can’t marry her!” Cookie wailed. “You’re engaged to me!
“He’s engaged to me!” she repeated to Emily. “I swear. He gave me half a heart.” She lifted her pendant and showed it to Emily and everybody else in the Grand Showroom. “He promised he’d marry me!”
By now, two security guards had descended on her.
“Leave me alone,” she said, swatting at them. But these guys were as big as refrigerators. They hoisted her by the elbows and began hauling her back up the aisle.
“You miserable sonofabitch!” she screamed at Graham as they carted her away. “You don’t deserve to live!”
A buzz of excited chatter filled the air in the wake of her exit, everyone yapping about the dramatic scene they’d just witnessed.
The Great Branzini sure had a tough act to follow.
“I knew all along your precious Graham was no good!” Kyle crowed. “The man is a con artist, Aunt Emily!”
“He’s just out for your money!” Nesbitt chimed in.
Emily turned to Graham and looked at him questioningly, her face pale.
But he didn’t miss a beat.
“You mustn’t believe Cookie,” he said, smooth as silk. “She’s mentally unbalanced; anyone can see that. We’re not engaged. Never were. We’re just good friends, that’s all. Everything else is all in her imagination.”
Okay, I could sit through this claptrap no longer. Time to speak up.
“That’s not true, Emily,” I protested. “Graham is engaged to Cookie. I heard him tell her he’d buy her a wedding ring.”
Graham whirled on me, his gray eyes cold as steel.
“I don’t know what you think you heard, Jaine, but I never proposed to Cookie. She and I are just good friends.”
“Emily,” I said, “I swear I heard—”
Emily held up her hand to stop me.
“No more, Jaine. I’m sure you must be mistaken. If Graham says he didn’t ask Cookie to marry him, I believe him.”
She gazed up at him and smiled serenely.
And at that moment, I realized Emily knew exactly what she was getting into. She knew Graham was a gold digger, and she didn’t care. She’d tossed her good sense out the window and put her heart and money on the line.
Just another hapless victim in the game of love.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
To: Jaineausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: A Perfect Match!
Well, lambchop, your old Daddy did it again!
I just finished painting over that spot on your wall, and if I do say so myself, I did a terrific job. It was a perfect match. You’d never know there was ever a scuff mark!
Love and hugs,
Daddy
To: Jaineausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: What a Klutz!
Oh, Lord. Your father has gone and done it again!
I knew I should’ve never let him paint that scuff mark. Not only does the paint clash with the color on your wall, but now he’s gone and spattered some of it on your beautiful hardwood floor! What a klutz!
Sorry I can’t write more now. Lance is coming for dinner and I’ve got to check my pot roast.
Love from,
Your frazzled Mom
To: Jaineausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: One Tiny Problem
Hi, Lambchop—
I forgot to mention a tiny problem that cropped up when I painted that spot on your wall. A bit of the paint spattered onto your hardwood floor. But I’ll just get it off with some paint remover, easy-sneezy, no problemo.
By the way, did your mom tell you she invited Lance over for dinner tonight? Such a production! You’d think the Pope was coming. All I can say is it’s a good thing I’ve got my trusty pipe to relax with.
XOXO,
Daddy
To: Jaineausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: PS from Mom
PS. When was the last time you cooked a meal in your oven, sweetheart? When I opened it to put in the roast, I found an umbrella.
Chapter 10
I was jarred awake the next morning by a commotion next door in Cookie’s cabin. I did not need to put my ear to the wall to hear footsteps stomping, drawers slamming, and Cookie shouting, “I swear I don’t have them!”
Then the cabin door banged shut and all was quiet. Except for
“He’s engaged to me!” she repeated to Emily. “I swear. He gave me half a heart.” She lifted her pendant and showed it to Emily and everybody else in the Grand Showroom. “He promised he’d marry me!”
By now, two security guards had descended on her.
“Leave me alone,” she said, swatting at them. But these guys were as big as refrigerators. They hoisted her by the elbows and began hauling her back up the aisle.
“You miserable sonofabitch!” she screamed at Graham as they carted her away. “You don’t deserve to live!”
A buzz of excited chatter filled the air in the wake of her exit, everyone yapping about the dramatic scene they’d just witnessed.
The Great Branzini sure had a tough act to follow.
“I knew all along your precious Graham was no good!” Kyle crowed. “The man is a con artist, Aunt Emily!”
“He’s just out for your money!” Nesbitt chimed in.
Emily turned to Graham and looked at him questioningly, her face pale.
But he didn’t miss a beat.
“You mustn’t believe Cookie,” he said, smooth as silk. “She’s mentally unbalanced; anyone can see that. We’re not engaged. Never were. We’re just good friends, that’s all. Everything else is all in her imagination.”
Okay, I could sit through this claptrap no longer. Time to speak up.
“That’s not true, Emily,” I protested. “Graham is engaged to Cookie. I heard him tell her he’d buy her a wedding ring.”
Graham whirled on me, his gray eyes cold as steel.
“I don’t know what you think you heard, Jaine, but I never proposed to Cookie. She and I are just good friends.”
“Emily,” I said, “I swear I heard—”
Emily held up her hand to stop me.
“No more, Jaine. I’m sure you must be mistaken. If Graham says he didn’t ask Cookie to marry him, I believe him.”
She gazed up at him and smiled serenely.
And at that moment, I realized Emily knew exactly what she was getting into. She knew Graham was a gold digger, and she didn’t care. She’d tossed her good sense out the window and put her heart and money on the line.
Just another hapless victim in the game of love.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
To: Jaineausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: A Perfect Match!
Well, lambchop, your old Daddy did it again!
I just finished painting over that spot on your wall, and if I do say so myself, I did a terrific job. It was a perfect match. You’d never know there was ever a scuff mark!
Love and hugs,
Daddy
To: Jaineausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: What a Klutz!
Oh, Lord. Your father has gone and done it again!
I knew I should’ve never let him paint that scuff mark. Not only does the paint clash with the color on your wall, but now he’s gone and spattered some of it on your beautiful hardwood floor! What a klutz!
Sorry I can’t write more now. Lance is coming for dinner and I’ve got to check my pot roast.
Love from,
Your frazzled Mom
To: Jaineausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: One Tiny Problem
Hi, Lambchop—
I forgot to mention a tiny problem that cropped up when I painted that spot on your wall. A bit of the paint spattered onto your hardwood floor. But I’ll just get it off with some paint remover, easy-sneezy, no problemo.
By the way, did your mom tell you she invited Lance over for dinner tonight? Such a production! You’d think the Pope was coming. All I can say is it’s a good thing I’ve got my trusty pipe to relax with.
XOXO,
Daddy
To: Jaineausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: PS from Mom
PS. When was the last time you cooked a meal in your oven, sweetheart? When I opened it to put in the roast, I found an umbrella.
Chapter 10
I was jarred awake the next morning by a commotion next door in Cookie’s cabin. I did not need to put my ear to the wall to hear footsteps stomping, drawers slamming, and Cookie shouting, “I swear I don’t have them!”
Then the cabin door banged shut and all was quiet. Except for
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