ok?”
Eddie nodded.
Dr. Mark took their tray and slid it into a big rack full of trays, and they walked the long hallway back to the elevator, and then rode the elevator up from “B” to “1” where they got off for the office. It was a slow elevator that clanked, not one of the fast kind that tickled his stomach. Eddie’s grandparents waited on a bench in the hallway, and stood up to talk to the doctor.
“Ok, Eddie, you can wait inside and I’ll be in to talk with you in a minute. I’ll just be a minute with your grandparents, here, then you can go home. You can keep that box of Kleenex, if you want.”
“Thanks.”
Eddie sat on the couch with the Kleenex, and closed his eyes. He could hear Dr. Mark talking with his grandparents through the glass behind him.
“He’s doing better,” Dr. Mark said, “but he hasn’t realized that his mother is dead, nor what his part was in it. I would like to see him again after the funeral, but between now and then there are some things that need to be done. Can I count on you to help Eddie out?”
“That’s why we’re here,” his grandfather said. “This is no picnic for us, you know. But we want to do the best thing for the boy.”
“Good, that’s good. I would like for you to tell him again that his mother is dead, and that she’s gone away. You said that Dr. Jacobs also told him this, and I’d like you to take him back to Dr. Jacobs so that he can repeat it. Then Eddie has to see his mother before she’s buried. . . .”
“No!” his grandmother interrupted, “no, we can’t do that to the boy. She’s so terribly . . . burned and. . . .”
“And he’s already seen her,” Dr. Mark said. “He remembers her as being alive, as taking the medicine that always helped her before. To realize that she is dead, as best a boy his age can realize it, he has to see her. He should participate in whatever your family custom is. If you don’t have one, adopt one. And he should see her laid to rest. . . .”
“She’s being cremated,” his grandfather said. “This isn’t an open-casket situation, I hope you know. . . .”
“I realize that, sir. But for Eddie’s sake, he has to see her as a dead person. I’m sure that the funeral home would help you with this, and he should be in the company of someone who will let him touch her, talk to her, see that she’s not breathing and not like a living person. Is someone close to him who would do that?”
An uncomfortable silence grew behind the door.
“If neither of you feels comfortable, perhaps Dr. Jacobs . . . ?”
“I . . . I’ll take the boy,” his grandmother said. “I’ll take him.”
“Good. Then call me the day after the funeral to set up an appointment. I’ll want to see him as soon as possible after that. He’s had some hard times in his young life, but he’s an exceptional boy and I’m sure he can come out of this all right.”
The office door squeaked when it opened, something Eddie hadn’t noticed before.
“Eddie, your grandparents are taking you home, now. I’ll see you again in a couple of days, ok?”
Eddie nodded. When he opened his eyes he saw that tears had dropped into the Kleenex box and dotted the tissues. Eddie’s tight throat strangled with his cryless sobs. He stared into the box of blue Kleenex and the hole reminded him of the hole in the world that the earthquake made. He remembered Rafferty, haloed in blue on the other side. The hole opened up like a butterfly. Eddie wanted to run away with Rafferty. Then he could find the part of “away” that his mother went to.
Eddie felt his fingers and toes tingle, and he concentrated on the Kleenex box when he tried to catch his breath. His ears rang too loud to hear, and he felt Dr. Mark’s hand on his shoulder just as a fast-fluttering hole opened up in the box of Kleenex and he fell right in.
Every god that is dead can be conjured to life again.
—Joseph Campbell, The Way of the Animal Powers
The Jaguar felt
Eddie nodded.
Dr. Mark took their tray and slid it into a big rack full of trays, and they walked the long hallway back to the elevator, and then rode the elevator up from “B” to “1” where they got off for the office. It was a slow elevator that clanked, not one of the fast kind that tickled his stomach. Eddie’s grandparents waited on a bench in the hallway, and stood up to talk to the doctor.
“Ok, Eddie, you can wait inside and I’ll be in to talk with you in a minute. I’ll just be a minute with your grandparents, here, then you can go home. You can keep that box of Kleenex, if you want.”
“Thanks.”
Eddie sat on the couch with the Kleenex, and closed his eyes. He could hear Dr. Mark talking with his grandparents through the glass behind him.
“He’s doing better,” Dr. Mark said, “but he hasn’t realized that his mother is dead, nor what his part was in it. I would like to see him again after the funeral, but between now and then there are some things that need to be done. Can I count on you to help Eddie out?”
“That’s why we’re here,” his grandfather said. “This is no picnic for us, you know. But we want to do the best thing for the boy.”
“Good, that’s good. I would like for you to tell him again that his mother is dead, and that she’s gone away. You said that Dr. Jacobs also told him this, and I’d like you to take him back to Dr. Jacobs so that he can repeat it. Then Eddie has to see his mother before she’s buried. . . .”
“No!” his grandmother interrupted, “no, we can’t do that to the boy. She’s so terribly . . . burned and. . . .”
“And he’s already seen her,” Dr. Mark said. “He remembers her as being alive, as taking the medicine that always helped her before. To realize that she is dead, as best a boy his age can realize it, he has to see her. He should participate in whatever your family custom is. If you don’t have one, adopt one. And he should see her laid to rest. . . .”
“She’s being cremated,” his grandfather said. “This isn’t an open-casket situation, I hope you know. . . .”
“I realize that, sir. But for Eddie’s sake, he has to see her as a dead person. I’m sure that the funeral home would help you with this, and he should be in the company of someone who will let him touch her, talk to her, see that she’s not breathing and not like a living person. Is someone close to him who would do that?”
An uncomfortable silence grew behind the door.
“If neither of you feels comfortable, perhaps Dr. Jacobs . . . ?”
“I . . . I’ll take the boy,” his grandmother said. “I’ll take him.”
“Good. Then call me the day after the funeral to set up an appointment. I’ll want to see him as soon as possible after that. He’s had some hard times in his young life, but he’s an exceptional boy and I’m sure he can come out of this all right.”
The office door squeaked when it opened, something Eddie hadn’t noticed before.
“Eddie, your grandparents are taking you home, now. I’ll see you again in a couple of days, ok?”
Eddie nodded. When he opened his eyes he saw that tears had dropped into the Kleenex box and dotted the tissues. Eddie’s tight throat strangled with his cryless sobs. He stared into the box of blue Kleenex and the hole reminded him of the hole in the world that the earthquake made. He remembered Rafferty, haloed in blue on the other side. The hole opened up like a butterfly. Eddie wanted to run away with Rafferty. Then he could find the part of “away” that his mother went to.
Eddie felt his fingers and toes tingle, and he concentrated on the Kleenex box when he tried to catch his breath. His ears rang too loud to hear, and he felt Dr. Mark’s hand on his shoulder just as a fast-fluttering hole opened up in the box of Kleenex and he fell right in.
Every god that is dead can be conjured to life again.
—Joseph Campbell, The Way of the Animal Powers
The Jaguar felt
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