a child.
He thought of Lilly’s difficulty to adjust to this life and give up her past, and he now understood why. Yet she’d never said a word to him. Not even with their recent relations—and he hated that it bothered him as much as it did.
He should have checked into the life she’d lived, but it wasn’t something they bothered with unless there was a problem. It had been a mistake to not look into it further, especially when she was so hesitant to leave her past behind.
“So we’re going to just sit here and hope he shows up?” Lilly pulled him from his thoughts, shifting to face him, her movements stiff with tension.
“What would you have me do, Lilly? By all means, if you have a better idea, I’d like to hear it. How would you catch Jack? Because I’d like to know—as chancellor, since you like to remind me every chance you get.”
“Hmph.” She crossed her arms, and looked straight ahead.
He knew he shouldn’t be annoyed with her. After all, why should she open up to him? Their relations, though more frequent as of late, had not ever turned towards the serious.
Or had they?
He looked at her, and it was as if he was seeing her again for the first time. His heart pounded a rapid beat, even though she sat there annoyed with him. Truth was, it made her all the more irresistible—and already he found it hard to resist her charms. But there was more, he suddenly realized, even if he refused to acknowledge it for long.
“Tell me, my love, how would you catch Jack?” He leaned in and nipped at her ear, ignoring her when she swatted at him like she was ridding herself of a pesky fly. “I did not think you’d want me to force his hand by doing something extreme.” His lips trailed down her neck, and though she pushed him away, it was half-hearted, her defenses weakening. “I’ll not let you get bored while we wait… I promise.”
“Damn it, Mason.” She shifted far enough away to hold him in her gaze—a gaze that halted his very breath. “I can no longer play your games. It’s one thing for us to pursue a casual relation, but it leaves me dizzy, for it never feels casual. Instead I feel like I’ve been swept away by a winter storm into a tumultuous sea—and I’m drowning, Mason. I cannot do this.”
It wasn’t what he’d expected, and his heart tightened as if it no longer had the space it needed to beat. “Lilly… I don’t understand.”
It had been a long time since fear gripped him like it did just now, and the thought of losing her left him wondering how he could have put himself in such a vulnerable position. He cupped her cheek, his eyes searching hers for a glimmer of hope. “I’m confused as to whether you want to see less of me or more.”
“I wish I knew, Mason.” She leaned against his hand, her eyes half closing. “The truth is I’d feel a fool to give you my heart for I do not think you can keep it safe, and yet…”
“What, love?” He pulled her close and nuzzled her, desperate to not lose the little they had between them. “And yet?”
“… my heart breaks to think of not having you in my life.”
When she turned away from him, his frustration sparked in fear. “Have I not proven my loyalty to you? I do not understand what more you want. You certainly seemed to have few qualms when it came to pursuing something with Jack.”
With a shake of his head, he cursed himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. From the moment he set eyes on her, he’d known she’d cause him nothing but problems and heartache.
“It was different with Jack.”
“Different, indeed. For who could resist his good looks or his penchant for murdering prostitutes?” The woman was infuriating.
“Yes. Those were my exact thoughts when I took him to my bed.” Lilly’s eyes blazed, no longer looking away, her voice edged with anger. It took all he had to not kiss her then and there.
He thought of Lilly’s difficulty to adjust to this life and give up her past, and he now understood why. Yet she’d never said a word to him. Not even with their recent relations—and he hated that it bothered him as much as it did.
He should have checked into the life she’d lived, but it wasn’t something they bothered with unless there was a problem. It had been a mistake to not look into it further, especially when she was so hesitant to leave her past behind.
“So we’re going to just sit here and hope he shows up?” Lilly pulled him from his thoughts, shifting to face him, her movements stiff with tension.
“What would you have me do, Lilly? By all means, if you have a better idea, I’d like to hear it. How would you catch Jack? Because I’d like to know—as chancellor, since you like to remind me every chance you get.”
“Hmph.” She crossed her arms, and looked straight ahead.
He knew he shouldn’t be annoyed with her. After all, why should she open up to him? Their relations, though more frequent as of late, had not ever turned towards the serious.
Or had they?
He looked at her, and it was as if he was seeing her again for the first time. His heart pounded a rapid beat, even though she sat there annoyed with him. Truth was, it made her all the more irresistible—and already he found it hard to resist her charms. But there was more, he suddenly realized, even if he refused to acknowledge it for long.
“Tell me, my love, how would you catch Jack?” He leaned in and nipped at her ear, ignoring her when she swatted at him like she was ridding herself of a pesky fly. “I did not think you’d want me to force his hand by doing something extreme.” His lips trailed down her neck, and though she pushed him away, it was half-hearted, her defenses weakening. “I’ll not let you get bored while we wait… I promise.”
“Damn it, Mason.” She shifted far enough away to hold him in her gaze—a gaze that halted his very breath. “I can no longer play your games. It’s one thing for us to pursue a casual relation, but it leaves me dizzy, for it never feels casual. Instead I feel like I’ve been swept away by a winter storm into a tumultuous sea—and I’m drowning, Mason. I cannot do this.”
It wasn’t what he’d expected, and his heart tightened as if it no longer had the space it needed to beat. “Lilly… I don’t understand.”
It had been a long time since fear gripped him like it did just now, and the thought of losing her left him wondering how he could have put himself in such a vulnerable position. He cupped her cheek, his eyes searching hers for a glimmer of hope. “I’m confused as to whether you want to see less of me or more.”
“I wish I knew, Mason.” She leaned against his hand, her eyes half closing. “The truth is I’d feel a fool to give you my heart for I do not think you can keep it safe, and yet…”
“What, love?” He pulled her close and nuzzled her, desperate to not lose the little they had between them. “And yet?”
“… my heart breaks to think of not having you in my life.”
When she turned away from him, his frustration sparked in fear. “Have I not proven my loyalty to you? I do not understand what more you want. You certainly seemed to have few qualms when it came to pursuing something with Jack.”
With a shake of his head, he cursed himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. From the moment he set eyes on her, he’d known she’d cause him nothing but problems and heartache.
“It was different with Jack.”
“Different, indeed. For who could resist his good looks or his penchant for murdering prostitutes?” The woman was infuriating.
“Yes. Those were my exact thoughts when I took him to my bed.” Lilly’s eyes blazed, no longer looking away, her voice edged with anger. It took all he had to not kiss her then and there.
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