my grampa Miller has one of those things with fifty bucks in it. Only don’t tell Grandma.”
Mrs. took my hand. Then me and her walked back to my table.
“Yeah, only guess what I’m wondering now? Now I’m wondering what your bedtime is. ’Cause my bedtime is when the little hand is at the seven, and the big hand is at the six. Only I hate that dumb stupid bedtime. ’Cause I’m not even tired yet, of course.”
Mrs. put her finger up to her lips.
“That’s enough, Junie B.,” she said. “I mean it. I want you to settle down now.”
Then she went right back to the front of the room. And she didn’t answer any of my questions.
’Cause guess why?
Mrs. is a secret mystery guy. That’s why.
3 / Secret Mystery Guy
Me and my bestest friend Grace rode the bus home together.
That’s when I told her about Mrs. and her secret house.
“Mrs. is a secret mystery guy,” I said. “’Cause she wouldn’t answer any of my questions. And so now I have curiosity about her.”
That Grace wrinkled her eyebrows. “Me, too,” she said. “Now I have curiosity about her, too.”
I patted her again. “Yeah, only too bad,Grace. But you can’t have as much as me. ’Cause I said it first, remember that?”
That Grace did another huffy at me.
“Whoops. Your nose is still whistling, Grace,” I said.
A few minutes later, I got off the bus. I runned to my house like a speedy rocket.
“GRANDMA! GRANDMA!” I shouted very excited. “IT’S ME! IT’S JUNIE B. JONES! I’M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!”
Grandma Miller babysits me and baby Ollie when Mother is at work.
She was in the kitchen feeding Ollie sprained peas.
“GUESS WHAT, GRANDMA! GUESS WHAT? MY TEACHER IS A SECRET MYSTERY GUY! AND SHE WON’T TELL ME WHERE SHE LIVES. ONLY I WANT TO GO TO HER HOUSE VERY BAD!”
Grandma Miller shushed me. “There’s no need to shout, Junie B.,” she said. “I’m right here.”
“Yeah, only I can’t help it, Grandma! ’Cause I have curiosity about her!”
Grandma Miller did a little smile. “Curiosity killed the cat, you know,” she said.
Then my mouth went open. And my eyes got very big too.
“What cat, Grandma? Where did the curiosity kill it? Was it in the street by my school? ’Cause I saw a squished cat in the street by my school. Only Paulie Allen Puffer said it got runned over by the ice cream truck.”
Grandma Miller looked at me for a very long time. Then she went to the sink. And she took an aspirin.
Just then I heard a noise at the front door.
And its name is Mother was home from work!
“MOTHER! MOTHER! I HAVE A ’PORTANT NOTE FROM MRS. ’CAUSE YOU AND ME ARE GOING TO BAKE DELICIOUS COOKIES. AND THEN WE CAN TAKE THEM TO HER HOUSE AND SEE WHERE SHE LIVES!”
Mother read the note.
“The note says to take the cookies to school, Junie B. Not to your teacher’s house.”
“Yeah, only I already know that. But my teacher is a secret mystery guy. And she won’t tell me where she lives. And so you and me have to find it ourselves.”
Mother shook her head. “No way, toots,” she said.
“Yes way!” I hollered. “We have to!’Cause now I’ve got curiosity in me. And I have to find out where her house is. Or else Grandma said I’m gonna get runned over by an ice cream truck.”
Then Mother did a frown at Grandma. And Grandma took another aspirin.
“Your teacher is
not
a secret mystery guy, Junie B.,” said Mother. “She’s just a regular person. With a regular family. And there’s no way that you and I are going to bother her at her house.”
I stamped my foot. “YES WE ARE! WE ARE TOO! ’CAUSE I WANT TO, THAT’S WHY!”
After that, I got sended to my room.
’Cause of no shouting. And no stamping my foot. Only I never even heard of that dumb rule before.
I shut my door very angry. Then I put myhead under my pillow. And I called Mother the name of pewie head.
“And guess what else?” I said very quiet. “Teachers are not regular people.
“So there. Ha ha.”
4 /
Mrs. took my hand. Then me and her walked back to my table.
“Yeah, only guess what I’m wondering now? Now I’m wondering what your bedtime is. ’Cause my bedtime is when the little hand is at the seven, and the big hand is at the six. Only I hate that dumb stupid bedtime. ’Cause I’m not even tired yet, of course.”
Mrs. put her finger up to her lips.
“That’s enough, Junie B.,” she said. “I mean it. I want you to settle down now.”
Then she went right back to the front of the room. And she didn’t answer any of my questions.
’Cause guess why?
Mrs. is a secret mystery guy. That’s why.
3 / Secret Mystery Guy
Me and my bestest friend Grace rode the bus home together.
That’s when I told her about Mrs. and her secret house.
“Mrs. is a secret mystery guy,” I said. “’Cause she wouldn’t answer any of my questions. And so now I have curiosity about her.”
That Grace wrinkled her eyebrows. “Me, too,” she said. “Now I have curiosity about her, too.”
I patted her again. “Yeah, only too bad,Grace. But you can’t have as much as me. ’Cause I said it first, remember that?”
That Grace did another huffy at me.
“Whoops. Your nose is still whistling, Grace,” I said.
A few minutes later, I got off the bus. I runned to my house like a speedy rocket.
“GRANDMA! GRANDMA!” I shouted very excited. “IT’S ME! IT’S JUNIE B. JONES! I’M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!”
Grandma Miller babysits me and baby Ollie when Mother is at work.
She was in the kitchen feeding Ollie sprained peas.
“GUESS WHAT, GRANDMA! GUESS WHAT? MY TEACHER IS A SECRET MYSTERY GUY! AND SHE WON’T TELL ME WHERE SHE LIVES. ONLY I WANT TO GO TO HER HOUSE VERY BAD!”
Grandma Miller shushed me. “There’s no need to shout, Junie B.,” she said. “I’m right here.”
“Yeah, only I can’t help it, Grandma! ’Cause I have curiosity about her!”
Grandma Miller did a little smile. “Curiosity killed the cat, you know,” she said.
Then my mouth went open. And my eyes got very big too.
“What cat, Grandma? Where did the curiosity kill it? Was it in the street by my school? ’Cause I saw a squished cat in the street by my school. Only Paulie Allen Puffer said it got runned over by the ice cream truck.”
Grandma Miller looked at me for a very long time. Then she went to the sink. And she took an aspirin.
Just then I heard a noise at the front door.
And its name is Mother was home from work!
“MOTHER! MOTHER! I HAVE A ’PORTANT NOTE FROM MRS. ’CAUSE YOU AND ME ARE GOING TO BAKE DELICIOUS COOKIES. AND THEN WE CAN TAKE THEM TO HER HOUSE AND SEE WHERE SHE LIVES!”
Mother read the note.
“The note says to take the cookies to school, Junie B. Not to your teacher’s house.”
“Yeah, only I already know that. But my teacher is a secret mystery guy. And she won’t tell me where she lives. And so you and me have to find it ourselves.”
Mother shook her head. “No way, toots,” she said.
“Yes way!” I hollered. “We have to!’Cause now I’ve got curiosity in me. And I have to find out where her house is. Or else Grandma said I’m gonna get runned over by an ice cream truck.”
Then Mother did a frown at Grandma. And Grandma took another aspirin.
“Your teacher is
not
a secret mystery guy, Junie B.,” said Mother. “She’s just a regular person. With a regular family. And there’s no way that you and I are going to bother her at her house.”
I stamped my foot. “YES WE ARE! WE ARE TOO! ’CAUSE I WANT TO, THAT’S WHY!”
After that, I got sended to my room.
’Cause of no shouting. And no stamping my foot. Only I never even heard of that dumb rule before.
I shut my door very angry. Then I put myhead under my pillow. And I called Mother the name of pewie head.
“And guess what else?” I said very quiet. “Teachers are not regular people.
“So there. Ha ha.”
4 /
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