It went great, he’s a sweetheart, and somehow I’ll screw this whole thing up because I already feel that I like him more than I should.”
He plopped into the chair next to my desk, pulling it as close to me as humanly possible. “Yeah. Okay… nothing to tell, wench. That’s quite a mouth full. Oh and speaking of mouthfuls, is he one?”
“Fallon! Can’t you be serious for one damn second, you perv?”
“I’m sorry, but my mind was wandering the whole time you were at lunch. Did he really take you to eat or did you go, you know, act out some of those schmexy-ass texts in person?”
“Okay, that’s enough. Back to work.”
I usually didn’t mind sharing all the gory details with Fallon, but today my mind was racing with too many warring emotions to hash it all out in a timely fashion. I had shit to get done if I wanted to have a decent Fourth of July weekend dodging my brother and Tessa’s make-out sessions and trying to hide my feelings toward Beck from everyone, including him. This was going to be fun. I could
Was I making it more than it was? It didn’t seem that way at lunch when we were laughing and sharing confidences effortlessly. I didn’t want to cross a line and ask Beck where he saw this going because he kept mentioning that we were just having fun. He was fresh out of a two-year relationship with Marissa. Maybe he was just occupying his time with me until she wanted him back.
These were all questions I wanted answers to, but there was no way I’d ask them. I wasn’t about to fuck up this good feeling I had when I was with Beck. I wanted to just let it be without putting too much weight into it, even if there was this unexplainable warmth and giddiness every time I thought about him. It was probably just the idea of something new, the idea of being wanted by someone. But, was I crazy to think we could be more than some friend-turned-fling situation? I mean, look at Marcus and Tessa. They were trying to make it work and that seemed pretty absurd to me.
Either way, it was all too much to think about with the kind of weekend we had ahead of us. Sitting at my desk and scrolling through my to-do list without really paying attention, I thought about how everything would play out at the lake house.
We’d have to be super discreet in front of Marcus. For one thing, he would think I was playing tit-for-tat by hooking up with his friend since I told him not to hook up with mine. And secondly, I didn’t want to justify myself to him. Right now, my feelings were all over the place. Explaining to my brother that I was enjoying meaningless sex with his best friend would not go over well. And describing it as meaningless sex wasn’t fully true—on my end at least.
I had a lot to think about before I went and said anything I’d regret to anyone. Most of all, Beck. I’d have to feel him out before I made a fool out of myself by asking him a million questions about our situation, or lack thereof.
“Hey, boo. Have a second?” Fallon broke me of the internal struggle between my brain and my heart.
“Sure, what’s up?” I didn’t bother to look up from my desk, because Fallon would be sure to read right through me and see I’d been overthinking all things Beck since the moment I sat back down.
“We got a call from a new client today. I wanted to go over your calendar with you so that we could schedule—Ah! Who the fuck am I kidding? I want to know about your lunch date with the young, hot fireman.”
I turned around to face him, arching an eyebrow incredulously. “Smooth one, Fal. But there’s nothing to tell. It went great, he’s a sweetheart, and somehow I’ll screw this whole thing up because I already feel that I like him more than I should.”
He plopped into the chair next to my desk, pulling it as close to me as humanly possible. “Yeah. Okay… nothing to tell, wench. That’s quite a mouth full. Oh and speaking of mouthfuls, is he one?”
“Fallon! Can’t you be serious for one damn second, you perv?”
“I’m sorry, but my mind was wandering the whole time you were at lunch. Did he really take you to eat or did you go, you know, act out some of those schmexy-ass texts in person?”
“Okay, that’s enough. Back to work.”
I usually didn’t mind sharing all the gory details with Fallon, but today my mind was racing with too many warring emotions to hash it all out in a timely fashion. I had shit to get done if I wanted to have a decent Fourth of July weekend dodging my brother and Tessa’s make-out sessions and trying to hide my feelings toward Beck from everyone, including him. This was going to be fun. I could
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