come home.
“Julie?” Matt asked. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I watched as the wax melted quickly beneath each flame, “I don’t know what to wish for.”
“Ah, it can’t be too hard, Pumpkin,” Charlie said. “Wish for what you want.”
I nodded, but only because there was no possible way to explain that I had no idea what I wanted. I’d never been so confused.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and extinguished the candles with one long blow. The smoke wafted from the wicks as Charlie and Matt clapped.
“So, what didja wish for?” Matt asked. “New car? A million dollars?”
“Clarity,” I took a long, deep breath.
“Clarity? What kind of cheapo wish is that?”
“It’s perfect,” Charlie pressed a kiss to the side of my head.
“Listen,” I said, looking between them, “this was all great. I love the cake, and the presents were amazing. You guys outdid yourselves. But I’ve had a long day, and I think I’m just going to turn in for the night.”
“Whatever you want,” Charlie said. “We’ll save the cake for tomorrow.”
With a hug and a kiss to both of them, I trekked up the back staircase and into my room. When I closed my door, kicked off my shoes, and threw myself back on the bed, I took a minute to praise myself for making the most adult decision in my life to date. I could’ve wished for anything back there, but I didn’t. I wished for the one thing that would help me move forward.
I turned and opened my eyes, staring over at the open window. The wind blew in, and it was just cold enough to justify shutting the glass. It was stuck, and I hadn’t been able to close it for days. Fortunately, the spring evenings hadn’t been unbearably cold, but there was something eerily uncomfortable about the chilliness in the air right then. Another gust came rushing in, this time forcing me to pull a blanket up under my chin. The cold forced me to take deeper breaths; it made me shiver to the bone. More than anything, that open window served as a reminder that comfort was just within reach; I only had to be cold as long as I chose to be. All I had to do was take a deep breath, find the strength to get up, and fight. If I truly wanted to make a difference, then I just had to stand up and do something about it.
I closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep despite the wind, but my cell phone chimed on my bedside table. My eyes snapped open, and I stared at the glowing screen.
One New Message
Derek
I stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating whether or not I wanted to know what the message said. After I’d spilled my guts earlier and told Derek I missed him, he never responded. He never answered, never gave me the satisfaction of knowing if he’d heard what I said. I guess at some point he just hung up. I couldn’t know whether or not he missed me, too, or if he had anything else left to say to me.
Now he was sending me a message, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I guess there was at least one thing he needed to say.
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the sharp, cold air, and I somehow summoned the courage to open the message.
Derek
I miss you, too.
I closed my eyes and let his four little words sink in.
As if I suddenly had all the strength in the world, I pushed back the covers, rolled out of bed, and walked across my bedroom—effortlessly closing that damn window once and for all.
CHAPTER FOUR
Thursday, March 07
“The man’s father killed your parents, Julie,” Matt slammed a vase on the counter. “How can you even give him a second thought?”
I should’ve known that telling Matt about Derek’s phone call and text message would be a mistake. Though he’d taken to Hannah very quickly when the Milton duo first arrived in Oakland, he’d never been Derek’s biggest fan. After the shooting that put Luke in the hospital, Matt was certain—just as certain as Luke, in fact—that Derek was worthless, dangerous, and a threat to
“Julie?” Matt asked. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I watched as the wax melted quickly beneath each flame, “I don’t know what to wish for.”
“Ah, it can’t be too hard, Pumpkin,” Charlie said. “Wish for what you want.”
I nodded, but only because there was no possible way to explain that I had no idea what I wanted. I’d never been so confused.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and extinguished the candles with one long blow. The smoke wafted from the wicks as Charlie and Matt clapped.
“So, what didja wish for?” Matt asked. “New car? A million dollars?”
“Clarity,” I took a long, deep breath.
“Clarity? What kind of cheapo wish is that?”
“It’s perfect,” Charlie pressed a kiss to the side of my head.
“Listen,” I said, looking between them, “this was all great. I love the cake, and the presents were amazing. You guys outdid yourselves. But I’ve had a long day, and I think I’m just going to turn in for the night.”
“Whatever you want,” Charlie said. “We’ll save the cake for tomorrow.”
With a hug and a kiss to both of them, I trekked up the back staircase and into my room. When I closed my door, kicked off my shoes, and threw myself back on the bed, I took a minute to praise myself for making the most adult decision in my life to date. I could’ve wished for anything back there, but I didn’t. I wished for the one thing that would help me move forward.
I turned and opened my eyes, staring over at the open window. The wind blew in, and it was just cold enough to justify shutting the glass. It was stuck, and I hadn’t been able to close it for days. Fortunately, the spring evenings hadn’t been unbearably cold, but there was something eerily uncomfortable about the chilliness in the air right then. Another gust came rushing in, this time forcing me to pull a blanket up under my chin. The cold forced me to take deeper breaths; it made me shiver to the bone. More than anything, that open window served as a reminder that comfort was just within reach; I only had to be cold as long as I chose to be. All I had to do was take a deep breath, find the strength to get up, and fight. If I truly wanted to make a difference, then I just had to stand up and do something about it.
I closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep despite the wind, but my cell phone chimed on my bedside table. My eyes snapped open, and I stared at the glowing screen.
One New Message
Derek
I stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating whether or not I wanted to know what the message said. After I’d spilled my guts earlier and told Derek I missed him, he never responded. He never answered, never gave me the satisfaction of knowing if he’d heard what I said. I guess at some point he just hung up. I couldn’t know whether or not he missed me, too, or if he had anything else left to say to me.
Now he was sending me a message, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I guess there was at least one thing he needed to say.
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the sharp, cold air, and I somehow summoned the courage to open the message.
Derek
I miss you, too.
I closed my eyes and let his four little words sink in.
As if I suddenly had all the strength in the world, I pushed back the covers, rolled out of bed, and walked across my bedroom—effortlessly closing that damn window once and for all.
CHAPTER FOUR
Thursday, March 07
“The man’s father killed your parents, Julie,” Matt slammed a vase on the counter. “How can you even give him a second thought?”
I should’ve known that telling Matt about Derek’s phone call and text message would be a mistake. Though he’d taken to Hannah very quickly when the Milton duo first arrived in Oakland, he’d never been Derek’s biggest fan. After the shooting that put Luke in the hospital, Matt was certain—just as certain as Luke, in fact—that Derek was worthless, dangerous, and a threat to
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